Photoblogging

Here are some pics of me in my younger years. The red ball pic is me at about 18 months, the red vest is about age 4 and the God awful brown dress pic is about age 5, kindergarten I think.

I figured I'd post these myself rather than some tabloid in the future, you know, after I win Publisher's Clearing House or become famous for mass murder.

Yeah, don't think I haven't considered it.

Beauty Is As Beauty Does, Precious Peace, Blissful Baking, Pampered Chef Parties, Sadness Via Cell Phone and Painted Prettiness!

BEAUTY IS AS BEAUTY DOES
Miss Whineyhiney is a normal 13 year old girl who loves her hair. She has beautiful hair and I don't know where in the hell it came from. Blonde and straight with just a slight wave...... I'm so fucking jealous of her...... UGH! Anyway, Friday she got highlights and lowlights and damn it put 2 years on her. She looks so mature, so freakin' scary. Eighth grade is going to kick my ass. I know there will be boys, it's going to be a long, long year. I don't know how much highlights and lowlights normally cost because we go to the beauty college but let me tell you if it were much more expensive I'd have to sell one of my kidneys! OUCH!

PRECIOUS PEACE
Miss Whineyhiney has two best friends. One goes to her dad's house in Washinton for the summer, they stay in touch via email and cell phones. Her other best friend stays here but she is active in dance and has a different sleep schedule than MWH so they don't see each other either. She also stays in touch via email and cell phones even though she's less than a mile away. Ah, technology. Well, the Washinton girl got home last week and so this Friday night the girls got together and had their summer Girls' Night Out, their last big bash before school starts. FUN. So after the beauty shop makeover I dropped her off at her friends' house for their GNO. It does my heart good to see her happy, it's so nice that she has friends like that....

And, if my kid being happy (and gone) isn't enough, my husband went to Springfield on a little trip of his own. Yes, I was alone for an entire evening...... A L O N E Ahhhh, the words just roll off my tongue like.......like.......oh hell, there are no words.

BLISSFUL BAKING
So, no kid, no husband, what should I do? I baked. My 4th Pampered Chef party was Saturday and I was going to be demonstrating a warm chocolate cup cake recipe so I decided to make the recipe Friday evening so I wouldn't look like a complete and total idiot. It was so nice to have the house to myself, to be able to do what I wanted, when I wanted, where I wanted. To fart in peace with no one telling me to spray something........ Ah, heaven.

The cupcakes turned out beautifully and were to die for. I took some over to the girls, called a friend and had some foiled up for her and her son to take home and when Bob did get home he ate one or two (or three). They were good. Rich, chocolate, coffee and cream...... Have mercy!

PAMPERED CHEF PARTIES
Thursday I closed my third party, a catalog show, and Saturday I did my fourth show, a cooking show. I get entirely too excited about these stupid shows. I drag every Pampered Chef thing I own to them and I'm thinking that my Jeep just isn't big enough. I really do have a great time though, it's just so damned fun! I would LOVE to do it full time but I don't sell well, I just love to do it. LOL I know it's expensive, but I love the gadgets, I just do it for me and no one else. My goal is 2 shows a month and I've met my goal this month already so I guess I'm done. We'll see though...... I do have one scheduled for September and one for October already so I am booking up fast!! WOO HOO!

SADNESS VIA CELL PHONE
Mrs. Coach's precious grandma is having some major health concerns. Mrs. C has been texting me all weekend keeping me informed about her status. It ain't good people, if you believe in God, please, please pray. Pray for Grandma and pray for Mrs. C and her family. They're good people, I hate that she's feelin' pain.

PAINTED PRETTINESS
It's taken two months but my office is finally complete! Bob hung my shelf today so I could move the book case and other furniture around and I love it! WOO HOO! He finished the painting behind the book case and took down the ugly blinds so now my office is beautiful and done! I think I'll find some pretty art work and maybe a mirror or a clock for decorations but the major stuff is done! Finally! It's all mine and I love it!!!!!!

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Tomorrow starts the new week and I'm not sure this weekend was long enough. Actually I'm positive it wasn't long enough. I can't complain though because I did what I wanted to, I just wanted to do more than what I had time for. Ah, life.

Mystery Blogger suggests Joke Of The Day

A man, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to his wife, "I feel horrible, I look fat, ugly and out of shape. Pay me a compliment."

The wife replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

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Thank you Mystery Blogger, you know how to start a day off RIGHT!

Serious

Two things this weekend are blog worthy......

First, my mother, who is 51, bought a new car. A 2007 Dodge Caliber. It's white and a very nice car and I'm soooooooo proud of her because it's her first new car that she's ever owned. Her last car, a boat, a 2001 (I think) Mercury Marquis, was dying. The air conditioning went out of it and she was having all sorts of problems with it. She's been wanting something else, something that gets about 30 miles per gallon (or more) but she's just unsure of herself and didn't have the nerve to go out and do it. Well last week I took her out to the local Dodge dealer and had her drive a Caliber. She loved it. We took her to the Chevy lot and she drove an Aveo and she hated it. She really liked the feel and the looks of the Caliber and I do too. I was not prepared though for her to call me Friday night and tell me she had BOUGHT one though.

My mom is bipolar and I worry about her. She takes her meds but she still has episodes where she's manic (high) or depressed (low) and right now she's high. Manic. Her mannerisms are wild, her speech is fast, her mind is racing........ I can barely keep up with her. She's going 90 to nothing fast.

She needs sleep. She's worried about money (who isn't?) and about getting her new car tagged.

I'm worried about her being unable to take care of herself...... Why am I the responsible one? Why does it all fall on me? Why?

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On another front, Curie died. My friend, Cruella, is crushed. She loved her little kitty. It's so sad. She had a stroke while Cruella was out of town and Cruella feels so bad that Curie suffered alone. I feel bad because she feels bad...... Sucks.

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Friday started the "Back to School" tax break sales here in my neck of the woods. School supplies and clothes are exempt from State taxes. So Saturday we loaded up the Jeep and headed to Springfield, Missouri for some BTS shopping. MWH got some goodies at JC Penney's, Vanity (possibly her new favorite store), Steve & Barry's and I don't even remember where else. LOL I had to stop at Build-A-Bear because I freakin' love BABW. We shopped, we ate, we peed, we walked, we shopped........ My feet hurt, my back ached, my head throbbed....... But we did it. BTS shopping is now over and I'm done. WOO HOO!!!!!!!

Or. So. I. Thought.

Sunday morning after I cooked pancakes for breakfast and after I read my Joplin Globe and Miami News-Record papers, I took the tags off MWH's clothes to wash them only to discover that the idiot clerk at JC Penney's failed to remove one of the anti theft buttons from a pair of LEI jeans. FUCK! I tried to call Springfield's JC Penney's store but they didn't open until 11:00 so I had to wait. I don't wait well. Finally I got ahold of a live human being and here's the conversation:

CLERK: "oooooooooh, it happens all the time........ giggle, tee hee, just bring them back, we'll fix ya right up!"

ME: "But I am in Oklahoma, you're in Springfield, I don't WANT to drive 100 miles for a pair of pants........."

CLERK: "Why did you come here?"

ME: "Does it matter? Look, I just want this damn button OFF these jeans, how do I get it off? I'm NOT driving back to Springfield unless you give me gas money and something for my time, cause it's gonna take me 4 hours for the round trip!"

CLERK: "Oh, well I can offer you a $5 gift card....... um, why don't you go to Joplin's store, they can take off the button. Why didn't you just go there to begin with?"

ME: "Just mail me the damned card...."

So, Sunday, after a breakfast of champions, after enlightening myself with the local news and oodles of sale ads, and after a check up call to my mother to see if she is ok, we headed to Joplin to go back to the mall to get the jeans dealt with.

We hit the mall running....... got the jeans anti theft button removed, stopped at Vanity, Rue 21, DEB, Sears and God knows where else...... Again, I was beat! I swear I'm never going to get to rest. We headed home and went to Wal-Mart for groceries and by the time we got home it was after 4:00 and I was spent. Stick a fork in me, I am done!!

Also, on Saturday, if going to Springfield wasn't enough, we went to The Swimmin' Hole in Joplin for their late night swim. I'm too thin to swim at night anymore. I just can't do it. I froze my ass off. When I was heavier I could do it, but now that I'm not as fat (I'm still overweight, obese even, according to my BMI). I'm too cold now, all the time........ Being thinner has advantages and disadvantages, I'll take them all though, good and bad. Thinner........ That freakin' rocks!

conversations with my child

Miss Whineyhiney: Mom, can an oxymoron be a compound word?

Me (mom): Um, sure. (thinking to myself, hello, it's August, school doesn't start for 2 more weeks, WHY are you thinking about this shit?)

Miss Whineyhiney: Well, can you think of any examples?

Me: Ummmmmmm (pause) no. Why, in all that is Holy, are you thinking about this NOW?

Miss Whineyhiney: 'Cause school starts in just 14 days!!!!

Me: OOOOOOOh, how I know kid, how I know......

In addition to oxymorons (which are NOT bleached idiots) we also discussed hyperboles (which are pronounced high-per-bah-lee-s NOT high-per-bowls) and other English topics.

I can't believe my kid will be in 8th grade. Eighth grade. I can barely type it, I still can't say it out loud. She's going to be an office aid this year and she's totally freakin' excited about it too! She is going to take Pre Advanced Placement classes for math, science and English. She'll be pushing it but I think she can do it. I just know she can! I'm so damned proud of her, she's such a great kid!

Thought for the day...

Handle every situation like a canine:

If you can't eat it, play with it, or screw it,

Piss on it and walk away.