Life's Challenges

I'm not going into details here because it's not technically MY drama, it's a family members but I need to vent and I need to post here so here goes.

Every 2nd Monday of the month, I try to go to Owasso to a support group. It's for people who have had WLS but I joke that it's for AA. It's really for WLS people though so if I see you and tell you I was at an AA meeting, don't believe me. Three or four of us carpool down there to Owasso. It's in a wonderful, clean, pristine, new hospital there that is a great facility to have it at BUT it's in the middle of nowhere. The shortest way there is to exit at Claremore and drive about 25 miles on back roads. By the time we get down there it's dark and the roads are windy and I don't know where the hell I'm going so I'm ever so grateful to have my friends with me to tell me where to go so if/when we get lost it's not entirely my fault (I drive my friend's van). BUT, after my day this weekend, things changed.

We had a major upset at home and while I'm not going into details let's just say it's life altering.

So, I needed to get out. I needed the fellowship of my friends and I seriously planned on going SOMEWHERE. I did really want to go to Tulsa, the drive would have been very refreshing, but the location of the facility is hard for me and I found out that my other friends probably weren't going to be going. One was but the other wasn't and we take her van (one of the ladies who goes may be too large to fit in my Jeep). The hospital is not in an area I'm familiar with and I didn't want to end up in a ditch or hit a deer and be completely alone. So I didn't go. I should have gone but I didn't.

I had planned on leaving work early to help my daughter sell Girl Scout cookies but I didn't. I was too upset. I called her school and had them send her a note that asked her to go home with a friend for a little while. Bob had to work over (THANK GOD!) so I had the house to myself for a full 90 minutes. I sat down and cried. I started dinner. I cried. I went over my bills. I cried. I paid bills that should have been paid last week and the week before (I'm ahead, they weren't past due) but I didn't have time to do it. I cried. I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher. I cried. I washed the towels. I cried. I folded 3 loads of laundry that was left on the couch. I cried. My last chore was to climb a ladder and replace 5 incandescent light bulbs with the new energy effecient yet terribly expensive flourescent ones. You have to know though that I'm deathly afraid of heights. I'm 5'5" and I'm too tall if you ask me. If I fall it hurts. I should be shorter but I'm not. I should be swaddled in bubble wrap every morning before I set foot out of bed. So, after more tears, I climbed that damned step ladder and replaced bulbs. Once, twice, three times...... finally, on the fourth time I didn't need to hold onto a wall. The fifth one didn't get replaced because it was time for me to go get MWH but it's fine. I did it. I was up there at my own free will and by God I did it. I can do this. I am strong. No matter what happens in this situation, I'll be ok. We'll be ok. I can tackle that little blue step ladder and anything that comes my way.