2007 vs 2008

I thought (there's the first sign there'll be a problem) that 2007 sucked ass and that 2008 would be the relief I needed to get past such a sorry year.

But damn how I was wrong.

In December, due to the ice storm we had no electricity for 9, NINE, days. We had a small generator running the heat but we couldn't run anything else really. Heat and the bathroom light for 9 days. My life sucked. I didn't put up a Christmas tree. I didn't do anything to decorate. I could barely muster up enough strength to do anything. Our house suffered some damage too. A tree branch poked a hole the size of my head above our bedroom. Another tree branch brought down part of our chain link fence. We had limbs down everywhere and we only have 3 trees in our entire yard. It looked like a warzone. We lost everything in our deep freeze, refrigerator and top freezer. Nearly $1,000 worth of meat (Bob had gotten a deer and I had bought a ton of hamburger over the summer).

(I'm home now, hello Jose, my new name is Margarita)

So, ice storm, no electricity, no tv, no nothing but heat and a light in the shitter. Yeah, fun. NOT. I'm a true 80's child so SIKE or PSYCH is completely acceptable language here. Whatever. More margarita please........ Alrighty then....... Hey, Martha Stewart is funny......... oh, where was I? OK, no power, no Christmas tree, no money for gifts, yeah, life sucked. Anyway, Christmas comes and goes. Let's don't and say we did. And now it's 2008 and, well, it still sucks. The ice damage has to be fixed. We have yet another severe windstorm and my roof is shot. I have 3 layers of shingles ON TOP OF WOOD SHAKES. Hello, KY Jelly, please send me a dozen or so cases of your shit cause I'm about to take it up the ass in a big way.

The roofers come, two if by land, three if by sea (more margarita please) and give quotes. Bob and I weight options of faking our death for the measly $25K of life insurance (more margarita please) vs taking out a loan to get the roof fixed (WTF is wrong with my glass?, MORE MARGARITA PLEASE!!!!!!!!) Margarita salt...in my nose....... how did that happen.... just what is that stuff? Do you need to adhere it with lime or will water work? Oh, yeah..... roofers. Ew, some of them seriously need to bathe. And have dental work. Yeah, we pick a roofer who doesn't' need his teeth sandblasted and who is licensed and bonded. His crew takes only 4 days to annihilate my roof and throw the new one on. Amazing. Damn, thank God I have a backspace key to fix typos........ Mark Barone..... ya think he's a little light in the loafers? (still watching Martha Stewart) (more margarita please) New roof in 4 days. Ok, I forgot what I was saying.

Oh, the trauma of my life that could have brought me to tears last week (or was it the week before?) well, it's temporarily resolved. For now. We'll see what happens in a few weeks. Shit could hit the fan still but for now I won't be altering my life.

Hey, have you thought about putting those stupid, ugly, insanely expensive light bulbs in your sockets yet? I have. I've got 8 bulbs changed so far and all I have left is my damned ceiling fans and those are the expensive ones..... like $4 each bulb and there are 4 bulbs needed per freaking fan. Martha's over, now it's Jon & Kate plus 8, also known as the poster parents for birth control.

I forgot what I was talking about........

MARGARITA

Oh, roofers...... roof's done, damn good job, highly recommend. Broke, never be able to afford toilet paper again.......

I have more to discuss about the drama at school last Thursday regarding my precious, amazing, light-of-my-life, wonderful, perfect, amazing kid getting assaulted at school. Can't type now at all, the Jose Cuervo is kicking in too well but it's one hell of a story.

Hey, where's my glass...... is it immature to drink margaritas from a Shrek glass you got from McDonald's?