Geneology

To coffee or not to coffee...

It's been over a week now since I stopped my daily caffeine routine: half a pot at home followed by another half pot at the office. So today I find myself in Tulsa where there are more Quiktrip's than traffic lights and my heart races every 9 seconds. That's about how frequently I'm eyeing a QT sign. I want to enjoy coffee rather than be addicted. I am coffees bitch. So I ponder... Is it too soon? Am I ready?

I ain't dead... yet...

The new-to-me Blogger app for my handy dandy iPhone has been downloaded. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

r@nd0mn3ss

A month or two ago, Bob was innocently looking for some reloading information and had keyed in "lube" and something else. Apparently, this is a not-so-secret code word for all things porn and our HP desktop was inundated with porn. Bob is angry at himself and I can't seem to get him to understand that it could have happened to anyone. I was able to get the virus off but I had to do a full system restore back to day one so we lost all of our pictures, files, updates, programs and other things stored on that computer. Talk about good times! It took TWO full days for that machine to download all of the critical updates. TWO DAYS! Every day I realize one or two more things that I've lost, my resume, my spreadsheet of expenses, cheat sheets on how to do things, recipe cards, Christmas card labels, and the list goes on and on. Luckily, some of my pictures are here on this blog, some are on MySpace, Flickr and FaceBook. Some, not all.

In an effort to not lose any more pictures, I'm going to be more vigilant in posting them here so that I can not worry about them in the future. So, here's a few pics I've taken recently:

Just a random cell phone pic of me. Sometimes I just want to update my web sites with new pics but then I take a picture and realize it wasn't worth my time. LOL

MWH and her Manic Panic blue hair!

Her evil twin... hehehe


Another random pic of me, this one I really like!

A Ladies Who Lunch luncheon during my staycation! What a fun day that was!

Stay tuned, there will be more to come...

greeeeeeeeetings

Nope. I'm not dead. Yet. Though I'm sure there are days when I look it. A lot. Life's been kicking my ass lately and I just don't know what is going to happen from one minute to the next.

Summer is almost over and I'm sitting here wondering what happened to February. Hello? What the hell happened? Where's my Easy Button?

MWH is working at the local bowling alley, she's the hostess with the mostest and she really likes it. Bob found a new job and he's still working 4 days.

I'm still working. Hard, mind you. But I haven't forgotten about my blog and I am hell bent to return to it. My loyal readers have probably left me, all but my lovely Lynne and sweet sister Kindel. The rest, well, gimme a shout, I hope you're still here.

There is a window of opportunity that I may have time this weekend to spend on something for me and if that window remains open, my blog will be top priority. Stay tuned, friends, I'm back.

Whiney Wednesday

Ok, it's now officially Thursday, but I'm half asleep, hacking and gagging from allergies or the swine flu (not sure which is ailin' me) and both my ears are clogged so I'm still kind of behind in everything else so why not whine about missing yesterday?

Last Tuesday and Wednesday, I had a tickle in my throat.... it was coming. I tried to blow it off. I failed. Bob has been sick, extremely sick, since the first week of April. He's hacked, gagged, sweated, chilled, snotted and slept. His ailments are so what I didn't want. Friday, dinner went from my gut to the Marvin's parking lot. Uh oh. Saturday, the air was fresh, the sun was out, it appeared to be a wonderful day to get out and deny any illness..... Yet, Saturday's dinner also made a repeat appearance. Oh how I paid for my Saturday running on Sunday. Sunday, Mother's Day, was spent in my chair, on my bed, stuffy headed, coughing, gagging, but no puking. Which was mostly based on the fact that I barely ate. Bob cooked me breakfast that I'm sure was simply wonderful but I could not smell nor taste. MWH gave me a beautiful card and a new Pandora bracelet (the bracelet was actually bought my my mom since she was sad that Bob nor MWH actually got me anything other than a card). I think I slept through lunch but dinner was Nott's ribeye steaks. Yummmm. I'm sure they were good too, but, I couldn't taste a thing. Sunday night was spent wide awake considering I spent the entire night just focusing on breathing. I'm not sure if Boss Lady was surprised or not when I called her Monday morning to let her know I would not be making her morning coffee. I think there was Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup on Monday but I'm really not sure if it was soup or just yellow water since I have apparently lost all my abilities to do anything other than suck snot. The office welcomed me warmly Tuesday, but every time the phone rang and I answered, whoever was on the other end paused.... then asked "April, is that you?" My voice sounded like, I don't know, just not me. My 19th wedding anniversary was Tuesday and MWH had her Spring chorus concert at the Coleman theater so I had to get out. Mom gave me and Bob a sweet anniversary card with a Montana Mike's gift card in it so that's where we went for dinner. Bob and I split a tasteless, gristly steak. Bob says the taste was actually good but the gristle got the best of both of us. I had a sweet potato and I do think there was one or two bites that I could taste, maybe it was just a memory though. The concert was nice but terribly loud. My ears are still hurting from the volume. My congestion is to the point where you have Charlie Brown ears and all you hear is "waaaaa waaaaaaa waaaaaaa" and they squeak inside. It's terribly painful now. Wednesday was a blur.... I spent the entire day trying to play catch up at work while the Boss Lady was in overdrive. My desk is such a mess. The hall copy table is buried. There are 4 different cases that she filed stuff on yesterday and I have work to do on all of those files. I did cook spaghetti for dinner last night, I did taste a little bit so it must have had decent flavor. Yummmm. I saved the left over pasta and I hope to make something with butter and garlic tonight. Oh, how divine!!!!! I crawled into bed around 9pm, called my friend Susan to let her know of some sad news about a friend who's cancer has returned and isn't doing well and the tornado sirens start going off. Bob, MWH and I spent the next 40 minutes underneath the house in our basement! The sirens went off repeatedly, I think I lost count after about 6 times. Bob called the police department to get the all clear and they said there was another twister sighting in Commerce (about 3 miles away) heading SE (towards us) so we stood our ground even longer. It was after 11pm before I got back into my comfy bed and after midnight before the sandman came along and took me away. I must have passed gas or coughed on him though because he didn't keep me. The clock said 1:47 and I was awake again. It's going to be a long, long day......

I hope my friend Cruella is doing better;
My wonderful sister's been texting me all sorts of funnies and warm fuzzies but I haven't reciprocated, just no energy, I so need to see how she and my sweet nephews are doing;
My awesome friend Retro Kim had surgery last week and is recovering well and that makes me very happy;
The wicked smart Tillie has finished school and I need to send her a congrats but I just can't make myself do it....

My ears hurt, my nose is glogged, my eyes are gunky and I'm tired. I think I'll have another cup of coffee and start my busy day. Wish me luck.

livin' the good life

Yes, it's been a month of Sundays since I posted last. There's been more terribly bad news around my little corner of the world but I refuse to dwell on it here. Life is too short. One good, positive, wonderful thing that happened in the past few weeks is that my amazing friends from Wyoming came to see me and my family for a short visit. Too short if you ask me..... Ugh. Why must I work? LOL Why must I have to NOT devote my life to shopping and merry making?

The last several weeks has been a literal mad rush to get things done before Cruella and the ol' Cody Coyote get here. Bob has been trimming out the windows that we bought, what, three or four years ago, that he finished installing last year but never had time to trim out. Well, all but TWO are now finished. The two that need sanded and stained are in my bedroom and I can live with that. Bob has crawled under the house and jacked up the floor to make it more sturdy (ah, life in an older home.....) and now since he did that I moved my living room furniture so that my entertainment center is not up against a wall. My living room, which is 13 x 35, is now divided better into a family room, a computer area and a dining area. Right after Christmas, my mom gave me her dining room table and chairs and buffet and hutch. She bought the set in 1985 or so and it's not the top of the line but it's held up for the past few decades and still looks nice. I think it looks fantastic in my home and I really do enjoy having the set here. It really feels like home here now. So we've been doing a crap load of home improvements lately in addition to the frenzied cleaning regiment that has just completely unnerved me. I like a little bit of clutter and dust. If there isn't dust then I'm just not sure I'm home. Helloooooooo, you can't cold turkey me with a clean house!!

So, Cruella and the ol' Cody Coyote get here Wednesday evening and we have a wonderful dinner and some great conversation. Thursday, Cruella and I went to Joplin and did a little mall crawl and hit Sam's where we bought some of the best shrimp you can buy in bulk. LOL Cruella introduced me to Pandora and I fear that my life will never be the same again. She bought a bracelet for me and even gave me several amazingly beautiful charm beads and now I am hooked!! Oh, I love me some European silver!! The charms are just so cute!! I love (and have!!) the rabbit, the easter egg, the snake, the love bokay, the amazingly beautiful One World Health charm and the precious heart lock and key to name a few. Even thought there are several charms on my bracelet, there are still a ton of charms on my wish list and I'm so glad my birthday and anniversary are coming up soon!! I can't believe how sweet, kind and generous Cruella is to me!! I truly don't deserve a friend like her! Friday we trinkey dinked around town, found the local Pandora dealer, Goforth Jewelry, and tried to build our energy levels up for Tulsa!! Even though we stayed close to home, we still enjoyed ourselves immensely!! Saturday we went to Tulsa and hit a ton of Pandora shops where Cruella and I added some charms to both her bracelet and mine!! While I was driving, I called several Pandora dealers in Oklahoma and I found her a retired strawberry (they only had one though) that Cruella really wanted to find. In the shops in Tulsa we found retired dice and 8-balls for each of us. Cruella spied an ugly duckling before I did and I am sooooooooo jealous!! I seriously wanted that one, oh well, we found that one, surely there are more. We had lunch at PF Chang's with our hubbies who were in Tulsa too spending the day at the gun show. After lunch, we hit more Pandora shops and the mall where Miss Whineyhiney failed in finding clothes for her Key Club convention. Ugh, that kid is the hardest to shop for!! We hit The Cheesecake Factory for dinner and I had the BEST crispy artichoke hearts and MWH ordered a salisbury steak and a kahlua, coffee, mocha cheesecake that she ended up wearing because we fought over a few bites. LOL I won, of course!!!!! Sunday I cooked breakfast burritos, read my Sunday papers and we went BACK to Joplin for another mall crawl (MWH was still searching for clothes!).

Sadly, Monday came and my friends went home and I went back to work. *sniff, sniff, tear, tear* They're home now and I'm sad to see them leave..... So much fun, so little time. I can only hope we are able to head that way this summer! Weeeeeeeeeeee, more adventures!!!!!

Phelps

Yesterday, during my lunch hour, KSYN 92.5's DJ was discussing Michael Phelps and he made a comment about how Snoop Dogg gets photographed doing drugs all the time and I lost it. While I'm not an Olympian or even an Olympic fan, I find the Olympic spirit and drive of these athletes to be just damn near divine. They spend years in training for a stupid little hunk of gold that means something to them, to their families, to their country. So, I don't laugh at it, I just basically ignore the Olympics and go on. Whatever floats your boat. I do sometimes watch the gymnastics simply because there is nothing else on, but that's about it. Oh, I do laugh at the runners too because sometimes their faces and lips contort to the most amusing configurations while they're running.

So, here's my opinion on the Phelps scandal:

Phelps spent years honing his skill. He earned 8 GOLD medals, if memory serves, he's received 14 total in the recent Olympics and 8 more in the 2004 Athens Olympics. He worked his ass off. He came home an American hero, an icon, and resumed life, returned to college. I don't know what happened, if he was bored, stupid, rebelling or what but he was at college party and took a hit out of a bong. Generally, I think drugs are stupid and I stand by this whole heartedly, but if you're 18 (Phelps is 23) and choose to do them that's your stupidity. Obviously he chose this path, and now Kelloggs, one of his endorsers, is chosing not to renew his endorsement contract because his behavior wasn't "consistent with the image of Kellogg". Now, supposedly he was not going to be re-signed because of a change in Kelloggs ability to use the Olympic rings in their advertising but they chose this time to publicaly separate from Phelps which to me was immature and I feel is terribly cowardly. Let's take the golden boy while he's hot but one screw up and let's drop him like he's got ebola. Keep in mind, folks, that Phelps had a record prior to Kelloggs endorsing him, he pled guilty to drunk driving in 2004 and received 18 months probation. So it's not like he was walking around with a spotless record prior to their signing him.

My final point is that no one is acknowledging whether or not he's passed a urine test since this drama began. Hello?! Is his piss clean now? If so, slack up already!! If not, shame on Kelloggs for not trying to get this young man into a treatment program.

I do believe that Kelloggs sugar laden cereals and other products won't be on my shopping list for some time.....

Subway and Omega (watches) are continuing their support and endorsement of Phelps and I think that's wonderful.

I do think that Columbia, South Carolina's local law enforcement needs to investigate this incident and pursue criminal charges against Phelps and anyone else at the party for use of a narcotic and for paraphenalia, etc.

Make the punishment fit the crime, folks.

I'm such a Twit(ter)

Since I have (a) unlimited text and (b) a vast amount of angry "why haven't you blogged lately" friends, I have decided to become a Twit(ter). I don't know how well I'll keep it up (aaaaahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa) but hey, it's worth a shot. So, if you're a Twit too, please let me know so I can stalk, er, um follow you......... Look for me on Twitter as, wouldn't you know it, aproka425.

Ch-ch-changes....... turn the beat around!

How does that song go?


So, in the last millennium since I've blogged, a lot has changed.


My perfect child has turned 15.


My husband has gone and returned on his long awaited for Colorado Elk Hunt.


I took a mini-vacation.


I've had an erection.


MWH found a real, paying job.


Miss Whineyhiney competed in her first, second and third MHS Swim Meet.


I've found a new (old) job.

Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years came and Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years went......

And our nation has elected a new Commander in Chief. I didn't vote for him.


You all hear November 4th and think "election day" but no, not in my house. November 4th is my daughter's birthday. It used to be my mom's birthday but in 1993 it stopped being HER birthday and became Miss Whineyhiney's. My mother will remain 38. Forever.


MWH got a Chi flat iron from her 'rents. She's in flat haired heaven. We also let her have a party at the local Holiday Inn Express where she could invite all of her wonderful friends plus One. One knows who he is 'cause he's the token male. Actually, he's hilarious and I'm glad he's in her life. One's girlfriend couldn't come to the party though so it was a little odd, but we all had a great time (no he did NOT spend the night, he went home at a decent hour). The hotel party was insane. The girls ran on the tread mill until their feet were smooth as a baby's butt. Seriously, they were all checking the smoothness of their feet the next day. Ah, kids......


Bob went to Colorado with a co-worker and friends. He stayed in a little cabin that was probably nice in the 1960's but now, well, not so much. They didn't even have telephones. He didn't have cell service either. He called home twice, collect. The bill for those two calls alone was $92.50. That was JUST. FOR. THE. TWO. COLLECT. CALLS. Seriously people. Never call me collect. Even if you're dead, I'm not going to accept. Ever.

So the erection bit is about Bob's new shop. While he was in Colorado, we had a building erected. When I say we, I mean I. It took three men seven hours to put the shop up and while there was a great deal of drama about it all afterwards, it was still a seven hour erection. Yes, a lot of hilarity ensued when I told people I had an erection while my hubby was hundreds of miles West of me hunting for elk. Ah, good times......

I also went back to the ol' BossLady. I don't mean she's OLD, I mean she's my former employer, that kind of ol'. So glad to be back, so glad to be doing bankruptcies again. Such a stress reliever to be away from my old job and the drama.

Lastly, (I know I'm forgetting something though) I need to chime in on the whole Obama thing. I voted for McCain. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I didn't want the big O in the office simply because he was inexperienced. I stand by that to this day. I don't think he has a clue about the big pile of steaming shit he's stepped into. The media elected this man by way of a marathon of infomercials. He's in, I'm fine with that, whatever, but I'm chapped at how everyone talks about how he's black. Hello, his mother is white, he was raised by his maternal *white* grandparents. It's wrong to call him black. I do find it hilarious though how the government is trying to downplay his Hussein though...... At the inauguration, he was first introduced as Barrack Hussein Obama, then Barrack H. Obama, then Barrack Obama. What next? The big B.O.? Haaaaaa haaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaa.

I'm not slamming the president, I hope he does a good job, I just don't think he's experienced enough to do it. I do think his wife is interesting though. I like how she has continued to keep one foot stuck in reality, such as wearing J Crew gloves at the inauguration.

My sister and many of my friends have asked, texted and threatened me about blogging so here you go, it's not perfect but it's me.

Photobloggery

Here's a picture of our Breast Cancer Race for the Cure walk.

Isn't my daughter beautiful????????????

What to say?

Good grief there is just no time to blog. No time to whine. No time to breathe. No time.

Here's a brief accounting of what's been happening in and around my world since my last post......

Miss Whineyhiney is doing well. Her GPA has hovered between a 3.86 and a 4.0. Both of which are phenomenal if you ask me considering that she's taking Pre-Advanced Placement classes. I'm so damned proud of that kid.

She's also joined the MHS Swim Team. We don't have a school pool, they'll be using the one at the local Junior College as soon as it's repaired from the July, 2007, flood (supposedly this month). They've been having practice at the 5 Mile Children's Camp until the NEO pool opens. Only one of the five team members has ever actually had any swim training but hey, who cares!! She'll even get Physical Education credit for it so she won't have to take a PE class next year! WOO HOO! She missed out on the Drivers' Ed class they had but there's another one coming next month so hopefully we'll get in that while the gettin's good.

MWH also got her ears repierced. Yes, RE (as in again) pierced. I've spent nearly $60 putting holes in my kids head. Parent of the year, I am. Her birthday (OMG! 15!!) is coming up soon and she wanted to do it for her b'day but I told her to do it now so that she can get the BL!NG for her big day. I'm always lookin' out for her like that.....

I know there's more to type about my perfect kid but I'll let the rest go for now.... I don't want to bore ya.

As for Bob, he's been a pretty happy man lately. His hard work is paying off. He's so excited about what's been happening lately! First, he's chompin' at the bit for his COLORADO elk hunting trip! I'm so excited for him, he's been wanting to go again for so long and it's FINALLY HAPPENING!!!!!!! WHOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Second, we're getting his new shop built now too and that should be done about the same time as his elk hunt. I get the old (small) attached garage to house my Jeeeeeeep and I'm tickled about that! BRING ON THE SNOW, I'm ready for winter!

A new shop, an elk hunting trip in Colorado..... Hmm, how can I top that for Christmas? Um, that won't be happening. LOL

My wonderful sister (not to be confused with the two others who won't even take a farkin' kidney if they're dying....... ) brought my two amazing nephews down for their birthday last month. Danny has asthma (like me :-( poor baby) and he's been pretty sick lately. I hate it when kids are sick....... Joey has been doing well though and he's excelling at school (I KNEW HE COULD DO IT!!). Sis got a part time job as a bartender and I'm so freakin' jealous! I wish I could do that but I know it just wouldn't fly around my house. Bob can't sleep if I'm not home and I can't do that to him, he's such a difficult (light) sleeper as it is.

Last month I went to Tulsa for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure Breast Cancer Walk (whew, my fingers are tired from typin' all that!). I had a pretty good time and we went to Woodland Hills afterwards (hence the above-mentioned piercing) and had a truly lovely family day out. I raised $175 in donations for breast cancer research and I'm pretty proud of that fact.

I went to play BINGO with my mom last weekend (no rest for the wicked) and had a blast. I really do like my mom, she's dingy as all get out but she knows how to crack me up like no one else.

Fall is here and I'm oooooh sooooooo happppppppppy. I love me a good frost. Love it when it's cold out and you can see the steam come off your house. That is heaven to me. Lows in the 40's, not freezing yet but there's hope.

My dear, sweet, bitchy friend T lost her job last month. Her boss came in one day and gave her the boot after TEN years. Helloooooooooo. How shitty is that? She was fired for scouting law schools! THAT SUCKS! Oh well, she's found a new part time gig (within walking distance to her house!!) and her new boss supports her going to law school so that turned out wonderful for her.

I know there's more to say but I'm thinkin' that's about all I have in me right now.

I wish...

... I had the ability to pause time.

... my family and I had no debt. None. Nada. Zip.

... that I had sent my sister a card or something grand for her birthday.

... the piano was something that I could play.

... that I knew what tomorrow holds.

... I had more time.

... there were more flowers in my flower bed.

... that I had more friends like Angie.

... our movie theater played a wider variety of movies.

... there were protein rather than calories in Reese's Pieces.

... corn didn't get stuck in my teeth as often.

... Princess Dianna were still alive.

... my writing skills were better.

... I were treated like the others and not like a step child.

... my daughter would join the swim team.

... it weren't so damned cold in my house.

... that damned mouse in my closet wall would find a new home.

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Friday I had a bad day. When I say bad day, I seriously mean it. Bad. Day. Stop. Re-evaulate breathing. Questioning everything. The all knowing, all loving. Heart and soul, mind and body, spiritual stuff. Nothing at all made sense. Nothing was what it seemed. I have nothing. I was no where. I am no where. There was no hope and it was just time. Time I didn't have.

And then there was Angie.

She says that God sent me to her a few months ago. I question that. She needed something and I was the link to her means to an end. God. And then there was a psychic in Atlantic City. I can see the psychic. But God? Who knows. Either way, she thinks I helped her. Imagine that, me, but I know the truth. She has no clue. None. I'm so unworthy of her ...... There are no words....... Yes, I know there is but it's so far beyond me.

Nausea, Mecca and Accomplishments! Oh, my!

Nausea

It's amazing to me how hypocritical some people are. You back stab, lie, manipulate, spread hate and yet still find the time to visit vacation bible school, Sunday services and or church camp and fill that empty, cold, lifeless heart of yours with God's word and receive His forgiveness. Amazing that you still know how to ask for forgiveness. Who am I kidding?!?!?!?! You've had years of practice, how dare I think you'd get it right! hahahaaaaaaaa Shame on me, folks, shame on me!

Mecca

I have found the Red Box. It is divine. I can walk up to it and find what I want. There is no attitude, no gum chewing, lip peirced, pink-haired, eye rolling, sarcastic ass asking me to verify my mother's maiden name.

Accomplishments

I am OK with the fact that I'm the mother of a FRESHMAN. That's an amazing accomplishment. Tomorrow will be the first day of school and I'm dreading it but I think I'll survive. I think.................

Thoughts for the Day

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES:
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS:
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

********************************************************
OPEC sells oil for $136.00 a barrel.
OPEC nations buy U.S. grain at $7.00 a bushel.
Solution: Sell grain for $136.00 a bushel.
Can't buy it?? Tough!?? Eat your oil! It ought to go well with a nice thick grilled filet of camel rump!!!

********************************************************

only to appease the mass(es)

Apparently a few folks miss me. I don't know how boring your life is but it's gotta be pretty high on the boredom scale to be asking ME to blog, but hey, who am I to judge? LOL


Alrighty then...... let's see........ what's been going on........


Ah, Vegas.


My mother took me to Las Vegas for my 36th birthday. My birthday was (is) April 25th, which was on a Friday this year. We actually left the Sunday before and returned the Thursday before so that I'd still be home for my family on my actual birthday because, well, that's just how things are. Our flight was scheduled to depart at 3:00 p.m. so of course we left the house shortly after 8:00 a.m. My dear, sweet, gambling addicted mother wanted to make a pit stop at Cherokee Casino in Tulsa before we went to the air port. I, of course, was on vacation so I did not care what was going on, I was just out to have FUN. We both played a little and we both lost what little we played. Mom's a smoker and that particular casino has "no smoking" areas and the lines are a little blurred on where exactly the boundaries are so Mom asked a casino employee if this one particular section was smoking or non-smoking and she was told that it was smoking so she lit one up. Dang near immediately, three gamblers verbally assaulted my mother and treated her like a freaking lepper. We spent a minimal amount of time and money in that casino and headed off for the Tulsa International Airport.

The TIA is pretty big. Lots of gates, lots of restaurants, lots of bathrooms....... However, amongst the lots and lots, there is only ONE smoking area. My poor, poor mother had to go outside to smoke. So sad..... Hmmmmm, I have no pity for her. LOL

We got to the TIA oodles of hours early to guarantee that we'd be seated on the plane together. It worked. We were seated together, the only problem was that we were in the farkin' absolute rear of the plane and I couldn't hear anything. We sat next to a real estate agent who lived in the Las Vegas area. She was in Tulsa to handle her father's business. She talked my ear off. Oh, how I wished I had an MP3 player....... seriously. I just wanted to sit and relax, but she had tons of legal questions. Damn, why did I tell her I worked for an attorney?


So, we land and the views are amazing. You can see the tarmac and the Luxor pyramid and the mountains and palm trees and so much more!! So beautiful, so much to take in. We take our shuttle to the MGM Grand and oh my was it amazing!! The MGM Grand lobby was phenomenal. You walk in the doors and the scent of the most amazing roses just envelopes you. It's a virtual assault on both your eyes and your nose. Truly amazing. Our room was on the 20th floor. Sadly, we didn't have a view of the strip, we could see the monorail train though. Our room was plush. Very plush. We had the most divine beds! They were so soft and cushioney and the pillows were wonderful! Our bathroom was marble and HUGE!!!!!!! I love it.


We didn't spend too much time in the room at first. We had the strip to explore and did we ever! We went to New York, NY, M&M World, Tropicana, Flamingo, Belagio, Treasure Island, Planet Hollywood and more...... so many more! We walked until after midnight. I think we ate dinner at Panda Express, a quickie Chinese restaurant, on the strip. We were just overwhelmed with all the options.


Monday we shopped and gambled and explored and made plans to go to the Hoover Dam. It was an amazing day!! We had so much fun! The casinos have some of the same games as our local haunts do but there are a lot of different ones too. One thing I didn't like was how you had to hit the "bet" button each time before you hit "spin" or whatever. It was rather annoying. Their machines don't pay out as well as these do either. Oh well, I was there to shop, not gamble.


Tuesday we went to the Hoover Dam and took the whole damn tour. hehehe Or was it the whole dam tour? I had a ton of damn dam jokes.....

After the dam tour, I had plans to go to Trader Joe's. I had spoken with the Concierge at MGM Grand and mapped my route. I was told the taxi would cost me around $40 each way. I was prepared. I wanted to go to Trader Joe's. So, we leave the dam and stop at heaven, er, um, Ethel M's Chocolate Factory in Henderson, Nevada. Henderson, Nevada. A good 20 minutes from Las Vegas. I load up on $3 chocolate bars and walk through the factory like I own the place. Oh god the aroma was amazing....... Sadly it was a short stop and we were back on the bus within minutes. Then, about 5 minutes later we were approaching an intersection and I looked up and saw Trader Joe's! The bus driver had just said we didn't have to depart at our hotels, he'd drop us off where ever we wanted as long as it was on his route. I quickly asked him if I could get off HERE, HERE, HERE at Trader Joe's and he slowed down some because there was a traffic light and I hopped off the moving bus. After I walked across the street it hit me. I was only about 15 minutes from the dam. The dam was a good 40 minutes from the hotel. SHIT. I wasn't at the Trader Joe's in Las Vegas, I WAS STILL IN HENDERSON!!!!!!!!!!! SHIT!

So I'll spare you all my panic but basically a I had a melt down in the check out line and a very nice Realtor who promised me she wasn't an ax murderer drove me back to Las Vegas. She dropped me off at the Hard Rock Cafe and Casino which was where I wanted to go. Major screw up folks, major. But hey, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Tuesday night mom got sick. Very sick. She didn't eat breakfast that morning and then since we separated I didn't make her eat lunch and even though I told her to she didn't so when she did eat she ate too fast and made herself sick. Sick like puking up bile while we were in the elevator. Then stopping on the 19th floor and puking like nobody's business. Then back in the elevator and puking in the 20th floor elevator lobby area. All across the marble floors....... there was no escaping her vomit volcano. Nasty.........

She spent all of Wednesday in bed. I, of course, went shopping after I made sure she had plenty of water, soup, Pepto Bismol and anything else she wanted. All she wanted though was to sleep and have quiet. She wanted me to go but be available if she needed anything and I was happy to oblige. I toured Ceasar's Palace, the Forum Shops, the Belagio Hotel, the Miracle Mile, the outlet mall, oh, I did sooooooo much and had so much fun ALONE!!!!!!! It was amazing!!!!!!!

Mom got better and Thursday we had a wonderful early breakfast and headed off to the airport for the ride back home. I came home with $50. Not broke but nothing to blog about.

Since I've been home lots has happened but I've been a terrible shit and haven't shared anything. I'll try to keep up better now that I've posted this.

Here are a few of the highlights:

Miss Whineyhiney had her 8th grade promotion, she will be a Freshman in the fall..... oh my god!!!!!

Miss Whineyhiney also had a speaking part in the National Junior Honor Society induction program, I'm so proud of her!!

Bob was transferred from production to a different department, service, at work.

Then they laid off 15 people and he was transferred back to hell, er, production. FOR ONE FARCKING DAY. After one day, they "lent" him back to service.

Then they opened up his old (new) service job for bidding again and he re-bid for it.

Then he spent a miserable weekend worrying that he didn't get the service job again because he was "bidder 3" for the 2 open spots.

BUT ALAS HE DID GET IT! WOO HOO! So now he's happy, today.......

He's had it, lost it, had it, lost it so many times I don't know for sure but as of today he's still there.

I'm done with PTSO.

We bought a pop-up camper and we're ready to camp, as long as the weather holds up and the ATV's run...... nope, we haven't used it yet. LOL

We did get our "stimulus check". Then the Jeep broke down and the there went the stimulus check.

Mother's Day weekend, Bob got sick, went to the ER twice in one day, ended up being admitted and he spent Mother's Day and our 18th wedding anniversary in the hospital.

Also Mother's Day weekend, my best friend had a stroke and I spent the majority of the weekend with her in the ER and hospital.

And, also on the Saturday before Mother's Day, an EF-4 tornado wiped out nearly half of the city of Picher, Oklahoma. Sadly, there were lives lost....... I can't write any more on that topic.

Gas is $3.859 around here. Bob put in $93.xx+ yesterday and I cried........

Again, I know there's more but I'm brain dead. Stay tuned, I'll try to post pics in a few days.

I started this post on May 10th, I'm ending it on June 10th...... so sad.

Out of the loooooooooooop

Tomorrow I leave for vacation. MY vacation. No kid, no husband. Just me. Ok, my mother is going with me, I'm supposed to be her chaperone, but hey, she's a big girl. There will be a pool and shopping and a spa. I will be there, who the hell knows where she'll be?

Yesterday, I had a wonderful spa pedicure, it was their deluxe kind..... don't ask me what that means, I have no idea. I think the deluxe is when they dip your feet in hot wax AND you get an extended massage. Sweeeeeeeeeeeet. Either way, I had a coupon, I was goin' for broke. LOL

So I'm all packed and ready to go. I've just got to wait another 25 more hours or so...... sheesh, who said time flies?

complete and utter randomness

I just put an Atomic Fireball in my mouth. Soooooo stupid of me. I can't talk. I should have known better. Sometimes my lack of self control amazes myself. Idiot.

Miss Whineyhiney had a Rotary Club luncheon yesterday where she received an award for being in the top 10% of her class. I am so damned proud of her it's insane. She's such a remarkable young woman. There were only 15 students there, she's wicked smart. I don't know where it comes from.

I have two amazingly adorable nephews who have a super-fantastic mother who sends me the most freakin' adorable pictures and little cell phone videos of them. She rocks. My youngest adorable nephew, Danny, has a strong resemblence to Uncle Fester on the Addams Family. He's too cute for words. I just know that someday he'll dress up in a mink coat and put a light bulb in his mouth. I just hope it's for Halloween or for money, not merely for my personal pleasure and enjoyment. LOL Here's the latest and greatest pic of this little mischevious cutiepatootie.

There are only 3 weeks and 4 days left until I depart for VEGAS. I'm so freakin' excited! WOO HOO! Anyone care to send me some money to gamble on? I'll split my winnin's with ya!

Bob is making plans. Plans to build a garage. Plans to remodel the back part of our house. Our laundry room and my pantry will be converted to a 3/4 bath, my new pantry will be about 4 feet wide and go from floor to ceiling. My laundry room will be moved to where my back door is now. The back door will be where one of the windows is now and we'll add on a nice, large deck. And, here's the kicker, I'll get a new kitchen too. Sweeeeeeeeeeet. And, if that ain't wonderful enough, Bob even said he'd try to put down tile in all of the remodeled area. Holy shit. He wants something....... *tap, tap, tap, chews on end of pencil* What could it be? Oh, yeah, he's getting a garage. First.

Our friends, Cruella & the ol' Cody Coyote will not be joining us for our usual April rondevouz. Bob is leaving for a turkey hunting trip during the time that they come down. I won't get to see them until CHRISTMAS! Dammit!! I miss my friends........

I know there's more to write about but I'm starting to lose the Atomic Fireball heat in my mouth so I think I'll go get myself some coffee.

Lesson of the Day

Sale vs. Sell

Do you know the difference between SALE and SELL?

Sale is when an item being sold. For sale is just for sale. On sale is on sale. Cheaper than the normal selling price. An item can be on sale and for sale but never, ever, ever can it be for sell. You can sell your sale items for sale while they're onsale (it's called a mark down) but just because something is for sale does not make it ON sale. UGH. Sell if usually past or future tense rather than present tense.

Sale is pronounced like sail, bail, frail, pail, rail.
Sell is pronounced like bell, fell, tell, spell, hell.

There is a difference between HELL and HAIL just as their is a difference between SELL and SALE.

I'm not going to get into the sail and cell issue here.

Also, there are 2 (TWO) "D"'s in didn't. It's not pronounced as dent or din'nt. DID'NT. not DIN'NT. not DIN'T.

Someone please, find the grammar police and send them to my life!

snippits from hell

It's not Whiney Wednesday but I really don't give a fuck so tough.

On December 28th my DISH receiver went out. It's the dual tuner one in my bedroom and DISH has tried to resolve the sitation but they suck ass and now, nearly 10 weeks later, I still don't have a replacement receiver. They UPS'd me one and left it on my door step in January. I don't know what happened to it but I didn't get it. They shipped another but it was a single tuner so I shipped that sucker back. Now they're charging me $199 for the "missing" January box so I'm seriously having words with Punjab from India and his inbred sister/supervisor Aiyana. They now officially have one week or I'll find alternative satellite service.

For the past 2 weeks or so I've blown my nose at least 3,841,947 times. At least. The majority of those times though, I've snotted all over my hand. Please tell me how you do that? I've had a Kleenex every fucking time! How does my nose miss the damned thing?

My sister got a new roof and some amazingly beautiful new windows put into her lovely home. I want so badly to go to Illinois to see her but the reality is WHEN? I have one week of vacation time and I'm using it in April when I go to Las Vegas with my mother. Hellooooooooo. What was I thinking? Can someone please call my therapist and tell them to UP THE DRUGS!

Does anyone know where you can buy fanny packs anymore? I'm needing to buy 2 of them for the Vegas trip but I haven't been able to find one locally. Ebay has several but none of them have "jumped" out at me yet. Weird......

Do you know of anyone who's ever been proposed to by text message? Nope? Hmmm, wish I could say the same. Sad part is I know the proposee and the proposer! So sad...... He soooooooo doesn't deserve her and thank GOD and all that is holy she had the brains to not show up!

Miss Whineyhiney has pre-enrolled for high school. *picks up self off floor* HIGH SCHOOL. I am the mother of an 8th grader. In 3 short months, I will be the mother of a Freshman. What's up with THAT? Hellooooooo, am I really that old?

Girl Scout cookies are almost done. I have 4 orders to deliver still and 2 orders to ship out. Let's hope I can do that this week...... who am I kidding? Let's hope I can do that before MWH is a Sophomore!

blah, blah, blah

There's so much to post and say but this isn't the right forum for it....... It's personal and NOT blog material. Sorry. Get your own life and get out of mine if you're that needy. LOL

Miss Whineyhiney is doing fine. Her eye has healed well. The girl who punched her got a mere 3 days of suspension. I am sooooooooooo not pleased with that little disciplinary action. Her parents refused to meet with us so we've turned it all over to Juvenile Services and the District Attorney - who have not contacted me back yet....... ugh

Bob & MWH went with me last Friday to the Rick Springfield concert at Buffalo Run. For an old fart, he puts on one hell of a show! I was thouroughly impressed. I *heart* The Human Touch. Although I didn't like how he sang it. He came out in the crowd and it just didn't sound right. Rick was literally 2 feet in front of me. I could have reached out and touched him if I'd wanted to. Way cool.

Saturday night we went to a bar/restaraunt in Joplin that has cajun food, Bob's fave. While we were there, I got some Mardi Gras beads and didn't even have to show my boobs. LOL Very cool. I really love me some good gater meat......... Can't beat that. AND, if gator meat ain't cool enough for ya, I saw one of the cast members of Trick My Truck there!! Bob didn't believe it was him but I asked our waitress AND I WAS RIGHT! (as if there were any doubts..... *scoffs*)

If you're not my sister, stop reading here. The rest ain't none of your business. If you ARE my sister, keep reading.

Thanks for being there. Thanks for listening to me ramble. Thanks for calling me just to say "hi" and tell me that you love me. Thanks for sending me video clips of my too adorable, too cute, two nephews. Thanks for being you.

2007 vs 2008

I thought (there's the first sign there'll be a problem) that 2007 sucked ass and that 2008 would be the relief I needed to get past such a sorry year.

But damn how I was wrong.

In December, due to the ice storm we had no electricity for 9, NINE, days. We had a small generator running the heat but we couldn't run anything else really. Heat and the bathroom light for 9 days. My life sucked. I didn't put up a Christmas tree. I didn't do anything to decorate. I could barely muster up enough strength to do anything. Our house suffered some damage too. A tree branch poked a hole the size of my head above our bedroom. Another tree branch brought down part of our chain link fence. We had limbs down everywhere and we only have 3 trees in our entire yard. It looked like a warzone. We lost everything in our deep freeze, refrigerator and top freezer. Nearly $1,000 worth of meat (Bob had gotten a deer and I had bought a ton of hamburger over the summer).

(I'm home now, hello Jose, my new name is Margarita)

So, ice storm, no electricity, no tv, no nothing but heat and a light in the shitter. Yeah, fun. NOT. I'm a true 80's child so SIKE or PSYCH is completely acceptable language here. Whatever. More margarita please........ Alrighty then....... Hey, Martha Stewart is funny......... oh, where was I? OK, no power, no Christmas tree, no money for gifts, yeah, life sucked. Anyway, Christmas comes and goes. Let's don't and say we did. And now it's 2008 and, well, it still sucks. The ice damage has to be fixed. We have yet another severe windstorm and my roof is shot. I have 3 layers of shingles ON TOP OF WOOD SHAKES. Hello, KY Jelly, please send me a dozen or so cases of your shit cause I'm about to take it up the ass in a big way.

The roofers come, two if by land, three if by sea (more margarita please) and give quotes. Bob and I weight options of faking our death for the measly $25K of life insurance (more margarita please) vs taking out a loan to get the roof fixed (WTF is wrong with my glass?, MORE MARGARITA PLEASE!!!!!!!!) Margarita salt...in my nose....... how did that happen.... just what is that stuff? Do you need to adhere it with lime or will water work? Oh, yeah..... roofers. Ew, some of them seriously need to bathe. And have dental work. Yeah, we pick a roofer who doesn't' need his teeth sandblasted and who is licensed and bonded. His crew takes only 4 days to annihilate my roof and throw the new one on. Amazing. Damn, thank God I have a backspace key to fix typos........ Mark Barone..... ya think he's a little light in the loafers? (still watching Martha Stewart) (more margarita please) New roof in 4 days. Ok, I forgot what I was saying.

Oh, the trauma of my life that could have brought me to tears last week (or was it the week before?) well, it's temporarily resolved. For now. We'll see what happens in a few weeks. Shit could hit the fan still but for now I won't be altering my life.

Hey, have you thought about putting those stupid, ugly, insanely expensive light bulbs in your sockets yet? I have. I've got 8 bulbs changed so far and all I have left is my damned ceiling fans and those are the expensive ones..... like $4 each bulb and there are 4 bulbs needed per freaking fan. Martha's over, now it's Jon & Kate plus 8, also known as the poster parents for birth control.

I forgot what I was talking about........

MARGARITA

Oh, roofers...... roof's done, damn good job, highly recommend. Broke, never be able to afford toilet paper again.......

I have more to discuss about the drama at school last Thursday regarding my precious, amazing, light-of-my-life, wonderful, perfect, amazing kid getting assaulted at school. Can't type now at all, the Jose Cuervo is kicking in too well but it's one hell of a story.

Hey, where's my glass...... is it immature to drink margaritas from a Shrek glass you got from McDonald's?

Life's Challenges

I'm not going into details here because it's not technically MY drama, it's a family members but I need to vent and I need to post here so here goes.

Every 2nd Monday of the month, I try to go to Owasso to a support group. It's for people who have had WLS but I joke that it's for AA. It's really for WLS people though so if I see you and tell you I was at an AA meeting, don't believe me. Three or four of us carpool down there to Owasso. It's in a wonderful, clean, pristine, new hospital there that is a great facility to have it at BUT it's in the middle of nowhere. The shortest way there is to exit at Claremore and drive about 25 miles on back roads. By the time we get down there it's dark and the roads are windy and I don't know where the hell I'm going so I'm ever so grateful to have my friends with me to tell me where to go so if/when we get lost it's not entirely my fault (I drive my friend's van). BUT, after my day this weekend, things changed.

We had a major upset at home and while I'm not going into details let's just say it's life altering.

So, I needed to get out. I needed the fellowship of my friends and I seriously planned on going SOMEWHERE. I did really want to go to Tulsa, the drive would have been very refreshing, but the location of the facility is hard for me and I found out that my other friends probably weren't going to be going. One was but the other wasn't and we take her van (one of the ladies who goes may be too large to fit in my Jeep). The hospital is not in an area I'm familiar with and I didn't want to end up in a ditch or hit a deer and be completely alone. So I didn't go. I should have gone but I didn't.

I had planned on leaving work early to help my daughter sell Girl Scout cookies but I didn't. I was too upset. I called her school and had them send her a note that asked her to go home with a friend for a little while. Bob had to work over (THANK GOD!) so I had the house to myself for a full 90 minutes. I sat down and cried. I started dinner. I cried. I went over my bills. I cried. I paid bills that should have been paid last week and the week before (I'm ahead, they weren't past due) but I didn't have time to do it. I cried. I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher. I cried. I washed the towels. I cried. I folded 3 loads of laundry that was left on the couch. I cried. My last chore was to climb a ladder and replace 5 incandescent light bulbs with the new energy effecient yet terribly expensive flourescent ones. You have to know though that I'm deathly afraid of heights. I'm 5'5" and I'm too tall if you ask me. If I fall it hurts. I should be shorter but I'm not. I should be swaddled in bubble wrap every morning before I set foot out of bed. So, after more tears, I climbed that damned step ladder and replaced bulbs. Once, twice, three times...... finally, on the fourth time I didn't need to hold onto a wall. The fifth one didn't get replaced because it was time for me to go get MWH but it's fine. I did it. I was up there at my own free will and by God I did it. I can do this. I am strong. No matter what happens in this situation, I'll be ok. We'll be ok. I can tackle that little blue step ladder and anything that comes my way.

Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

The Thanksgiving holiday is behind us, or under our belt (ha ha, puns intended!) and I'm so glad that Christmas is coming! I'm ready for the cold weather that we're experiencing and simply can't wait for snow! December looks to be a rabid month. I have Christmas parades, my office party, Bob's work party, a trip to Kansas City to see an old grade school friend and to go shopping, a Girl's Night Out with my bestest and oldest friend from 3rd grade AND I have plans to go dress shopping with another friend! Dress shopping!? Seriously!!!!!!!!! Ok, maybe I won't get a dress but I will be getting something festive! I've got two holiday parties to go to so by God I'm going shopping!

Like an idiot, I did the Black Friday shopping in Joplin. The sales weren't great but I did get a few decent buys and I'm glad to have gone. Too bad Mrs. Coach wasn't with me or Zale's would be short one pair of 5/8 carat earrings. Maybe next year.......

Friday afternoon I got to see my amazingly funny sister, her super nice husband and their fantasticly awesome boys (MY NEPHEWS!!!!!!!!!). We had a wonderful visit and I really do hope we can make it to St. Louis for Christmas! I keep saying that and it never works out but dammit I'm going to try again!

Thursday, Miss Whineyhiney is getting her braces put on. That sounds scarey but so wonderful! It took me almost eighteen months but I got the money saved up for it and it's finally a reality! Sadly though, her trip to Washinton, DC, has been cancelled. I'm going to lose almost $200 in that fucking ordeal and I'm sooooooooooooo not happy about it. I'm so angry right now that words just can not express my fury. That's a lot of money and my refund won't be here before Christmas so I can't even use that money for the holidays! DAMMIT!

This weekend we went to Fayetteville and Rogers, Arkansas to go shopping. I am sooooo happy that we went! I found TWO new shopping centers that I freakin' adore and can't wait to go back to! First we hit the Northwest Arkansas Mall in Fayetteville. Which is a traditional indoor mall. We didn't get to crawl the whole mall but we did make a nice dent! I can't wait to go back and hit the other half! The second we hit was Pinnacle Hills Promenade in Rogers. This one is an open air, outdoor mall like the Branson Landing! They have a Williams-Sonoma and a PF Chang's!!!!!! YUM!!!!!!!!

This weekend, with any luck, I may be going back to Tulsa and I want to hit Utica Square! We'll see...... the parade is Saturday night so I'm not sure if we'll make it or not.

I have more to write, more to say, more to do but unfortunately no time.

Dreaded Sounds

This morning at 3:18am, I awoke to an unfamiliar sound. My daughter woke me up with the sounds of her wretching. She had never puked in her life prior to this morning. Seriously. She gagged once, but real vomiting had never happened before. I got her cleaned up and tucked her back into bed and about 15 minutes later she was making a bee line for the toilet again. Sadly however, she missed. She vomited every 30 to 45 minutes after that until around 6:00 am when, bless her heart, she passed out from sheer exhaustion.

I had lots of stuff to do at work today too..... Clients coming in to see me. Specific people I was supposed to call back this morning. Two divorces to fine tune and finish...... None of it will be happening now though.

My baby girl needs me......

Popular Demand (and bribery)

My sister (the one who will kindly accept my kidney) has brought it to my attention that I haven't been blogging lately.

I don't have much time so I'll do some quick pictoral updating.

Here's me and my new friend Jason at the Murder Mystery. Jason was drunk, his girlfriend was with him the whole night, but we had a wonderful time despite her. LOL No, nothing happened, it was just hilarious! I love drunk people.

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Here's me and my co-workers at my boss's Halloween Party.

My wonderful sister (yes, the one who will STILL accept my kidney or other live saving, vital organ) sent me some pictures of the two Bestest Nephews Ever but for some reason Blogger isn't cooperating with me on putting their pictures up.

So, what else have I done lately?

*My kid has turned 14. Let me say that again........ f o u r t e e e e e e e e n. It just rolls off the tongue. She had a sleep over and a separate "family" party. Tons of fun, really.

*I was dragged by chaperoned 4 teens to the Right Choices Corn Maze (yeah, I'm stupid).

*Bob went hunting in the Kiamichi Mountains (no, Bigfoot did not eat him)

*I had 5 days of peace and quiet while he was gone - OK, who am I kidding, all I did was run around like a raving lunatic and HAVE FUN!!!!!!

*I was dragged by chaperoned 4 teens to yet another Coleman Mystery Tour (yeah, I'm still stupid).

*I had two Pampered Chef parties and have booked 2 more!!

I know there are lots more things I have to blog about but I'm too damned busy, maybe later though, maybe later........

No, no, no, no, no, no!!!!!!!!

The Jeep is in the shop. They're replacing rear end parts that they replaced last year.

I saw a ginormous slug this morning as I was getting into Bob's truck to come to work. Slugs, they scare the snot out of me......

My printer at work is broken and Dell is sending me a new one. It'll be here Friday but now I have to use someone else's printer to print envelopes and labels.

I just burned my lip on my coffee. Ouch.

I just found my nephew's birthday card. His birthday party was Saturday. Shit. Happy (belated) Birthday Danny, Aunt April is a ditz who doesn't know how to put a sticker on an envelope and drop it in a slot.

Bob's truck is out of gas so I get to do that during my lunch hour. Joy, thy name is April.

Miss Whineyhiney has a math project on probabilities due tomorrow. Guess who'll be hot gluing dice and cards tonight WHILE cooking dinner.

Speaking of dinner, I had a brain fart this weekend and bought a waffle maker so we're having waffles. Why did I do that? Pizza Hut delivers perfectly good pizzas, sandwiches and salads, why did I bring in such labor intensive devices into my home?

Ok, I have to go now. I have a date with destiny. Watch for my full name to be mentioned on the noon news, you know, how they say "John Wayne Gacy" or "Orenthal James Simpson".

Yeah, today may be the day I snap. LOL Why couldn't I have just had ebola or some other disease that would have kept me in bed all day?

Vacation, baby!

I'm home from Wyoming. We left Thursday, August 23rd I think. I know it was a Thursday. Bob's been sick for the past week and it's been very bad, very bad...... I can't tell you how bad. He missed work Tuesday, I thought we were going to have to go to the ER. We didn't but he missed work Tuesday, took off early Wednesday for an MRA (which I think they ended up giving him an MRI instead but we'll figure that out later) and he wasn't any better Thursday so he stayed home again. He should NOT have went on vacation but he did. He's ok now, sort of. This illness is weird, we don't know what sets it off or what helps it, it just hits, debilitates him and then as magically and mysteriously as it reared it's head it disappears.


So, here's a run down of our trip:



THURSDAY:
Bob didn't go to work again today, he was sick again so he rested and tried to sleep. Sleep is very hard for him, he can't unwind. Thankfully he was feeling not so sick by about 3:00 so I took off at 4:00 and we departed Miami at 4:30pm. I was smart and loaded the Jeep Wednesday night. This ain't my first rodeo ya know...... The drive across Kansas is nothing less than boring. Boring..... I hate Kansas (I'm from Kansas, born and raised there). We spent the night in Concordia, KS, I think. We should have driven on to York, NE, but for some reason we stopped.... Weird.


FRIDAY:
More driving...... Nebraska has little to offer in the scenery department. We stopped in Sidney at the Cabela's store. Bob was in heaven. MWH was in awe (again) at the mounted elephant they have in there, it really is cool. We all love the stuffed animals in the store, beautiful. We had lunch in the deli there at Cabela's and Bob had elk. Yummmmm. Back on the road, I got us lost near the Nebraska/Wyoming border. Ok, we weren't lost, we were on a road that was running WITH the road we wanted but at some point in time the roads split and I didn't notice. Both roads ended up at the same place but one was better and one sucked. We were on the sucky one. Bob yelled. I sighed. MWH just read her books. LOL We lost about an hour of time due to my little navigational glitch but we still got there. We crossed Wyoming in record time and arrived in Cody at 8:30 pm. What did we do when we got to Cody? Cruella and I went to Wal-Mart. Yep, I drove 1,100 miles to go to Wal-Mart. LOL Actually, their WM isn't all that bad, they've got more things than our store does and the tax is only 5% so it rocks. Tax was only 4% last year but they're putting in a pool in Meeteetse (about 25 miles south of Cody) and they raised the tax county-wide. Hmph, politicks.


SATURDAY:
We got up bright and early and headed to the main drag and for shopping! I went to the Wyoming Buffalo Company for some jerky for my office homies. LOL I got some souvenirs for myself too, I rarely ever do that...... I even got myself a beautiful sterling silver anklet at Greg and Sue's B-Dazzled... Again. Greg and Sue are friends of friends of ours (we went to a 4th of July party at their house a few years ago too so I guess they are OUR friends too and Greg resized my rings last year for free so he must really like me) and Greg just lost his leg in a motorcycle accident a few weeks ago. His son, Shawn, is watching the shop, he's a great jeweler too. I feel so bad for Greg..... he's such a sweet, sweet man.


After I bought the souvenirs, I mailed a care package to the office and we went to lunch at the Willow Fence Tea Room. Beautiful, elegant and very refined...... It's pretty much reservations only and it's off the beaten path so you've got to know about it. You don't just drive by and see it. The lady sells a million different kinds of loose tea and oh my god it's all so good! She has the best scones and devonshire cream! TO DIE FOR!!!! I wanted to bring back Butter Bells for my friends but she didn't have all the colors I wanted and I wanted a discount off the price because I was buying so many. I can get them online for less but I do like Loretta and wanted to support her but damn, I didn't want to be treated like a freakin' tourist! I didn't buy the bells there but I did find two different kinds (one marble one and one porcelain one) at Love's (a wicked cool kitchen store) and some mini crock ones at a store in Powell. I wish they had the bigger ones in Powell because they were exactly what I wanted to bring back...... but they were sold out. My luck! UGH!


SUNDAY:
Cruella & the ol' Coyote went to church so Bob and MWH and I went to town for breakfast at the quarter coffee shop (remind me not to go there again, it was ok, but not repeat worthy). We trinky dinked around town and drove out to the east gate at Yellowstone. Cody is about an hour from the park and the drive is beautiful. It's pretty much all Shoshone (translated: stinking water) National Forest and you're pretty much guaranteed to see some wild life. Sometimes black tailed deer, sometimes antelope, sometimes elk or moose and we even saw some big horn sheep once! Way kewl!!!!! We stopped at the Pahaska gift shop at the gate and looked around a bit, they have some boxer shorts that I'm seriously eyeballing.... Very funny drawers. This road goes through this town called Wapiti, I love saying Wapiti, I say it fast, three times. It cracks me up. Yeah, it doesn't take much. LOL



MONDAY:
Cruella and I headed north to Montana, big sky country. Billings, Montana, about 2 hours due north of Cody. The boys took the ATV's to Shell (about 2 hours away too but in a slightly different direction, northeast). Cruella, MWH and I hit the big city in due time. If you've never been to a Costco, it's an experience unlike any other. They are similar to Sam's Club but are a slightly cheaper on some things, their stock isn't quite as good as Sam's but they sell a few items that Sam's doesn't carry, like coffins. Yeah, when I die, could someone please run to Costco (there's one in Kansas City I think) and buy me a coffin so a particular local mortician who shall remain nameless doesn't defile me? LOL Actually, I'm totally joking, I want to be cremated.

Montana has no sales tax so people buy things in bulk. Major bulk. I kid you not I saw one family loading toilet paper and basic necessities in the back of a campered truck, when I first noticed them by there were about 7 flat bed carts full of merchandise (staple things like cereals, paper goods, two coolers, charcoal...), the man loading was deep in the bed of the truck, when I saw them again, all but one of the flat beds were empty and the man was standing outside the truck bed.


We went to Costco, Office Depot, Shopko, Target, Best Buy, Big K, Wal-Mart and I don't know where else. I did find me one super bargain I couldn't resist. I found two microSD cards for my and Bob's cell phones. Now we can download more ringtones and take more pictures and we can save them to the SD cards rather than bluetooth them. Sometimes I can't get the camera kiosk at Wal-Mart to accept the bluetooth, now I can save it to the SD card and be done with it! The cards are between $25 and $30 and I got them for $13 each! I love me a good bargain!! I loved Shopko, I wish we had one of those stores here! They are like an upscale Target, they have LEI (junior's jeans) and nicer stuff but at truly decent prices. I was impressed!! I also love, love, love the fact that Montana has no sales tax! Even Wal-Mart is OK if you don't have sales tax! LOL Actually, the Wal-Mart stores up here carry a lot of different things so it's really like a whole different store, sorta.



We got home and went to Zapatas for dinner, yummooooooooo! They have some mighty fine beans! I normally don't like beans but these were good!



TUESDAY:
We just hung around town and shopped, ah, to relax on vacation..... that's the good life!


WEDNESDAY & THURSDAY:
Wednesday night when we checked in to the Old Faithful Inn at Yellowstone, we heard someone say something about NBC's Tom Brokaw being there. Then, later, Robert and I went to the bar and this half Australian half Swiss man was cracking me up telling me (and Robert) jokes and he too said that Tom Brokaw was there at the Inn shooting footage for the Today Show. Robert and I walked around for a while looking for him but we never saw him.

We get up to leave the Inn Thursday morning, we were circling the parking lot so I could take a picture of the Inn from a distance and I said out loud "Darn it, I wish we could have seen Tom Brokaw!" and I kid you not THERE HE WAS!!!!! Not 15 feet from us!

So, big mouth me, I yell out of the window, "Hey Tom! May I take your picture?" (yeah, I asked and said "may I"). He replied back "I'd rather you not, once the cameras start for the day they never end" and he kind of sighed. I said back to him "Thank you anyway, I was just getting ready to take a picture of the Inn" and he said "Just tell all your friends we talked". There were a few other sentences of banter but that was the jist of it. He was very nice but looked like the park had kicked his butt already that morning. It was barely 8:00 am, if then, he looked rough. So, I did NOT take his picture then but as I was taking pictures of the Inn (which was truly my intent to begin with) I did get his back side. I have four other witnesses who can vouch for me, this truly is Tom Brokaw (he's got the orange parka and the tan pants). Tom looked very, very tired. He didn't have any make up on and his face was very blotchy (he had super red cheeks like me). He didn't look like he had a good night at all.

FRIDAY:
Sadly, this was our last day of Cody. Of Cruella & the ol' Coyote..... so sad.

We were on the road shortly after dawn. Yawning and gassed up, we headed south towards Colorado. The drive home was long and challenging. Colorado kicked my ass. Denver, Colorado Springs..... damn. I could write about it but I'm exhausted and it's just not going to happen. LOL

SATURDAY:
We hit home around 10:00 pm and wow were we exhausted. We drove through Dodge City and Wichita today, a very long day. I'm glad to be home.

Photoblogging

Here are some pics of me in my younger years. The red ball pic is me at about 18 months, the red vest is about age 4 and the God awful brown dress pic is about age 5, kindergarten I think.

I figured I'd post these myself rather than some tabloid in the future, you know, after I win Publisher's Clearing House or become famous for mass murder.

Yeah, don't think I haven't considered it.

Beauty Is As Beauty Does, Precious Peace, Blissful Baking, Pampered Chef Parties, Sadness Via Cell Phone and Painted Prettiness!

BEAUTY IS AS BEAUTY DOES
Miss Whineyhiney is a normal 13 year old girl who loves her hair. She has beautiful hair and I don't know where in the hell it came from. Blonde and straight with just a slight wave...... I'm so fucking jealous of her...... UGH! Anyway, Friday she got highlights and lowlights and damn it put 2 years on her. She looks so mature, so freakin' scary. Eighth grade is going to kick my ass. I know there will be boys, it's going to be a long, long year. I don't know how much highlights and lowlights normally cost because we go to the beauty college but let me tell you if it were much more expensive I'd have to sell one of my kidneys! OUCH!

PRECIOUS PEACE
Miss Whineyhiney has two best friends. One goes to her dad's house in Washinton for the summer, they stay in touch via email and cell phones. Her other best friend stays here but she is active in dance and has a different sleep schedule than MWH so they don't see each other either. She also stays in touch via email and cell phones even though she's less than a mile away. Ah, technology. Well, the Washinton girl got home last week and so this Friday night the girls got together and had their summer Girls' Night Out, their last big bash before school starts. FUN. So after the beauty shop makeover I dropped her off at her friends' house for their GNO. It does my heart good to see her happy, it's so nice that she has friends like that....

And, if my kid being happy (and gone) isn't enough, my husband went to Springfield on a little trip of his own. Yes, I was alone for an entire evening...... A L O N E Ahhhh, the words just roll off my tongue like.......like.......oh hell, there are no words.

BLISSFUL BAKING
So, no kid, no husband, what should I do? I baked. My 4th Pampered Chef party was Saturday and I was going to be demonstrating a warm chocolate cup cake recipe so I decided to make the recipe Friday evening so I wouldn't look like a complete and total idiot. It was so nice to have the house to myself, to be able to do what I wanted, when I wanted, where I wanted. To fart in peace with no one telling me to spray something........ Ah, heaven.

The cupcakes turned out beautifully and were to die for. I took some over to the girls, called a friend and had some foiled up for her and her son to take home and when Bob did get home he ate one or two (or three). They were good. Rich, chocolate, coffee and cream...... Have mercy!

PAMPERED CHEF PARTIES
Thursday I closed my third party, a catalog show, and Saturday I did my fourth show, a cooking show. I get entirely too excited about these stupid shows. I drag every Pampered Chef thing I own to them and I'm thinking that my Jeep just isn't big enough. I really do have a great time though, it's just so damned fun! I would LOVE to do it full time but I don't sell well, I just love to do it. LOL I know it's expensive, but I love the gadgets, I just do it for me and no one else. My goal is 2 shows a month and I've met my goal this month already so I guess I'm done. We'll see though...... I do have one scheduled for September and one for October already so I am booking up fast!! WOO HOO!

SADNESS VIA CELL PHONE
Mrs. Coach's precious grandma is having some major health concerns. Mrs. C has been texting me all weekend keeping me informed about her status. It ain't good people, if you believe in God, please, please pray. Pray for Grandma and pray for Mrs. C and her family. They're good people, I hate that she's feelin' pain.

PAINTED PRETTINESS
It's taken two months but my office is finally complete! Bob hung my shelf today so I could move the book case and other furniture around and I love it! WOO HOO! He finished the painting behind the book case and took down the ugly blinds so now my office is beautiful and done! I think I'll find some pretty art work and maybe a mirror or a clock for decorations but the major stuff is done! Finally! It's all mine and I love it!!!!!!

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Tomorrow starts the new week and I'm not sure this weekend was long enough. Actually I'm positive it wasn't long enough. I can't complain though because I did what I wanted to, I just wanted to do more than what I had time for. Ah, life.

Mystery Blogger suggests Joke Of The Day

A man, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to his wife, "I feel horrible, I look fat, ugly and out of shape. Pay me a compliment."

The wife replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

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Thank you Mystery Blogger, you know how to start a day off RIGHT!