Mystery Blogger suggests Joke Of The Day

A man, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to his wife, "I feel horrible, I look fat, ugly and out of shape. Pay me a compliment."

The wife replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

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Thank you Mystery Blogger, you know how to start a day off RIGHT!

Little Joe and the mortgage

For his birthday, little Joe asked for a 10-speed bicycle.

His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw little Joe heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"

Little Joe told him; "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage & no bike.

Poor Baby....

Minutes after a woman gave birth to her baby, her doctor stood solemnly at her bedside and said: "I have something I must tell you about your baby."

"What's wrong?," the alarmed mother asked.

"Your baby is a hermaphrodite."

"What's that?"

"It means your baby has both male and female parts."

"Oh, my goodness, that's wonderful!," the woman exclaimed. "You mean it has a penis and a brain? That doesn't happen often, does it?!"