Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

The Thanksgiving holiday is behind us, or under our belt (ha ha, puns intended!) and I'm so glad that Christmas is coming! I'm ready for the cold weather that we're experiencing and simply can't wait for snow! December looks to be a rabid month. I have Christmas parades, my office party, Bob's work party, a trip to Kansas City to see an old grade school friend and to go shopping, a Girl's Night Out with my bestest and oldest friend from 3rd grade AND I have plans to go dress shopping with another friend! Dress shopping!? Seriously!!!!!!!!! Ok, maybe I won't get a dress but I will be getting something festive! I've got two holiday parties to go to so by God I'm going shopping!

Like an idiot, I did the Black Friday shopping in Joplin. The sales weren't great but I did get a few decent buys and I'm glad to have gone. Too bad Mrs. Coach wasn't with me or Zale's would be short one pair of 5/8 carat earrings. Maybe next year.......

Friday afternoon I got to see my amazingly funny sister, her super nice husband and their fantasticly awesome boys (MY NEPHEWS!!!!!!!!!). We had a wonderful visit and I really do hope we can make it to St. Louis for Christmas! I keep saying that and it never works out but dammit I'm going to try again!

Thursday, Miss Whineyhiney is getting her braces put on. That sounds scarey but so wonderful! It took me almost eighteen months but I got the money saved up for it and it's finally a reality! Sadly though, her trip to Washinton, DC, has been cancelled. I'm going to lose almost $200 in that fucking ordeal and I'm sooooooooooooo not happy about it. I'm so angry right now that words just can not express my fury. That's a lot of money and my refund won't be here before Christmas so I can't even use that money for the holidays! DAMMIT!

This weekend we went to Fayetteville and Rogers, Arkansas to go shopping. I am sooooo happy that we went! I found TWO new shopping centers that I freakin' adore and can't wait to go back to! First we hit the Northwest Arkansas Mall in Fayetteville. Which is a traditional indoor mall. We didn't get to crawl the whole mall but we did make a nice dent! I can't wait to go back and hit the other half! The second we hit was Pinnacle Hills Promenade in Rogers. This one is an open air, outdoor mall like the Branson Landing! They have a Williams-Sonoma and a PF Chang's!!!!!! YUM!!!!!!!!

This weekend, with any luck, I may be going back to Tulsa and I want to hit Utica Square! We'll see...... the parade is Saturday night so I'm not sure if we'll make it or not.

I have more to write, more to say, more to do but unfortunately no time.

Dreaded Sounds

This morning at 3:18am, I awoke to an unfamiliar sound. My daughter woke me up with the sounds of her wretching. She had never puked in her life prior to this morning. Seriously. She gagged once, but real vomiting had never happened before. I got her cleaned up and tucked her back into bed and about 15 minutes later she was making a bee line for the toilet again. Sadly however, she missed. She vomited every 30 to 45 minutes after that until around 6:00 am when, bless her heart, she passed out from sheer exhaustion.

I had lots of stuff to do at work today too..... Clients coming in to see me. Specific people I was supposed to call back this morning. Two divorces to fine tune and finish...... None of it will be happening now though.

My baby girl needs me......

Popular Demand (and bribery)

My sister (the one who will kindly accept my kidney) has brought it to my attention that I haven't been blogging lately.

I don't have much time so I'll do some quick pictoral updating.

Here's me and my new friend Jason at the Murder Mystery. Jason was drunk, his girlfriend was with him the whole night, but we had a wonderful time despite her. LOL No, nothing happened, it was just hilarious! I love drunk people.

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Here's me and my co-workers at my boss's Halloween Party.

My wonderful sister (yes, the one who will STILL accept my kidney or other live saving, vital organ) sent me some pictures of the two Bestest Nephews Ever but for some reason Blogger isn't cooperating with me on putting their pictures up.

So, what else have I done lately?

*My kid has turned 14. Let me say that again........ f o u r t e e e e e e e e n. It just rolls off the tongue. She had a sleep over and a separate "family" party. Tons of fun, really.

*I was dragged by chaperoned 4 teens to the Right Choices Corn Maze (yeah, I'm stupid).

*Bob went hunting in the Kiamichi Mountains (no, Bigfoot did not eat him)

*I had 5 days of peace and quiet while he was gone - OK, who am I kidding, all I did was run around like a raving lunatic and HAVE FUN!!!!!!

*I was dragged by chaperoned 4 teens to yet another Coleman Mystery Tour (yeah, I'm still stupid).

*I had two Pampered Chef parties and have booked 2 more!!

I know there are lots more things I have to blog about but I'm too damned busy, maybe later though, maybe later........

No, no, no, no, no, no!!!!!!!!

The Jeep is in the shop. They're replacing rear end parts that they replaced last year.

I saw a ginormous slug this morning as I was getting into Bob's truck to come to work. Slugs, they scare the snot out of me......

My printer at work is broken and Dell is sending me a new one. It'll be here Friday but now I have to use someone else's printer to print envelopes and labels.

I just burned my lip on my coffee. Ouch.

I just found my nephew's birthday card. His birthday party was Saturday. Shit. Happy (belated) Birthday Danny, Aunt April is a ditz who doesn't know how to put a sticker on an envelope and drop it in a slot.

Bob's truck is out of gas so I get to do that during my lunch hour. Joy, thy name is April.

Miss Whineyhiney has a math project on probabilities due tomorrow. Guess who'll be hot gluing dice and cards tonight WHILE cooking dinner.

Speaking of dinner, I had a brain fart this weekend and bought a waffle maker so we're having waffles. Why did I do that? Pizza Hut delivers perfectly good pizzas, sandwiches and salads, why did I bring in such labor intensive devices into my home?

Ok, I have to go now. I have a date with destiny. Watch for my full name to be mentioned on the noon news, you know, how they say "John Wayne Gacy" or "Orenthal James Simpson".

Yeah, today may be the day I snap. LOL Why couldn't I have just had ebola or some other disease that would have kept me in bed all day?

Vacation, baby!

I'm home from Wyoming. We left Thursday, August 23rd I think. I know it was a Thursday. Bob's been sick for the past week and it's been very bad, very bad...... I can't tell you how bad. He missed work Tuesday, I thought we were going to have to go to the ER. We didn't but he missed work Tuesday, took off early Wednesday for an MRA (which I think they ended up giving him an MRI instead but we'll figure that out later) and he wasn't any better Thursday so he stayed home again. He should NOT have went on vacation but he did. He's ok now, sort of. This illness is weird, we don't know what sets it off or what helps it, it just hits, debilitates him and then as magically and mysteriously as it reared it's head it disappears.


So, here's a run down of our trip:



THURSDAY:
Bob didn't go to work again today, he was sick again so he rested and tried to sleep. Sleep is very hard for him, he can't unwind. Thankfully he was feeling not so sick by about 3:00 so I took off at 4:00 and we departed Miami at 4:30pm. I was smart and loaded the Jeep Wednesday night. This ain't my first rodeo ya know...... The drive across Kansas is nothing less than boring. Boring..... I hate Kansas (I'm from Kansas, born and raised there). We spent the night in Concordia, KS, I think. We should have driven on to York, NE, but for some reason we stopped.... Weird.


FRIDAY:
More driving...... Nebraska has little to offer in the scenery department. We stopped in Sidney at the Cabela's store. Bob was in heaven. MWH was in awe (again) at the mounted elephant they have in there, it really is cool. We all love the stuffed animals in the store, beautiful. We had lunch in the deli there at Cabela's and Bob had elk. Yummmmm. Back on the road, I got us lost near the Nebraska/Wyoming border. Ok, we weren't lost, we were on a road that was running WITH the road we wanted but at some point in time the roads split and I didn't notice. Both roads ended up at the same place but one was better and one sucked. We were on the sucky one. Bob yelled. I sighed. MWH just read her books. LOL We lost about an hour of time due to my little navigational glitch but we still got there. We crossed Wyoming in record time and arrived in Cody at 8:30 pm. What did we do when we got to Cody? Cruella and I went to Wal-Mart. Yep, I drove 1,100 miles to go to Wal-Mart. LOL Actually, their WM isn't all that bad, they've got more things than our store does and the tax is only 5% so it rocks. Tax was only 4% last year but they're putting in a pool in Meeteetse (about 25 miles south of Cody) and they raised the tax county-wide. Hmph, politicks.


SATURDAY:
We got up bright and early and headed to the main drag and for shopping! I went to the Wyoming Buffalo Company for some jerky for my office homies. LOL I got some souvenirs for myself too, I rarely ever do that...... I even got myself a beautiful sterling silver anklet at Greg and Sue's B-Dazzled... Again. Greg and Sue are friends of friends of ours (we went to a 4th of July party at their house a few years ago too so I guess they are OUR friends too and Greg resized my rings last year for free so he must really like me) and Greg just lost his leg in a motorcycle accident a few weeks ago. His son, Shawn, is watching the shop, he's a great jeweler too. I feel so bad for Greg..... he's such a sweet, sweet man.


After I bought the souvenirs, I mailed a care package to the office and we went to lunch at the Willow Fence Tea Room. Beautiful, elegant and very refined...... It's pretty much reservations only and it's off the beaten path so you've got to know about it. You don't just drive by and see it. The lady sells a million different kinds of loose tea and oh my god it's all so good! She has the best scones and devonshire cream! TO DIE FOR!!!! I wanted to bring back Butter Bells for my friends but she didn't have all the colors I wanted and I wanted a discount off the price because I was buying so many. I can get them online for less but I do like Loretta and wanted to support her but damn, I didn't want to be treated like a freakin' tourist! I didn't buy the bells there but I did find two different kinds (one marble one and one porcelain one) at Love's (a wicked cool kitchen store) and some mini crock ones at a store in Powell. I wish they had the bigger ones in Powell because they were exactly what I wanted to bring back...... but they were sold out. My luck! UGH!


SUNDAY:
Cruella & the ol' Coyote went to church so Bob and MWH and I went to town for breakfast at the quarter coffee shop (remind me not to go there again, it was ok, but not repeat worthy). We trinky dinked around town and drove out to the east gate at Yellowstone. Cody is about an hour from the park and the drive is beautiful. It's pretty much all Shoshone (translated: stinking water) National Forest and you're pretty much guaranteed to see some wild life. Sometimes black tailed deer, sometimes antelope, sometimes elk or moose and we even saw some big horn sheep once! Way kewl!!!!! We stopped at the Pahaska gift shop at the gate and looked around a bit, they have some boxer shorts that I'm seriously eyeballing.... Very funny drawers. This road goes through this town called Wapiti, I love saying Wapiti, I say it fast, three times. It cracks me up. Yeah, it doesn't take much. LOL



MONDAY:
Cruella and I headed north to Montana, big sky country. Billings, Montana, about 2 hours due north of Cody. The boys took the ATV's to Shell (about 2 hours away too but in a slightly different direction, northeast). Cruella, MWH and I hit the big city in due time. If you've never been to a Costco, it's an experience unlike any other. They are similar to Sam's Club but are a slightly cheaper on some things, their stock isn't quite as good as Sam's but they sell a few items that Sam's doesn't carry, like coffins. Yeah, when I die, could someone please run to Costco (there's one in Kansas City I think) and buy me a coffin so a particular local mortician who shall remain nameless doesn't defile me? LOL Actually, I'm totally joking, I want to be cremated.

Montana has no sales tax so people buy things in bulk. Major bulk. I kid you not I saw one family loading toilet paper and basic necessities in the back of a campered truck, when I first noticed them by there were about 7 flat bed carts full of merchandise (staple things like cereals, paper goods, two coolers, charcoal...), the man loading was deep in the bed of the truck, when I saw them again, all but one of the flat beds were empty and the man was standing outside the truck bed.


We went to Costco, Office Depot, Shopko, Target, Best Buy, Big K, Wal-Mart and I don't know where else. I did find me one super bargain I couldn't resist. I found two microSD cards for my and Bob's cell phones. Now we can download more ringtones and take more pictures and we can save them to the SD cards rather than bluetooth them. Sometimes I can't get the camera kiosk at Wal-Mart to accept the bluetooth, now I can save it to the SD card and be done with it! The cards are between $25 and $30 and I got them for $13 each! I love me a good bargain!! I loved Shopko, I wish we had one of those stores here! They are like an upscale Target, they have LEI (junior's jeans) and nicer stuff but at truly decent prices. I was impressed!! I also love, love, love the fact that Montana has no sales tax! Even Wal-Mart is OK if you don't have sales tax! LOL Actually, the Wal-Mart stores up here carry a lot of different things so it's really like a whole different store, sorta.



We got home and went to Zapatas for dinner, yummooooooooo! They have some mighty fine beans! I normally don't like beans but these were good!



TUESDAY:
We just hung around town and shopped, ah, to relax on vacation..... that's the good life!


WEDNESDAY & THURSDAY:
Wednesday night when we checked in to the Old Faithful Inn at Yellowstone, we heard someone say something about NBC's Tom Brokaw being there. Then, later, Robert and I went to the bar and this half Australian half Swiss man was cracking me up telling me (and Robert) jokes and he too said that Tom Brokaw was there at the Inn shooting footage for the Today Show. Robert and I walked around for a while looking for him but we never saw him.

We get up to leave the Inn Thursday morning, we were circling the parking lot so I could take a picture of the Inn from a distance and I said out loud "Darn it, I wish we could have seen Tom Brokaw!" and I kid you not THERE HE WAS!!!!! Not 15 feet from us!

So, big mouth me, I yell out of the window, "Hey Tom! May I take your picture?" (yeah, I asked and said "may I"). He replied back "I'd rather you not, once the cameras start for the day they never end" and he kind of sighed. I said back to him "Thank you anyway, I was just getting ready to take a picture of the Inn" and he said "Just tell all your friends we talked". There were a few other sentences of banter but that was the jist of it. He was very nice but looked like the park had kicked his butt already that morning. It was barely 8:00 am, if then, he looked rough. So, I did NOT take his picture then but as I was taking pictures of the Inn (which was truly my intent to begin with) I did get his back side. I have four other witnesses who can vouch for me, this truly is Tom Brokaw (he's got the orange parka and the tan pants). Tom looked very, very tired. He didn't have any make up on and his face was very blotchy (he had super red cheeks like me). He didn't look like he had a good night at all.

FRIDAY:
Sadly, this was our last day of Cody. Of Cruella & the ol' Coyote..... so sad.

We were on the road shortly after dawn. Yawning and gassed up, we headed south towards Colorado. The drive home was long and challenging. Colorado kicked my ass. Denver, Colorado Springs..... damn. I could write about it but I'm exhausted and it's just not going to happen. LOL

SATURDAY:
We hit home around 10:00 pm and wow were we exhausted. We drove through Dodge City and Wichita today, a very long day. I'm glad to be home.

Photoblogging

Here are some pics of me in my younger years. The red ball pic is me at about 18 months, the red vest is about age 4 and the God awful brown dress pic is about age 5, kindergarten I think.

I figured I'd post these myself rather than some tabloid in the future, you know, after I win Publisher's Clearing House or become famous for mass murder.

Yeah, don't think I haven't considered it.

Beauty Is As Beauty Does, Precious Peace, Blissful Baking, Pampered Chef Parties, Sadness Via Cell Phone and Painted Prettiness!

BEAUTY IS AS BEAUTY DOES
Miss Whineyhiney is a normal 13 year old girl who loves her hair. She has beautiful hair and I don't know where in the hell it came from. Blonde and straight with just a slight wave...... I'm so fucking jealous of her...... UGH! Anyway, Friday she got highlights and lowlights and damn it put 2 years on her. She looks so mature, so freakin' scary. Eighth grade is going to kick my ass. I know there will be boys, it's going to be a long, long year. I don't know how much highlights and lowlights normally cost because we go to the beauty college but let me tell you if it were much more expensive I'd have to sell one of my kidneys! OUCH!

PRECIOUS PEACE
Miss Whineyhiney has two best friends. One goes to her dad's house in Washinton for the summer, they stay in touch via email and cell phones. Her other best friend stays here but she is active in dance and has a different sleep schedule than MWH so they don't see each other either. She also stays in touch via email and cell phones even though she's less than a mile away. Ah, technology. Well, the Washinton girl got home last week and so this Friday night the girls got together and had their summer Girls' Night Out, their last big bash before school starts. FUN. So after the beauty shop makeover I dropped her off at her friends' house for their GNO. It does my heart good to see her happy, it's so nice that she has friends like that....

And, if my kid being happy (and gone) isn't enough, my husband went to Springfield on a little trip of his own. Yes, I was alone for an entire evening...... A L O N E Ahhhh, the words just roll off my tongue like.......like.......oh hell, there are no words.

BLISSFUL BAKING
So, no kid, no husband, what should I do? I baked. My 4th Pampered Chef party was Saturday and I was going to be demonstrating a warm chocolate cup cake recipe so I decided to make the recipe Friday evening so I wouldn't look like a complete and total idiot. It was so nice to have the house to myself, to be able to do what I wanted, when I wanted, where I wanted. To fart in peace with no one telling me to spray something........ Ah, heaven.

The cupcakes turned out beautifully and were to die for. I took some over to the girls, called a friend and had some foiled up for her and her son to take home and when Bob did get home he ate one or two (or three). They were good. Rich, chocolate, coffee and cream...... Have mercy!

PAMPERED CHEF PARTIES
Thursday I closed my third party, a catalog show, and Saturday I did my fourth show, a cooking show. I get entirely too excited about these stupid shows. I drag every Pampered Chef thing I own to them and I'm thinking that my Jeep just isn't big enough. I really do have a great time though, it's just so damned fun! I would LOVE to do it full time but I don't sell well, I just love to do it. LOL I know it's expensive, but I love the gadgets, I just do it for me and no one else. My goal is 2 shows a month and I've met my goal this month already so I guess I'm done. We'll see though...... I do have one scheduled for September and one for October already so I am booking up fast!! WOO HOO!

SADNESS VIA CELL PHONE
Mrs. Coach's precious grandma is having some major health concerns. Mrs. C has been texting me all weekend keeping me informed about her status. It ain't good people, if you believe in God, please, please pray. Pray for Grandma and pray for Mrs. C and her family. They're good people, I hate that she's feelin' pain.

PAINTED PRETTINESS
It's taken two months but my office is finally complete! Bob hung my shelf today so I could move the book case and other furniture around and I love it! WOO HOO! He finished the painting behind the book case and took down the ugly blinds so now my office is beautiful and done! I think I'll find some pretty art work and maybe a mirror or a clock for decorations but the major stuff is done! Finally! It's all mine and I love it!!!!!!

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Tomorrow starts the new week and I'm not sure this weekend was long enough. Actually I'm positive it wasn't long enough. I can't complain though because I did what I wanted to, I just wanted to do more than what I had time for. Ah, life.

Mystery Blogger suggests Joke Of The Day

A man, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to his wife, "I feel horrible, I look fat, ugly and out of shape. Pay me a compliment."

The wife replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

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Thank you Mystery Blogger, you know how to start a day off RIGHT!

Serious

Two things this weekend are blog worthy......

First, my mother, who is 51, bought a new car. A 2007 Dodge Caliber. It's white and a very nice car and I'm soooooooo proud of her because it's her first new car that she's ever owned. Her last car, a boat, a 2001 (I think) Mercury Marquis, was dying. The air conditioning went out of it and she was having all sorts of problems with it. She's been wanting something else, something that gets about 30 miles per gallon (or more) but she's just unsure of herself and didn't have the nerve to go out and do it. Well last week I took her out to the local Dodge dealer and had her drive a Caliber. She loved it. We took her to the Chevy lot and she drove an Aveo and she hated it. She really liked the feel and the looks of the Caliber and I do too. I was not prepared though for her to call me Friday night and tell me she had BOUGHT one though.

My mom is bipolar and I worry about her. She takes her meds but she still has episodes where she's manic (high) or depressed (low) and right now she's high. Manic. Her mannerisms are wild, her speech is fast, her mind is racing........ I can barely keep up with her. She's going 90 to nothing fast.

She needs sleep. She's worried about money (who isn't?) and about getting her new car tagged.

I'm worried about her being unable to take care of herself...... Why am I the responsible one? Why does it all fall on me? Why?

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On another front, Curie died. My friend, Cruella, is crushed. She loved her little kitty. It's so sad. She had a stroke while Cruella was out of town and Cruella feels so bad that Curie suffered alone. I feel bad because she feels bad...... Sucks.

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Friday started the "Back to School" tax break sales here in my neck of the woods. School supplies and clothes are exempt from State taxes. So Saturday we loaded up the Jeep and headed to Springfield, Missouri for some BTS shopping. MWH got some goodies at JC Penney's, Vanity (possibly her new favorite store), Steve & Barry's and I don't even remember where else. LOL I had to stop at Build-A-Bear because I freakin' love BABW. We shopped, we ate, we peed, we walked, we shopped........ My feet hurt, my back ached, my head throbbed....... But we did it. BTS shopping is now over and I'm done. WOO HOO!!!!!!!

Or. So. I. Thought.

Sunday morning after I cooked pancakes for breakfast and after I read my Joplin Globe and Miami News-Record papers, I took the tags off MWH's clothes to wash them only to discover that the idiot clerk at JC Penney's failed to remove one of the anti theft buttons from a pair of LEI jeans. FUCK! I tried to call Springfield's JC Penney's store but they didn't open until 11:00 so I had to wait. I don't wait well. Finally I got ahold of a live human being and here's the conversation:

CLERK: "oooooooooh, it happens all the time........ giggle, tee hee, just bring them back, we'll fix ya right up!"

ME: "But I am in Oklahoma, you're in Springfield, I don't WANT to drive 100 miles for a pair of pants........."

CLERK: "Why did you come here?"

ME: "Does it matter? Look, I just want this damn button OFF these jeans, how do I get it off? I'm NOT driving back to Springfield unless you give me gas money and something for my time, cause it's gonna take me 4 hours for the round trip!"

CLERK: "Oh, well I can offer you a $5 gift card....... um, why don't you go to Joplin's store, they can take off the button. Why didn't you just go there to begin with?"

ME: "Just mail me the damned card...."

So, Sunday, after a breakfast of champions, after enlightening myself with the local news and oodles of sale ads, and after a check up call to my mother to see if she is ok, we headed to Joplin to go back to the mall to get the jeans dealt with.

We hit the mall running....... got the jeans anti theft button removed, stopped at Vanity, Rue 21, DEB, Sears and God knows where else...... Again, I was beat! I swear I'm never going to get to rest. We headed home and went to Wal-Mart for groceries and by the time we got home it was after 4:00 and I was spent. Stick a fork in me, I am done!!

Also, on Saturday, if going to Springfield wasn't enough, we went to The Swimmin' Hole in Joplin for their late night swim. I'm too thin to swim at night anymore. I just can't do it. I froze my ass off. When I was heavier I could do it, but now that I'm not as fat (I'm still overweight, obese even, according to my BMI). I'm too cold now, all the time........ Being thinner has advantages and disadvantages, I'll take them all though, good and bad. Thinner........ That freakin' rocks!

conversations with my child

Miss Whineyhiney: Mom, can an oxymoron be a compound word?

Me (mom): Um, sure. (thinking to myself, hello, it's August, school doesn't start for 2 more weeks, WHY are you thinking about this shit?)

Miss Whineyhiney: Well, can you think of any examples?

Me: Ummmmmmm (pause) no. Why, in all that is Holy, are you thinking about this NOW?

Miss Whineyhiney: 'Cause school starts in just 14 days!!!!

Me: OOOOOOOh, how I know kid, how I know......

In addition to oxymorons (which are NOT bleached idiots) we also discussed hyperboles (which are pronounced high-per-bah-lee-s NOT high-per-bowls) and other English topics.

I can't believe my kid will be in 8th grade. Eighth grade. I can barely type it, I still can't say it out loud. She's going to be an office aid this year and she's totally freakin' excited about it too! She is going to take Pre Advanced Placement classes for math, science and English. She'll be pushing it but I think she can do it. I just know she can! I'm so damned proud of her, she's such a great kid!

Thought for the day...

Handle every situation like a canine:

If you can't eat it, play with it, or screw it,

Piss on it and walk away.

Introduce Yourself, a meme

1. Ever punch someone in the face? Yes, yes I have

2. How old are you? 35 and I'm not ashamed to admit it

3. Are you single or taken? I'm married, 17 years. Y.E.A.R.S.

4. Eat with your hands or utensils? Both, depends on what I'm eating!

5. Do you dream at night? rarely, I hate to dream, the good ones don't come true.....

6. Ever seen a corpse? Yes, but they've all been embalmed

7. Have you ever wished someone dead? Yes, who hasn't?

8. Do you like Bush, the president? He's the president, I respect him for that. I don't know him personally so I can't say whether or not I actually like him.

9. Whats your philosophy on life and death? Life..... um, well, life is what you make of it. Good, bad or indifferent. Death, it's gonna happen to all of us so why fear it? Live. Die. Go 'bout your business.

10. What do you think about Paris Hilton? She should be put on public display in some form of mid-evil torture device for the entire world to view.

11. Do you trust the police? Trust isn't the word I'd use......

12. Do you like country music? Yeah, it's ok

13. What is your fondest memory of a birthday? I don't really remember birthdays...... obviously none were worth remembering.

14. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be? I'd be filthy rich.

15. Would you be a willing participant in an "Indecent Proposal"? For a million bucks? Sure!

16. What do you wear to sleep? A t-shirt and 'jama bottoms, usually fleece 'cause they're warm......

17. Have you ever peed in a pool? Yes and if you say no I know you're LYING!

18. Would you hide evidence for me if your best friend asked you to? In a heartbeat!

19. If you only had one day to live, what would you want to do? Fly to NY City with my kid and see the sights!

20. What is your favorite thing about work? The paycheck!

21. Do you think you are attractive? Um, no.......

22. What's your favorite color? Purple

23. If you could bring back anyone that has passed, who would it be? JFK

24. Tell me one interesting/odd fact about you? I can bend my fingers in a weird way.

25. Would you ever participate in a reality type of TV show like Survivor or American Idol? Not on your life!

Weeeeeeekend bliss

First off, I gotta shout to the world that MY BABY IS HOME!!!!!!

She spent a week at Girl Scout camp doing the CAP thing (working) and loving it. She could live at camp, any camp, if we'd let her and honestly I'd probably let her but I'd miss her too much.

Bob and I spent the week at home. Alone. It was a typical week for the two of us. Those of you who know us know exactly what we did all week, those of you who don't know Bob, well, it wasn't pretty, I won't bore you with the details.

There isn't much to blog about for the week other than I've had a bitch of a fucking headache since the whole tick/stomach virus weekend. Mrs. Coach seems to think I had (and may still have) botulism. Yeah, lovely. How fucking exciting is it to be me?????

So, Saturday was my first Pampered Chef show. I had it at my friend Tess's house. She's wonderful, simply wonderful. There were over 20 people there and we had a fabulous time! I handled the questions like a pro and made a few new friends. A lot of the girls there were also WLS patients that I know online and now I can put a face with a name (or an email address). It's so nice to be able to do that!! The show was a smashing success, we did over $600 in commissionable sales. Most excellent! No one scheduled any parties off Tess's show but there are several ladies who did want to but they needed to get back with me later on dates, that is fine with me! I demonstrated a chicken enchillada ring, which was totally new to me, and it turned out soooooooooo amazingly good. I swear I'm a natural cook! LOL Ok, I'm an idiot who can follow a recipe but still it was spectacular!

After the party we sat in the hot tub and talked and relaxed. I freakin' loved it, I gotta get me one of those........

Sunday Bob and I went to pick up MWH and that was glorious. I don't know what I'll do without that kid....... she can't grow up. I just don't know what I'll do when she turns 18 and becomes independent. She's 13 and I know it's coming. I've tried to get her to start smoking, I've heard it stunts growth, but she's too damned smart.

She got the new Harry Potter book too and she was in H.E.A.V.E.N. Absolute heaven. She has been reading it slowly...... very slowly. Savoring every page. I haven't read anything past the second book so I'm way behind but oh well, that's life.

I did find a new author I've been reading, Mary Kay Andrews, and she's a riot. Very witty and an excellent source of simple chick lit. I love fluff. I don't want to think when I read. I won't be reading any Stephen King or John Grisham anytime soon........ I guarantee you of that. Jodi Picoult, Mary Kay Andrews, Billie Letts, those are my kind of authors.

I hope you all are enjoying the new "joke of the day" posts. I'll try to keep them up as long as people keep sending them to me.

Little Joe and the mortgage

For his birthday, little Joe asked for a 10-speed bicycle.

His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw little Joe heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"

Little Joe told him; "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage & no bike.

Poor Baby....

Minutes after a woman gave birth to her baby, her doctor stood solemnly at her bedside and said: "I have something I must tell you about your baby."

"What's wrong?," the alarmed mother asked.

"Your baby is a hermaphrodite."

"What's that?"

"It means your baby has both male and female parts."

"Oh, my goodness, that's wonderful!," the woman exclaimed. "You mean it has a penis and a brain? That doesn't happen often, does it?!"

High School Musical

Ok, stole this from Mrs. Coach who I'm sure stole it from someone else who got it from someone else. You know how it works. It's a meme, should be pronounced me-me because it's well, all about me but however you say, here it is:

1. Who was your best friend? Hmmmmm, which school do I want to meme about? I went to two. In Baxter, it was Terra, always Terra. I ran with a lot of different crowds, Darren, Brad, Heather, Laura, Pebble, AnnMarie........ But my true friend was always Terra. Her dad was an alcoholic, my dad was (and still is) a sorry son of a bitch mother fucker, so we never spent the night at each other's houses and we really didn't run around with each other much outside of school, but we were buds and we still are to this day. In Quapaw, I didn't really have a "best" friend, just lots of different people. I was with Tish when I met Randy and his crew, I liked Angie a lot but her boyfriend frowned on her having any friends other than him so it was hard to be friends with her.

2. What sports did you play? Um, does quarters count? I rocked at quarters....... yeah, rocked.

3. What kind of car did you drive? My first car was a 1975 Chevy Monte Carlo, it was awesome, you didn't need a key, it idled at 15 to 20 miles per hour and could climb hills. It died and I had a 1982 Chevy Impala (totally hated it), a 1969 Dodge Coronet and then a 1978 Datsun B210. I loved the Datsun. LOVED!!!!!! It was a total piece of shit but it got great gas mileage (I know you remember getting 78 cents of gas and it actually got you somewhere!!) and I could scratch in any gear.

4. It's Friday Night, where were you? At a football game or in Miami draggin' Main. Sometimes both. Always, though, always, I was having a great time and I pretty much always had alcohol.

5. Were you a party animal? Yep, been there, done that.

6. Were you considered a flirt? No, I wasn't. I was the girl you told your girlfriend that you were going out and I was always the "reason" for the break up but in reality it wasn't true. I was the one who had the condoms or would make the rubber run but I just didn't want to be involved with anyone. I had my crushes and they were safe and right there and I just kept my distance......

7. Were you in band, orchestra or choir? At Baxter I wasn't in anything, at Quapaw I was in band. I always wanted to play the sax...... ah, the smooth sound....... thanks for those memories Brad....... but I didn't have the money to play an instrument. At Quapaw though I was in the band, I played cymbals *hence the nickname of Clash* and the bass drum. I was usually the only sober person at parades so I'd be the one carrying the big bass drum around.

8. Were you a nerd? Nope. Not. One. Bit.

9. Did you get expelled or suspended? Yeah, does that matter? Why do you think I went to two different high schools?

10. Can you sing the fight song? Sing it, ummmm I don't recall ever having one at either school!

11. Who was your favorite teacher? In Baxter it was probably Mr. Dillon, he just knew things...... Maybe Mrs. Binns too, she was amazingly narcoleptic (sp?). At Quapaw, I liked our science teacher, something Mrs. B..... Barrett maybe....... damn, my brain hurts. I liked Mrs. Rhodes (shhhh, don't tell anyone, she was a real bitch). Oh and I ADORED Mrs. Chrisman, she freakin' rocked!

12. What was your school mascot? Baxter Lions (red and white) and Quapaw Wildcats (green and white)

13. Did you go to the prom? My freshman or sophmore year I went to Riverton's prom, big freakin' nightmare. My Junior year I went to Miami and Quapaw and then my Senior year I didn't get invited. Looooooong story.

14. If you could go back and do it over again would you? Yeah, I would. In a New York minute.

15. What do you remember most about graduation? Wearing heels and worrying about tripping over the electrical cords. How fucking hot it was. How they refused to move me to the "C" section rather than keep me in the "R" section, dammit, I was married now!

16. Where were you on Senior Skip day? Um, skipping........ I skipped a lot. I actually skipped my entire second semester my senior year so every day was Senior Skip day to me!

17. Did you have a job Senior year? I worked at McD's but I cut my hand (at home, not at work) and I couldn't work for a while so I quit. Then after Christmas I did work because I was out of school and it was expected of me.... damn reality of life.

18. Where did you go most for lunch? The Quapaw Express or Dallas' Dairyette. Yumooooooo!

19. Have you gained weight since then? Gained and lost. I'm about 10 pounds heavier than I was when I left Baxter.

20. What did you do after graduation? Went home and got drunk, I was married and could do whatever I wanted to. Sort of. LOL

21. When did you graduate? May of 1990, I don't remember the date.

22. Who was your Senior prom date? I didn't go. I didn't get invited. I don't wanna talk about it.

23. Are you going/did you go to your 10th reunion? Didn't go, didn't have one.

24. Who was your homeroom teacher? We didn't have homeroom, there were only 40 or so of us at Quapaw, if you weren't there everyone already knew it and why. LOL

25. Who will repost this? YOU! Go ahead, just do it!

Not dead

Damn near wish I were though.

Life's shit.

Wish I could enter the witness protection agency or something, start fresh.

I need a vacation.

I need a break from reality.

I need something.

Panic attacks are happening again, can't make the pong stop.

Work is the only thing keeping me sane.

Friday

It's Friday and I wish I could tell you I'm better but I'm not.

I'm still

*weak
*tired
*sore
*achey
*suffering from a headache
*miserable

and 14 other things that I don't feel like writing right now.

I am at work though, have been since Thursday (yesterday) and will be again Monday as long as the blood remains inside my body.

Bob and MWH are both fine, this must not be contageous 'cause they ain't got it. I wonder if I did get tick bit. How? Where? Will I die? Soon?

Last night, I should have gone to bed immediately after work but I didn't. I took my precious, wonderful teen child to see the new Harry Potter movie. Yeah, stupid. My body ached and I froze during the whole movie. A kid, nay, a hell spawn in the form on a blonde toddler, was tormenting me the entire movie. I caught myself no less than 3 times licking my fingers hoping to touch the little demon brat in hopes that he or she (I have no idea, damn shape shifting children) would become violently ill from this mystery illness I have been subjected to. My plan didn't work, the damn little monster never got close enough........

I will be sleeping all weekend though. Check back Monday to see if I'm dead or not.

tick born illness, virus or what?

Last Wednesday, the 4th of July, we went to the Woods house for some good old fashioned beer drinkin', weiner roastin', beer drinkin', story tellin, beer drinkin', swimmin', beer drinkin' and fire work shootin'. And, oh, I nearly forgot. Did I mention beer? I personally am not a beer person, but you give me a Parrot Bay drink and blink it'll be in. my. belly. Out of about 50 people there, only two of us had to work the next day, me and the host. He was drunk before sunset, I was sippin' on my libations all night, wanting to keep my composure.

The kids swam and swatted skeeters, the adults discussed floods and insurance companies, the women discussed and devoured the Pampered Chef guacamole dip and the guys shot fireworks with their bare hands. Yeah, we're married to grown men who have no common sense. One of the women there though is a labor and delivery nurse so she could have probably stopped the bleeding if they'd actually done any damage. LOL

I did have a great time, so glad to have good friends.

Thursday though, I could tell something was wrong. My head hurt. I'd only had two and a half drinks and I didn't get drunk so I knew it wasn't a hang over. My stomach also hurt. I blew it off, figured it was just the alcohol and the late night and the guacamole. Friday it was worse. We had plans with the Woods crew again for the post holiday weekend so I took off work early Friday. Nothing was going to stop me from having fun. Or so I thought.

Friday night I tried to put up the tent with Bob, I couldn't do it. I tried to stand erect, I couldn't do that either. I went to bed. I sweated, I froze, I shivered, I swear I died at least twice. The boys shot fireworks just feet from my head and I did nothing. Saturday morning I woke up and took two steps from the bed and a putrid, green slime slid down my leg and pooled around my foot. I froze. It. Came. From. Me.

I won't disgust you with more details here but I did get cleaned up and back to camp. I tried to lay down again but I was offered to sleep in a friends' air conditioned camper so I took them up on it. I slept the whole day away. Bob made me get up around 8pm or so and I did get up but not for long. I went back to our tent shortly to go back to bed. More fireworks, more head ache, more misery and agony for me...... At midnight I woke up again and, let me tell you without going into specific details, I had to go home. We were over an hour from home, I totally didn't want to ruin everyone's weekend, there was no time to break down the tent and all though.

We made it home and I think I showered again and went to bed. I know I was freezing cold and shaking by the time I got into bed. I didn't get out of bed Sunday other than bathroom runs. Saturday I ate about a third of a container of sugar free jello, Sunday I ate some unsalted saltines. Monday I went to the AM clinic and got nowhere. It might be a virus, it might be a tick bite (no tick bites on me though that we can find). My upper abdomen still hurts, my head still hurts and I'm still uber tired. I do have my voice back though.

I'm off work until at least Thursday per the doc, my bed is killing me and my guilt for missing work is immense. Calgon, take me away!!!!!!

Flood

I don't have time to go into major details here but all is good.

The Clarks (that's my lil family here) are all high and dry. No, we're not coke'd up and in clean Pampers but we are out of the path of the flood. Not. By. Much.

I believe it was less than 1 full block away at it's highest point. I refused to go down there to actually look at it.

Other than the flood damage we also have mosquitos from hell, demon mosquitos that mean fucking business. Miss Whineyhiney has 15 bites on her ankles alone and she hasn't been anywhere near the flood. And, if mutant mosquitos weren't enough, the smell is enough to make a mortician gag. Literally. Bring on the dead bodies, I'd much rather smell that..... The mushroom farm ain't got nothin' on the Neosho river when it overflows it's banks.

Here's a pic I took with my KRZR of Okie Burger, which is on G Street and Steve Owens. It's in water but not too bad. I'm not sure if OB was flooded in '86 or not but it was this time.

blah, blah, blah

What do I have to talk about tonight? Hmmmm, let me think.

Miss Whineyhiney is at Girl Scout camp. She's in the While You Were Out unit and they are doing a makeover in the Camp Director's private quarters. MWH was very excited when we dropped her off. She even gets to go again as a CAP. When she read the CAP paperwork, it talked about her duties and how she was going to get to ride on the back of the trailer and deliver the other campers' luggage. That is soooooo kewl if you ask her.

Mrs. Coach called me last night with some SUPER FANTASTIC NEWS. I don't want to give it away because she has her own blog to brag on but let me tell you it's GREAT! WOO HOO!

I have booked my first Pampered Chef party. I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm scared..... I've got tons of emotions running through me. I hope I can do this, I really hope I can do this. If you wanna check out my site, here's the link.

Last weekend we went camping at Elk River Floats and had a blast!!!!!! We made some new friends, drank a ton or two of beer and got some sun to boot! I didn't even get burned! That's sweeeeeeeet!!!!! We've even got plans to go back in a few weeks!

Work is crazy. C.R.A.Z.Y. I've moved to the back to be a legal secretary. They've hired a new receptionist to take my old job and so I'm running back and forth trying to help and train her. I'm trying to set up my desk and get my system going. I've also got a wicked, killer, totally kick ass, brand spankin' new Dell computer with a truly amazing 22" flat screen monitor that I'm soooooooo insanely in love with. My printer is one of those all in one jobs too but I haven't got it figured out yet. Yesterday I was looking everywhere for the Adobe program 'cause I like Adobe but I couldn't find it and in desperation I said (loudly) to the new girl as she walked past my office "I'd give BOTH my nipples for a copy of Adobe" and unbeknownst to me there was another attorney out in the lobby who heard me and laughed so hard hair almost grew from his bald head. Yeah, really, it was hilarious.

This weekend we're supposed to have yet another garage sale. I don't know if it will happen or not because of the weather, but I sure hope it does happen. If it doesn't happen, I may drown in the mountains of clothing stored in my shed. Thank GOD that it's been cool lately because I'm seriously concerned about my shed spontaneously combusting due to the crap we've got in there stored for the garage sale. LOL

Saturday evening I've got a birthday party to go to. A friend's foster kiddo is turning 1 and we're all going to hoooooooop and holler and help her blow out her candle. She's such a sweet baby, it'll be lots of fun!

My own precious teenaged (baby) comes home Friday night and I'm so ready for her to be here. I miss her so much........

My meds are kickin' in and I can barely keep my eyes open, I'm outta here.

Mystery Blogger

Several of my friends have told me stories lately that are sooooooooo blog worthy but they either are NON bloggers, don't know how to do the private blogging in MySpace or are afraid to put them on their own blog for fear of public humiliation.

Here is the first of, I hope, many mystery blog posts:

Mystery Blog Post

Welcome to Aprils blog, today your post comes to you from a guest Mystery blogger. I can’t post on my own site because my dear readers would be appalled and shocked and more importantly they would blab it all over the place. I figure since April doesn’t live anywhere near me, I would post on her site hoping that my readers aren’t her readers.

Several weeks ago I met this guy that I cannot get out of my head. The chemistry is there, you can almost feel it in the air. It’s electrifying and it frankly scares the hell out of me. Under different circumstances (like oh say, if I wasn’t married) it would be one of those hot Harlequin romance novel plots. The tall, dark and handsome guy sweeps the heroine off her feet and steals her away in the darkness. (Pardon me a moment while I get my blood pressure back under control). The curse or the cure of the whole thing is that he lives a few hours away and our paths don’t cross very often. I’m sure it will wear off in time but for now it’s all consuming. Emails and phone calls between are the only link we’ve got right now. There’s been no sex but it still feels wrong. Yet oh so right. I’m pathetic, I know it.

I know I’m playing with fire, I’m usually the first one to make snarky comments about others who mess around. In fact I made one today and then stopped to think about what I was saying, nothing like throwing stones in glass houses……

This “thing” is so totally out of my character it scares me. I love my child(ren) and my husband. He drives me freaking insane but it’s because I let him, I cater to his every need and want. Is it just the thrill of the chase I’m enjoying? Maybe it’s the extra attention, someone who finds me attractive and tells me about it? Could it be that I’ve hit the age that I could use a little reinforcement and I’m just latching onto whatever I can get? A wise friend asked me to think about whether it was worth losing my family over, the answer is no. I know the answer in my heart, it’s just my damned head that can’t figure it out. I’m so confused. I want to stop it and move on one minute and the other minute I’m thinking of how I can talk to him, see him, hear him laugh, watch him move. I just figured once he was out of the picture for a couple of days my life would be back to normal and I’d forget all about him. I’m still waiting.

The one good thing to come of this: the guilt sex is amazing! Much better than makeup sex. Heck, the husband may encourage it if he knew it was what was getting him so happy! Nah, I don’t think I can justify it like that either, but it was worth a shot to think of it like that.

Please don’t rip me a new one, I know I’m making a mistake. I also know it won’t go any further than it already has. I just have to get it out of my system and move on. I’ll keep you updated. Thanks for letting me butt in at butfirst….

So, if you, or someone you know, has a story they'd like to share with the free world but are unable for whatever reason to put it on their own blog then please feel free to email me at aproka@sbcglobal.net.

Friends

At what point do you let a friend go?

What is the pivotal point where you just don't bother with them anymore?

I love her dearly, but she's just not the same person anymore. Maybe it's me, maybe I'm not the same person anymore. She doesn't return my phone calls, doesn't remember things she tells me (or thinks she's told me things when she hasn't), only comes over if she wants/needs something.... I could go on. When do I decide that I've had enough? Is it wrong of me to want more from her?

She didn't even come over to see my new curtains until I practically cornered her...... so sad.

***********************************

My new friend, Dr. T, is simply amazing. I simply can't say enough great things about her. She's wicked smart about damn near everything. She knows pretty much everything there is to know about medicine, she has insight and amazing skills and she's just hilarious to be around. I swear she gets me like no one else.

I'm truly lucky to know her, to call her friend.

***********************************

Another of my friends, who shall remain anonymous, is turning into a a high class trollop. She's desperately horny and her little rabbit friend just isn't enough. Granted, it's gotta be hard being single and horny, but gimme a break! LOL She's been doing the internet dating thing and bless her heart she's meeting men and getting out there. I'm so proud of her that she's trying. I wish I had her drive and motivation. She wants a man for sex but not much of anything else. The guys she's been dating are in shock that she really only wants sex. Sex her up and find the door, really, get the fuck out. Her stories are hilarious, her escapades are to die for and her friendship is simply divine!

**********************************

Here's another question for you...... What kind of friend gives a creditor your cell phone number and defaults on a loan? Helloooooooo, don't they realize that the creditor is going to call you to get you to try to get your friend to pay their bills? I was speechless, I was waiting for Punk'd to knock on my door during the entire call!

Alrighty, I've bitched, I've whined, I've vented and now I'm outta here. I sure hope I have friends left tomorrow. LOL

call me Grace

It seems like Sundays are the only time I can get to blog. Sucks, but true.

On Monday, my new cell phone came in. I got a Motorola KRZR and it's AWESOME!!!!!!! I love it, there are so many new features I don't know how I'll ever learn them all but they are way kewl! I'd link it but I'm too lazy right now. LOL

After work I went to Tulsa to my support group meeting. We had a trade show and I helped Dr. T with her products. I earned enough dough to buy myself one of those really sharp looking medical alert ID bracelets. It's custom designed, custom fit to my wrist, sterling silver and very pretty. I am so glad I was able to afford it! I'll be sure to post a pic once I get it next month.

Tuesday I should have gone to Joplin to see my favorite sister (ok, she's the only one who knows I'm alive, but I'll take it) but due to the freak flooding in Joplin and the rain that was coming down we decided to pass the visit to her next trip in August. I sure do miss her though, those boys (MY NEPHEWS!!!!!!!) too. Oh well, that's life. Sucks though. Since I didn't go see her, I decided to wade through the rest of my Pampered Chef stuff that came in and wow, that stuff is fun to play with! I had 7 boxes come in between Friday and Tuesday it was like Christmas!!!!!! Tuesday night I unloaded and separated orders and put MY stuff away. I had empty boxes coming out of my ears and the trash was full so I decided to load the empties in Bob's truck and take them to a dumpster downtown. Unfortunately I shouldn't be allowed to walk and breathe at the same time and I literally fell, head first, off my back porch. My head missed the front bumper of the truck by inches. I scraped up and bruised my right knee, left knee, shin and ankle and my left forearm and batwing (the jiggly part under the arm). I look like I've been dragged through hell.

Bob panicked and MWH just stared. I just knew my ankle was broken but I hopped right up, dusted the grass and dirt off and climbed up the stairs back into the house. I had to be strong. Bob was wiggin' out on me. LOL

I sat around for a while so the blood could clot. Took a bath to soak and clean the wounds. Drove the truck to town and hauled off the empty boxes and the trash. I was so stupid. LOL When I went to bed I was in so much pain it wasn't funny. I woke up around 1:00 am and was freezing cold and shaking I was hurting so bad. I took a pain pill and that didn't help. I was up all night. Miserable.

Wednesday and Thursday everyone was amazed that I came to work and was walking on it. My ankle looked horrible. It was 3 times the size it should have been, HUGE!!!!! Thursday my left foot turned black all the way around the heel and along the long part of my foot. Everyone kept telling me it was broken but I just kept saying that I didn't think so, I could walk on it and it didn't hurt more than just a simple sprain.

Friday morning I had to take MWH to the doctor to get her camp physical so I let the physician's assistant who I keep saying I won't go back to look at it and he, of course, ordered x-rays.

The x-ray tech moved my leg and foot, poked and proded and I wanted to bitch slap her 'cause she was just being a total bitch. We got the films and took them back down to the PA and he decided that it wasn't broken.

Hellooooooo, I've been saying that all along! Only now I'm $75 poorer and the sympathy train I had planned on riding out for the weekend has totally derailed! UGH! I'm still in pain, still limping, still swollen and STILL being called "Trip". Yeah, life sucks sometimes. LOL I also got a tetanus shot and it's been well over 48 hours now and my arm still fucking hurts like hell.

Saturday we went to Joplin and I faced one of my many fears. Shoe Carnival. I hate clowns (and birds) and that place is just NOT one of the chosen stores I consider shopping at a lot but I heard they were having a big sale and money trumps all so I went in. Granted, I was on high alert for the red nosed fuckers but I didn't see any so it was worth it! I got a pair of Sketchers for $17.50 and fully consider the trip to have been worth it! I love pure white shoes, no color, and I couldn't believe my eyes when I found a pair on sale! They're even the little petite kind that I wanted, I'm so happy! WOO HOO! We went to Sears, Bath & Body Works, Old Navy, Rue 21 and a few other stores while there. We had lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings and I wasn't impressed. One place I don't care to go back to....... Then we went to Acadamy where MWH got a new snorkel and mask, my water baby loves her pool toys.

Today is Father's Day and we don't have any plans. Bob is NOT my father so I'm not doing anything for him. I did call my adopted dad, the ol' Cody Coyote, to tell him Happy Father's Day. I think I surprised him. LOL

If you are a dad and are reading this, HAPPY DAD'S DAY TO YOU!!!!!!

Sooooooo much of life

It's Sunday night and I don't have Desperate Housewives or Brothers and Sisters to watch. I don't have any DVD's waiting to be viewed before I take them back. And there are no urgent things in my life so I find myself here, blogging.

Last weekend was in-fucking-tense.

Saturday I had a Pampered Chef party and even though my house wasn't dirty it wasn't clean. Bob took Miss Whineyhiney to Silver Dollar City at first light and I sat there, alone, in an empty house....... grinning ear to ear like the Cheshire cat.

I had made plans with my mom to come over and help me finish the cleaning. We bleached, we mopped, we folded, we vacuumed (with the Rainbow) and we crashed. I went to Wal-Mart for groceries for the recipe I had chosen, Spicy Shrimp Ceviche Cups, and for paper goods and what not for the party. Oh my gawd was I excited!! The last party I had thrown, a House of Lloyd party, had not turned out well and I was seriously doubting my sanity. (Seriously, the last party I had, the consultant FORGOT about me and she even called me the night before to remind me! UGH! So I sat there with a house full of people ready to buy shit and no seller..... oh yeah, a real fucking nightmare!!) Mom and I had the house cleaned and candles burning and oh it smelled yummy. The air conditioner was going so the house was almost too cold. I had my new trifle bowl on the table with ice in it (very creative if you ask me). I had cookies and cheese its, sodas and tea. I was ready. My table cloth was coordinated to match my cups, plates and napkins. I was ready! The consultant showed up at 4:00 as promised and things went well, very well. I had room for everyone who showed and I think we had a great time! I had one come late, two leave early and everyone else just stayed and had a few laughs, some good ceviche cups and a few laughs. I really was surprised. For a small party I don't think I did too bad, I had nearly $600 in sales and to me, that was awesome! I've even decided to become a Pampered Chef consultant. Yeah, I know, that is a big step, but hey, I might like it and if I don't I'll still have some really cool cooking gadgets that are all mine to play with!

I really liked my ceviche recipe, I can see me making those with other fillings. Very yummy, the pan is in the consultant kit that should be here Monday. Sweeeet.

After the party my new friend Dr. T invited me to go to the Stables with her. I'd been cleaning all day and really needed to get out so I decided to take her up on it. We had barely sat down and T hit $1,500.00 on a quarter machine. I nearly fell out of my chair I was so excited for her! She decided that we needed to celebrate so we headed to the bar and well, that's where my night gets a bit blurry. I had 2 glasses of wine and got completely drunk. I hadn't eaten dinner and that is a bad thing for someone like me. LOL

We'd only been at the casino for about 45 minutes when we decided to leave but Bob and MWH were home and I was drunk and it was not a warm homecoming. LOL Bob had never (in 17 years of marriage) seen me that drunk. I went straight to bed, I didn't give a rats ass about himor anything else. I had such a fantastic day and NOTHING was going to get me down. I woke up Sunday morning with a hang over. I hadn't had a hang over since I was about 15 or so, that is a weird feeling.

Bob wasn't too upset with me Sunday and considering we had a kitchen window to replace and he wanted my help he was pretty darn nice to me. LOL

It took forever, but he (we) got it in and it looks great. I even made curtains for it Tuesday (see previous post) and they still look great if you ask me!

The week at work went well. Busy, busy busy. I'm getting a new job soon and I'm terribly nervous. I'm going from the front reception desk to a desk in the back. I'll be a legal secretary again and I'm nervous and excited about it. I've been with this firm for a year this month and wow has time flown by!!!!!

Friday after work I went to babysit for a friend of mine. She fosters kids and the baby she has now is absolutely adorable. She is a chunk and giggles a lot. She's so spoiled but she's starting to get used to me....... finally.

We had made plans to go camping this weekend and it was after 9:00 before I met up with Bob and MWH at the dam. I'm so lucky, they got there early and set up the tent and it was all good to go. Sweet.

We woke up early Saturday morning to the sound of birds calling and other nature sounds, it was so refreshing. I slept so well Friday night. Bob had a nice fire going so I cooked catastrophe on the open fire in my cast iron dutch oven. It was amazing. I didn't burn it and everything tasted so yummy. After breakfast we all donned on our safety gear and loaded onto the ATV's and headed out to the wild blue yonder. The dam was still wet and muddy and we slid around like nobody's business. I ruined my Nikes (ok, I deliberately wore them so I would get them dirty and have an excuse to buy new shoes) in the mud and I giggled like an idiot when Bob slid around in the loose mud going up hill. We truly had a great morning. We headed back in to town to get some lunch and to buy some meat for dinner. We ate lunch at this little Mexican place and I had the best carne asada sandwich. I couldn't tell you the name of what I had but it was soooooooo yummy. Bob had crispy tacos and MWH had soft tacos, we all decided that place was definitely one to go back to! We bought cheesey hot dogs for dinner and headed back to camp to put our groceries in the cooler and change into our swim suits. We drove by Little Blue but it looked crowded so we headed over to the state park to swim. Holy shit the water was cold. Nipple hardening cold. It took me forever to wade out to where the water was up to my neck, I kept moving around for warm spots, obviously Bob wasn't peeing enough. LOL

We swam for about an hour and the beach seemed to triple with beachcomers so we headed back to camp to clean up. Our camp has hot showers and man that felt good!!!!! We cooked hot dogs and sat around the camp fire and read. Bob and MWH went for a ride and I read some more. I went and laid down in the tent and read until I fell asleep. It was heaven, pure heaven. They came back and we all went for another ride. The sky was blue, the air was cool and the wind was blowing perfectly. Every now and then though we'd see a bolt of lightening off in the distance....... giving us a hint of what was to come. We ignored the threats and rode on. I was riding with Bob and MWH was riding alone and grinning from ear to ear. A perfect day. We got to the end of our path and headed back and it started sprinkling. We were riding in the rain, smiling, enjoying the cool breezes and boom, it started pouring. I hopped off our ATV and got on with MWH while Bob raced back to camp to close the flaps on our tent. MWH and I rode back in the pouring rain and she was so happy. She just couldn't get enough. Bob came back and met up with us and we all rode in to camp together, parked the ATV's and hopped into the dry Jeep to towel off and laugh like hyenas!!!!!!!! That was sooooooooo much fun!

We went into town and had ice cream at Sonic and waited for the storm to blow over. It took about an hour but it did. The rain didn't get inside the tent and our beds were dry so we went to bed and had a good nights sleep (ok, maybe not Bob, but I sure as hell did). I'd had a great day, lots of good food, a great book, fresh air, a nice ride and my kid grinning from ear to ear on that last ride...... perfect.

Sunday we packed up and headed home. We were home and unpacked by 10:00 and Bob took a nap and I read my Sunday papers. Ah, heaven. I sorted through the first 3 boxes of my Pampered Chef orders and got them ready for delivery. MWH and I did loads and loads of laundry. And I fondled over items I should have bought but ran out of money before I could. LOL

The afternoon was also good, a typical Sunday Wal-Mart run for groceries followed by relaxation. We even decided to go to an afternoon movie. MWH saw Surf's Up while Bob and I saw Knocked Up.

It sounds like the storm is getting stronger, I think I'm going to get off here for now but I will be back, it may be a few days but I'll be back........

I am sew not scared

I do promise a weekend update later, right now though I have to BRAG!

Bob put in my kitchen window this weekend (major story behind that). I didn't want to put up another mini blind so I measured and headed to, where else, Wal-Mart in search of a kitchen curtain to suit my eclectic taste. I found a lovely ivy tier set that was affordable and bought it but the panel was too long, way too long. I didn't really want to sew it to fit so I decided that if I was going to have to sew anything I was going to sew what I wanted so I went BACK to Wal-Mart in search of ......

brace yourself......

fabric.

Yes. I vowed to make curtains.

To sew.

No, crack was not involved.

I purchased fabric. I purchased thread. I broke out in a sweat. I second guessed myself. I questioned my sanity. I pinched myself repeatedly to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

The patern I chose was a lovely green based polka dotted patern with bright white daisy's with little yellow centers. There's a wide border at the base that says "All Things Grow With Love".

Still, no crack.

I measured, I pondered, I sweat some more. And yes, I cut.

I cut into the fabric with vigor and enthusiasm.

I prepared my sewing machine and ironing board. I wound a new bobbin and tested it. It was wound wrong so I had to start again..... ugh. The second time was the charm and my stitches looked great and pretty much, to my surprise, were straight! I sewed with passion and determination. I sewed and ironed and made it look good. I got the bottom and the top of my first panel just perfectly. I was so proud. Ah, I was so stupid. You gotta do the sides first......

Ok, my second panel though turned out fabulously. I did the sides first and then the bottom. I went onto the second panel before I finished the top of the first panel and I swear I looked like I knew what I was doing yet I did not! I amazed myself with my wisdom!!!!! There's nothing I can't do if I just try!

So, now my curtains are done and I'm so proud! Here are some pics, I'm truly tickled with how well they turned out!

quickly

I had to go to the courthouse this morning for work.

My "job" was to go to the 3rd floor and find a judge and to file some papers. It was at the same time as the arraignments so it was full of people who are "innocent until proven guilty" and let me tell you it was FULL. Standing. Room. Only.

So, I run around and get my papers signed and filed and I go to leave and as I'm leaving a man taps me on the shoulder. I turned around and he said he'd followed me down from the 3rd floor and wanted to ask me out for a cup of coffee.

I smiled at the man and kindly said no. First, I work for a law firm and I know that the only people her at the courthouse at this time are people who are being arraigned and unless you've got a bar card it probably wasn't going to happen. Second, my husband of 17 years frowns on me dating. And, third, Jimmy, I've known you since I was 12. You're my cousin's cousin.

All he could say was shit.

I love being thinner, no one recognizes me anymore.

Oy vey, I'm alive!

Goooooooood grief it's been too long since I've had the time to blog.

In the past few weeks I've been runnink amok. Amok. Amok. Amok.

I've presided over my last PTSO meeting of the school year. I've had my nails done. Twice. I've had my toes done. I've coordinated an 8th grade graduation. I've emcee'd an awards ceremony. I've had a yard sale. I've drank. I've used my garage sale proceeds to purchase a tank of gas in both Bob's truck and my Jeep as well as a fine, greasy dinner from Long John Silvers. I've seen Shrek the Third or whatever it is. I've seen my beautiful, amazing child mature from a 7th grader into an 8th grader. I've developed not one but two zits on my face. I've been mosquito bit 7 times. I've even received a promotion of some sorts at work.

This is just the tip of the ice berg. I know there is more. Lots more.

Let me think....... nah, I don't wanna.

This weekend was my garage sale. I had so much shit it was amazing. I sold clothes like you would not believe. My God was I fat. I put on a pair of my old shorts. Shorts that were tight on me. And I nearly fell over getting them off! My kid climbed in with me too and they were still too big! It was hilarious!

Looking back it's hard to remember being that big. I still feel like I'm there but I know I'm not. I can cross my legs. I can sit in a theater seat. I don't need a seat belt extender for my vehicles (or airplanes or whatever). I can ride a rollercoaster. I can walk around a theme park and enjoy myself. I can buy clothes in the misses section. I can do so much now that I thought I could do before but I was only fooling myself. I was half assing so much while, in reality, I was double assing it. So sad....... I was so sad.

This weekend I'm having a Pampered Chef party. I'm nervous and excited. Anxious and eager. Ok, I'm a total wreck. The last party I had totally sucked. The consultant lady freakin' FORGOT about my party and had to reschedule it! I had a house full of people who I had bribed with fancy little finger foods and alcohol and she forgets about me. That is just wrong. I do think this will be fun though, lots of fun!!!!!!!

I've spent a lot of time watching movies lately. Here's what I can remember off the top of my head:

Shrek III - not as good as the first 2 but Mike Myers rocks and you simply have to see it. HAVE TO. The babies don't come in until the end and that depressed me but I loved the dragon/donkey babies. So freakin' adorable. The princesses cracked me up, very funny.

Music & Lyrics - excellent, very sweet and romantic. I loved it. Drew Barrymore is just the perfect romantic lead. She owned that part. I loved Hugh Grant too. He's dopey yet adorable. Classic yet quirky. Definitely gotta watch it again.

Catch & Release - This movie was one I really wanted to see. I thought it was a romantic comedy and it was sort of. The male lead, Timothy Olyphant, was Seth Bullock in Deadwood and let me tell you he was definitely a reason to watch Deadwood. I'm also a big fan of Jennifer Garner, she's so perky and beautiful, so sweet and just nice. The movie wasn't as good as I expected, or really just wasn't what I expected. It was good, but just not what I thought.......

The Departed - Leo DiCaprio is someone that I've watched for a very long time. Not because I wanted to, but because he's been in a lot of shows. I remember him as a little boy in Growing Pains, he wasn't Boner, but he was in the cast. Then I watched him in What's Eating Gilbert Grape and Titanic and soooooo many other movies. He's never really impressed me although he is good. My old Bosslady really liked him and so at her urging I watched him in The Aviator and Catch Me If You Can. Again, good movies, just not something that grabbed me. Now, this movie, The Departed, that grabbed me. He was mature and total eye candy. Mark Walberg is also eye candy, ok, not so much in this, but still. Matt Damon, helloooooooo eye candy!!!!!!! I love a good mob movie and this was good, I'll probably buy it I liked it so much.

Because I Said So - This was excellent. One to watch with your mother if you and your mother are close and if you're not it'll embarrass the snot out of her and make you feel good. LOL Definitely one I'll want to buy once the price goes down!!

This weekend looks to be a fair one. We're going camping and I'm having a Pampered Chef party. I have to clean my house some more and buy goodies for the party, oh joy. I have to wonder if I'm on crack sometimes.......

Week in Review

It's Thursday Friday and I've had no time to share, no time to blog, no time to do anything.

Saturday was the 17th anniversary of my wedding. Yes, I've been married for 17 long years. I don't know how we've managed to stay together this long but we have. Go figure. My mom came over and watched MWH while Bob and I went out. We had a fantastic dinner at the restaraunt at the new casino in Wyandotte, I think it's called Twin Rivers. The portions are huge and the prices are decent. Slightly high, but who isn't anymore? I wish they'd lower the portion size AND the price too but oh well. We had a nice time out but I'm glad I only have 1 anniversary a year.

Sunday was Mother's Day and I did NOT get to sleep in. How fucking hard is it to NOT wake me up? 'nuf said

MWH and I spent the day baking. We baked a birthday cake for one of the attorneys I work with and then we baked little rounds for my mom and for me and MWH. They were sooooooo yummy. I made home made butter cream icing and we had fresh strawberries and ooooooooh my goodness, YUMOOOOOO!

Monday I took off work early so I could go to Tulsa with a new friend of mine, T, to go to a WLS support group meeting. I met some really nice folks and we all went out to eat at Cheddar's afterwards. I didn't get home until midnight but it was fantastic!

I took Tuesday off because I had a day coming since I worked on my birthday last month so I stayed home and did little to nothing. Ok, I lied. I watched "Because I Said So" on DVD and I slept. I did a little laundry and I slept. I cried and I slept. I did get out the ol' Rainbow and vacuumed the whole house. God my carpets are filthy. I need a new everyday vacuum.......

Wednesday I went to lunch with my new friend, T, and one of her not so new friends, B. These ladies like to play the ponies and I sooooooo did not know what was going on. I fear that I could learn it though. LOL I always thought you had to bet big on horses but oy vey was I wrong! They were betting $2 and $3 on a race and having a hoot and a half! I never did get enough guts to do it but maybe next time...... maybe.

Thursday evening MWH was inducted into the National Junior Honor Society. I am so extremely proud of her!!!!!!!!!!! I asked a work client's son if he was going to be in NJHS and he said no, he wasn't being abducted. I nearly fell out of my chair. His dad slapped him up the head and said INducted, boy, NOT ABducted!! Then he muttered, no wonder.......... LOL HILARIOUS!!!!!!! After the induction we went out to dinner at my fav Mexican place and it didn't taste right so I threw it up 30 minutes later. Ah, life is good. LOL

I got home in time to watch the season finale of Grey's Anatomy and oh how I wish my life were like that. Who would I be most like? Ok, none of them, I have no desire to be that smart or skilled or talented. Who am I fooling?

Today Bob called me to tell me gas is up to $3.29 at Murphy USA. Hello, WTF? We will NOT be eating out this week. Not. One. Single. Time. PERIOD. Why is gas so high? Don't we have control in Iraq?????????

Well my lunch hour is almost over and I'm angry about the price of gas so I guess I'll get off here before I really get pissed off.

utter exhaustion

that is my definition of ME this week

utterly

completely

exhausted

Monday night, at 12:32 am, Bob woke me up to take him to the emergency room. He'd been throwing up since about 30 minutes after dinner at the Mexican place I hate (MWH picked the place, I just can't deny my kid). If you want to know which place, just walk a 1/2 block east of my office and you'll see it. LOL

So I throw on my sweats and take him to the hospital and the healing ensues. Bob has thrown up at least 20 times. He's cold, clammy, sweaty, tired, achey, sore and miserable. I'm just tired. They draw some blood and then put an IV in his arm and walk away, finally about 45 minutes later they hook him up to the IV fluids. Sheesh...... At 1:30 or so, Bob tells me to go home and check on MWH. He kept my cell so he could call me when he was ready to go home. The doctor said it would only be another hour or two so when I do get home I didn't go to sleep. I figured a few minutes of sleep would be more of a problem than no sleep. I don't know if I was right or wrong. LOL I dozed off around 3:45 or so and he calls me at 4:30 to come get him. He walked out all my himself, that was impressive considering he pretty much crawled in carrying a puke bucket. My alarm goes off at 6:00 and Bob had to call in to work at 6:30 so another short nap happened. Life is hell sometimes. Theree 45 minute cat naps can kill you. LOL

Tuesday morning after mere minutes of sleep over the past 12 hours I had to go BACK to the hospital to do my bloodwork so I had been fasting. Being up all night unable to eat (ok, not really a problem for me) or drink (that was a HUGE problem) is hard!!!!!!! Wicked hard! The whole bloodwork fiasco was insane. The first lab was missing one of the countless vials I needed so I had to go over to the hospital to actually draw my labs. Once the needle was inserted, the phlebotomist (sp?) informed me that my $1000 labs would be cheaper if I had a DLO req rather than an Access req so, in the rain, I made countless trips between the hospital lab and the doctor's office center lab and my primary doctor's office..... In. The. Rain. Tired. Hungry. Thirsty. Cold. Wet.

I did finally make it to work and all was well. I was exhausted and felt like shit but work never stops and I love it. It kept me going all day. Granted, I was dragging ass but I was going.

MWH had her spring chorus concert at the Coleman Tuesday night so still couldn't get any rest but I did have some super fab conversation with Brady's Mom and her hubby who sat next to me. She's so nice and I'm so proud of her finishing her schooling!

I had the 8th grade promotion last night and I'll have to discuss that later...... I just can't bring myself to do it right now. LOL

This weekend looks to be full and there will be no rest yet again. Oh well, I'll die someday and there will be plenty of time to sleep!

Fun!!!!!!!

This weekend was incredible for me. Mrs. Coach and I took our girls to Branson. We. Had. Fun. No men, no responsibilities, no regret! LOL

Mrs. C picked me and Miss Whineyhiney up first thing and we hit the road with both feet running. The girls were in a great mood, we were chatty and happy and the weather was outstanding! Our first stop was Silver Dollar City (as we all have season passes) and actually, the traffic wasn't too bad, just the last 3 miles or so was slow, not nearly as bad as when I chaperoned the chorus trip though! We entered the park and headed towards the Wildfire ride and Nati got stung by a bee. Poor child, she's allergic! Mrs. C comforted her and I sprang into first aid mode and asked a restaraunt for a food serving glove full of ice. Nati cried a bit but was fine after all the attention and ice and we went on, nothing was going to stop us from having a great day! We had honey sticks and walked and talked and made it to Wildfire. Mrs. C and I had never ridden it before, Mrs. C because she usually had to stay with the kiddos and me because I was too fat, so we left the girls to fend for themselves and we rode it together. Wildfire virgins we are not! That was soooooooo much fun, never had I ridden one like that before! WOW!!!!!!!! After our wild ride, Mrs. C rode it again with MWH so I could take a gander at the gift shop. I bet Nati will be tall enough next year though...... Although, there were kids smaller than her riding it, I just don't understand why parents are so freakin' stupid. Helloooooo, there is a minimum height requirement!

After plunging off of Wildfire and getting that milestone out of the way we walked more and headed over to the exposition area which is mostly for kids. We rode the kiddie swings and that was pretty much it for me. I'm so afraid of heights it's not even funny. I am OK if I'll die from the fall but if I'm just gonna get hurt and break something I don't want any part of it. I did NOT like those little kiddie swings at all. Nope. Not at all. MWH was next to me and I kept kicking her seat, the ride operator had to come over and show me how to put my seat thing on and it nearly embarrassed me but hell, I was having so much fun! I fit into the seat, the first time in about 20 years!!!!!!! He teased me about kicking MWH and said I'd better behave or he'd kick me off the ride. LOL That would have been right up my alley....... LOL

After the swings, I'd had enough of being lifted off the ground for a while so Mrs. C and I sat back and enjoyed the sun and the cool, spring breezes. We also gawked at the idiots around us and enjoyed our girls entertaining each other. That is such a great feeling, being able to sit and chat while your kids are safe, happy and having fun. Loved that part......

The girls rode tons of rides in the expo area and I cried. Ok, so I didn't cry but my eyes looked like I did. I had put on a ton of sun block and it was running down into my eyes and tearing me up. I kept washing my eyes but it wasn't helping. Mrs. C said it was probably the bushes around me and I think she was right. They smelled like body odor, NASTY!!!!!!!

Again we walked and talked and hit a few shops. Mrs. C found the mill and bought Mr. Coach some freshly milled flour and baking stuff so she can do some kitchen magic for him. The mill was really neat, they showed how they do it all and the girls thought it was neat! It smelled soooooooo good in there! YUM!

We had lunch at Mary's Springhouse, a little Italian eatery and it really was good. The food is really expensive but the portions were plenty big enough that MWH and I shared and still threw a lot away, I'm so glad we didn't get two meals! Actually, one dish would have probably served all 4 of us if we'd really thought about it. LOL

Next I think we went to the Lost River. We were in line for about 15 minutes or so and a ton of people in front of us left. They were all muttering that the ride was closed or that it was going to be a 2 to 3 hour wait. Mrs. C said they'd done that last time too and it wasn't that long...... so we waited. Poor Mrs. C and her ankle....... The line did seem to go on forever, we waited for right at an hour and finally did make it up to the raft. Just us 4, no one else, that was nice. Mrs. C and I got freakin' soaked, the girls, not so much..... Why is that? LOL They wanted it, we didn't!! LOL Ah, kids! Here is a pic of the girls on the rocks while we were waiting in line for the Lost River.

After that we did some more shopping and walking and bought some fresh pork rinds and talked more. We decided to hit the candy store and make our way out of the park. It was such a great day!!!!!!

It's hilarious too though how you run into people you know when you're on vacation. Mrs. C ran into a relative of hers, I know her from Girl Scouts and she's also a Mary Kay rep. I ran into a guy I went to grade school with, Brandy Williams, and his family. MHS's chorus and WRMS band was there so MWH saw lots of her friends. And I ran into Angie and her family as we were heading out!! Lots of people out and about, you just can't go anywhere anymore! LOL

We left the park and went to the Settle Inn to check into our room and unload before we hit the Landing. We were VERY impressed with our room, not bad for $59.98 plus tax! Here are some pics of the girls with the midevil statues.

We went to the Branson Landing for dinner at Waxy O'Shea's and it was simply divine!! We walked and talked and saw a beautiful water and light show which is simply amazing. We did a little shopping, I can't say no to a Build-A-Bear store....... ever. I swear we have 5 animals (or is it 6 now?) and enough clothes to clothe a 3rd world nation. MWH's almost too big for BABW stuff but I'll never outgrow it! LOL

The girls were exhausted and ready to swim so we headed back to the castle, er um hotel, and swam a little. Mrs. C got the cutest swim suit! I'm so jealous. She's proportioned right and doesn't have all the lumps like me....... if I didn't like her so much I'd have given her dirty, go to hell looks and splashed her 'cause I'm mean like that........ LOL

I don't remember what time we crashed but let me tell you we all went to sleep fast, it didn't take long at all, everyone had spent every bit of energy we had running around all day!

Sunday we had the continental breakfast at the hotel lobby and I kid you not we were the youngest people in the room. There was a seriously tacky Elvis impersonator singing gospel and he was seriously not good. Seriously.

The Settle Inn has lots of theme rooms and Mrs. C wants to stay in the Gone With The Wind room so we asked the front desk to show us some of the theme rooms and that was entirely awesome! The GWTW room was booked so we didn't see it but I do believe we'll get a theme room the next time we go!

Our next stop was at the Amish store where we indulged in chocolate milk mix lots of other yummies. We headed back to the Landing so we could Ride the Ducks and finish up our shopping. The girls got to play "Captain". Here's MWH in the captain's seat! (I'm sure Mrs. C will put up Nati's pic too.)

We ate lunch at Famous Dave's and had the best freakin' BBQ I've had in years! YUMMOOOOOOO! Mrs. Coach and Nati sure do know how to pick 'em!

If you still haven't been to the Branson Landing you're really missing something. You've simply got to go. All I can say is that it's brought Branson into the 21st century. They have shops, REAL shops, not outlets. It has atmosphere and style. It's just very modern yet comfortable.

I know there was more that I wanted to share but it's Thursday and I've been working on this one single fucking post since Monday so I'm done.