... I had the ability to pause time.
... my family and I had no debt. None. Nada. Zip.
... that I had sent my sister a card or something grand for her birthday.
... the piano was something that I could play.
... that I knew what tomorrow holds.
... I had more time.
... there were more flowers in my flower bed.
... that I had more friends like Angie.
... our movie theater played a wider variety of movies.
... there were protein rather than calories in Reese's Pieces.
... corn didn't get stuck in my teeth as often.
... Princess Dianna were still alive.
... my writing skills were better.
... I were treated like the others and not like a step child.
... my daughter would join the swim team.
... it weren't so damned cold in my house.
... that damned mouse in my closet wall would find a new home.
***********************************************************
Friday I had a bad day. When I say bad day, I seriously mean it. Bad. Day. Stop. Re-evaulate breathing. Questioning everything. The all knowing, all loving. Heart and soul, mind and body, spiritual stuff. Nothing at all made sense. Nothing was what it seemed. I have nothing. I was no where. I am no where. There was no hope and it was just time. Time I didn't have.
And then there was Angie.
She says that God sent me to her a few months ago. I question that. She needed something and I was the link to her means to an end. God. And then there was a psychic in Atlantic City. I can see the psychic. But God? Who knows. Either way, she thinks I helped her. Imagine that, me, but I know the truth. She has no clue. None. I'm so unworthy of her ...... There are no words....... Yes, I know there is but it's so far beyond me.
I'm a busy woman. I'm a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister and a friend to so many. I work full time, I have a life of my own that I'm just not living anymore. I feel like I am drowning at times. People always ask me to do things and I usually do them, but first..... I'm stopping. I'm saying no. Hell no. I'm putting ME first now, so let's get started on the ME, oh, wait, but first.....
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Nausea, Mecca and Accomplishments! Oh, my!
Nausea
It's amazing to me how hypocritical some people are. You back stab, lie, manipulate, spread hate and yet still find the time to visit vacation bible school, Sunday services and or church camp and fill that empty, cold, lifeless heart of yours with God's word and receive His forgiveness. Amazing that you still know how to ask for forgiveness. Who am I kidding?!?!?!?! You've had years of practice, how dare I think you'd get it right! hahahaaaaaaaa Shame on me, folks, shame on me!
Mecca
I have found the Red Box. It is divine. I can walk up to it and find what I want. There is no attitude, no gum chewing, lip peirced, pink-haired, eye rolling, sarcastic ass asking me to verify my mother's maiden name.
Accomplishments
I am OK with the fact that I'm the mother of a FRESHMAN. That's an amazing accomplishment. Tomorrow will be the first day of school and I'm dreading it but I think I'll survive. I think.................
It's amazing to me how hypocritical some people are. You back stab, lie, manipulate, spread hate and yet still find the time to visit vacation bible school, Sunday services and or church camp and fill that empty, cold, lifeless heart of yours with God's word and receive His forgiveness. Amazing that you still know how to ask for forgiveness. Who am I kidding?!?!?!?! You've had years of practice, how dare I think you'd get it right! hahahaaaaaaaa Shame on me, folks, shame on me!
Mecca
I have found the Red Box. It is divine. I can walk up to it and find what I want. There is no attitude, no gum chewing, lip peirced, pink-haired, eye rolling, sarcastic ass asking me to verify my mother's maiden name.
Accomplishments
I am OK with the fact that I'm the mother of a FRESHMAN. That's an amazing accomplishment. Tomorrow will be the first day of school and I'm dreading it but I think I'll survive. I think.................
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