But first...

To coffee or not to coffee...

2011-11-19T09:25:00.001-06:00

It's been over a week now since I stopped my daily caffeine routine: half a pot at home followed by another half pot at the office. So today I find myself in Tulsa where there are more Quiktrip's than traffic lights and my heart races every 9 seconds. That's about how frequently I'm eyeing a QT sign. I want to enjoy coffee rather than be addicted. I am coffees bitch. So I ponder... Is it too soon? Am I ready?

I ain't dead... yet...

2011-10-05T10:04:00.002-05:00

The new-to-me Blogger app for my handy dandy iPhone has been downloaded. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

r@nd0mn3ss

2009-08-19T19:06:00.003-05:00

A month or two ago, Bob was innocently looking for some reloading information and had keyed in "lube" and something else. Apparently, this is a not-so-secret code word for all things porn and our HP desktop was inundated with porn. Bob is angry at himself and I can't seem to get him to understand that it could have happened to anyone. I was able to get the virus off but I had to do a full system restore back to day one so we lost all of our pictures, files, updates, programs and other things stored on that computer. Talk about good times! It took TWO full days for that machine to download all of the critical updates. TWO DAYS! Every day I realize one or two more things that I've lost, my resume, my spreadsheet of expenses, cheat sheets on how to do things, recipe cards, Christmas card labels, and the list goes on and on. Luckily, some of my pictures are here on this blog, some are on MySpace, Flickr and FaceBook. Some, not all.

In an effort to not lose any more pictures, I'm going to be more vigilant in posting them here so that I can not worry about them in the future. So, here's a few pics I've taken recently:

Just a random cell phone pic of me. Sometimes I just want to update my web sites with new pics but then I take a picture and realize it wasn't worth my time. LOL

MWH and her Manic Panic blue hair!

Her evil twin... hehehe

Another random pic of me, this one I really like!

A Ladies Who Lunch luncheon during my staycation! What a fun day that was!

Stay tuned, there will be more to come...

greeeeeeeeetings

2009-08-19T07:45:00.000-05:00

Nope. I'm not dead. Yet. Though I'm sure there are days when I look it. A lot. Life's been kicking my ass lately and I just don't know what is going to happen from one minute to the next.

Summer is almost over and I'm sitting here wondering what happened to February. Hello? What the hell happened? Where's my Easy Button?

MWH is working at the local bowling alley, she's the hostess with the mostest and she really likes it. Bob found a new job and he's still working 4 days.

I'm still working. Hard, mind you. But I haven't forgotten about my blog and I am hell bent to return to it. My loyal readers have probably left me, all but my lovely Lynne and sweet sister Kindel. The rest, well, gimme a shout, I hope you're still here.

There is a window of opportunity that I may have time this weekend to spend on something for me and if that window remains open, my blog will be top priority. Stay tuned, friends, I'm back.

Whiney Wednesday

2009-05-14T05:53:00.002-05:00

Ok, it's now officially Thursday, but I'm half asleep, hacking and gagging from allergies or the swine flu (not sure which is ailin' me) and both my ears are clogged so I'm still kind of behind in everything else so why not whine about missing yesterday?

Last Tuesday and Wednesday, I had a tickle in my throat.... it was coming. I tried to blow it off. I failed. Bob has been sick, extremely sick, since the first week of April. He's hacked, gagged, sweated, chilled, snotted and slept. His ailments are so what I didn't want. Friday, dinner went from my gut to the Marvin's parking lot. Uh oh. Saturday, the air was fresh, the sun was out, it appeared to be a wonderful day to get out and deny any illness..... Yet, Saturday's dinner also made a repeat appearance. Oh how I paid for my Saturday running on Sunday. Sunday, Mother's Day, was spent in my chair, on my bed, stuffy headed, coughing, gagging, but no puking. Which was mostly based on the fact that I barely ate. Bob cooked me breakfast that I'm sure was simply wonderful but I could not smell nor taste. MWH gave me a beautiful card and a new Pandora bracelet (the bracelet was actually bought my my mom since she was sad that Bob nor MWH actually got me anything other than a card). I think I slept through lunch but dinner was Nott's ribeye steaks. Yummmm. I'm sure they were good too, but, I couldn't taste a thing. Sunday night was spent wide awake considering I spent the entire night just focusing on breathing. I'm not sure if Boss Lady was surprised or not when I called her Monday morning to let her know I would not be making her morning coffee. I think there was Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup on Monday but I'm really not sure if it was soup or just yellow water since I have apparently lost all my abilities to do anything other than suck snot. The office welcomed me warmly Tuesday, but every time the phone rang and I answered, whoever was on the other end paused.... then asked "April, is that you?" My voice sounded like, I don't know, just not me. My 19th wedding anniversary was Tuesday and MWH had her Spring chorus concert at the Coleman theater so I had to get out. Mom gave me and Bob a sweet anniversary card with a Montana Mike's gift card in it so that's where we went for dinner. Bob and I split a tasteless, gristly steak. Bob says the taste was actually good but the gristle got the best of both of us. I had a sweet potato and I do think there was one or two bites that I could taste, maybe it was just a memory though. The concert was nice but terribly loud. My ears are still hurting from the volume. My congestion is to the point where you have Charlie Brown ears and all you hear is "waaaaa waaaaaaa waaaaaaa" and they squeak inside. It's terribly painful now. Wednesday was a blur.... I spent the entire day trying to play catch up at work while the Boss Lady was in overdrive. My desk is such a mess. The hall copy table is buried. There are 4 different cases that she filed stuff on yesterday and I have work to do on all of those files. I did cook spaghetti for dinner last night, I did taste a little bit so it must have had decent flavor. Yummmm. I saved the left over pasta and I hope to make something with butter and garlic tonight. Oh, how divine!!!!! I crawled into bed around 9pm, called my friend Susan to let her know of some sad news about a friend who's cancer has returned and isn't doing well and the tornado sirens start going off. Bob, MWH and I spent the next 40 minutes underneath the house in our basement! The sirens went off repeatedly, I think I lost count after about 6 times. Bob called the police department to get the all clear and they said there was another twister sighting in Commerce (about 3 miles away) heading SE (towards us) so we stood our ground even longer. It was after 11pm before I got back into my comfy bed and after midnight before the sandman came along and took me away. I must have passed gas or coughed on him though because he didn't keep me. The clock said 1:47 and I was awake again. It's going to be a long, long day......

I hope my friend Cruella is doing better;
My wonderful sister's been texting me all sorts of funnies and warm fuzzies but I haven't reciprocated, just no energy, I so need to see how she and my sweet nephews are doing;
My awesome friend Retro Kim had surgery last week and is recovering well and that makes me very happy;
The wicked smart Tillie has finished school and I need to send her a congrats but I just can't make myself do it....

My ears hurt, my nose is glogged, my eyes are gunky and I'm tired. I think I'll have another cup of coffee and start my busy day. Wish me luck.

livin' the good life

2009-04-07T21:11:00.003-05:00

Yes, it's been a month of Sundays since I posted last. There's been more terribly bad news around my little corner of the world but I refuse to dwell on it here. Life is too short. One good, positive, wonderful thing that happened in the past few weeks is that my amazing friends from Wyoming came to see me and my family for a short visit. Too short if you ask me..... Ugh. Why must I work? LOL Why must I have to NOT devote my life to shopping and merry making?

The last several weeks has been a literal mad rush to get things done before Cruella and the ol' Cody Coyote get here. Bob has been trimming out the windows that we bought, what, three or four years ago, that he finished installing last year but never had time to trim out. Well, all but TWO are now finished. The two that need sanded and stained are in my bedroom and I can live with that. Bob has crawled under the house and jacked up the floor to make it more sturdy (ah, life in an older home.....) and now since he did that I moved my living room furniture so that my entertainment center is not up against a wall. My living room, which is 13 x 35, is now divided better into a family room, a computer area and a dining area. Right after Christmas, my mom gave me her dining room table and chairs and buffet and hutch. She bought the set in 1985 or so and it's not the top of the line but it's held up for the past few decades and still looks nice. I think it looks fantastic in my home and I really do enjoy having the set here. It really feels like home here now. So we've been doing a crap load of home improvements lately in addition to the frenzied cleaning regiment that has just completely unnerved me. I like a little bit of clutter and dust. If there isn't dust then I'm just not sure I'm home. Helloooooooo, you can't cold turkey me with a clean house!!

So, Cruella and the ol' Cody Coyote get here Wednesday evening and we have a wonderful dinner and some great conversation. Thursday, Cruella and I went to Joplin and did a little mall crawl and hit Sam's where we bought some of the best shrimp you can buy in bulk. LOL Cruella introduced me to Pandora and I fear that my life will never be the same again. She bought a bracelet for me and even gave me several amazingly beautiful charm beads and now I am hooked!! Oh, I love me some European silver!! The charms are just so cute!! I love (and have!!) the rabbit, the easter egg, the snake, the love bokay, the amazingly beautiful One World Health charm and the precious heart lock and key to name a few. Even thought there are several charms on my bracelet, there are still a ton of charms on my wish list and I'm so glad my birthday and anniversary are coming up soon!! I can't believe how sweet, kind and generous Cruella is to me!! I truly don't deserve a friend like her! Friday we trinkey dinked around town, found the local Pandora dealer, Goforth Jewelry, and tried to build our energy levels up for Tulsa!! Even though we stayed close to home, we still enjoyed ourselves immensely!! Saturday we went to Tulsa and hit a ton of Pandora shops where Cruella and I added some charms to both her bracelet and mine!! While I was driving, I called several Pandora dealers in Oklahoma and I found her a retired strawberry (they only had one though) that Cruella really wanted to find. In the shops in Tulsa we found retired dice and 8-balls for each of us. Cruella spied an ugly duckling before I did and I am sooooooooo jealous!! I seriously wanted that one, oh well, we found that one, surely there are more. We had lunch at PF Chang's with our hubbies who were in Tulsa too spending the day at the gun show. After lunch, we hit more Pandora shops and the mall where Miss Whineyhiney failed in finding clothes for her Key Club convention. Ugh, that kid is the hardest to shop for!! We hit The Cheesecake Factory for dinner and I had the BEST crispy artichoke hearts and MWH ordered a salisbury steak and a kahlua, coffee, mocha cheesecake that she ended up wearing because we fought over a few bites. LOL I won, of course!!!!! Sunday I cooked breakfast burritos, read my Sunday papers and we went BACK to Joplin for another mall crawl (MWH was still searching for clothes!).

Sadly, Monday came and my friends went home and I went back to work. *sniff, sniff, tear, tear* They're home now and I'm sad to see them leave..... So much fun, so little time. I can only hope we are able to head that way this summer! Weeeeeeeeeeee, more adventures!!!!!

Phelps

2009-02-11T18:56:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, during my lunch hour, KSYN 92.5's DJ was discussing Michael Phelps and he made a comment about how Snoop Dogg gets photographed doing drugs all the time and I lost it. While I'm not an Olympian or even an Olympic fan, I find the Olympic spirit and drive of these athletes to be just damn near divine. They spend years in training for a stupid little hunk of gold that means something to them, to their families, to their country. So, I don't laugh at it, I just basically ignore the Olympics and go on. Whatever floats your boat. I do sometimes watch the gymnastics simply because there is nothing else on, but that's about it. Oh, I do laugh at the runners too because sometimes their faces and lips contort to the most amusing configurations while they're running.

So, here's my opinion on the Phelps scandal:

Phelps spent years honing his skill. He earned 8 GOLD medals, if memory serves, he's received 14 total in the recent Olympics and 8 more in the 2004 Athens Olympics. He worked his ass off. He came home an American hero, an icon, and resumed life, returned to college. I don't know what happened, if he was bored, stupid, rebelling or what but he was at college party and took a hit out of a bong. Generally, I think drugs are stupid and I stand by this whole heartedly, but if you're 18 (Phelps is 23) and choose to do them that's your stupidity. Obviously he chose this path, and now Kelloggs, one of his endorsers, is chosing not to renew his endorsement contract because his behavior wasn't "consistent with the image of Kellogg". Now, supposedly he was not going to be re-signed because of a change in Kelloggs ability to use the Olympic rings in their advertising but they chose this time to publicaly separate from Phelps which to me was immature and I feel is terribly cowardly. Let's take the golden boy while he's hot but one screw up and let's drop him like he's got ebola. Keep in mind, folks, that Phelps had a record prior to Kelloggs endorsing him, he pled guilty to drunk driving in 2004 and received 18 months probation. So it's not like he was walking around with a spotless record prior to their signing him.

My final point is that no one is acknowledging whether or not he's passed a urine test since this drama began. Hello?! Is his piss clean now? If so, slack up already!! If not, shame on Kelloggs for not trying to get this young man into a treatment program.

I do believe that Kelloggs sugar laden cereals and other products won't be on my shopping list for some time.....

Subway and Omega (watches) are continuing their support and endorsement of Phelps and I think that's wonderful.

I do think that Columbia, South Carolina's local law enforcement needs to investigate this incident and pursue criminal charges against Phelps and anyone else at the party for use of a narcotic and for paraphenalia, etc.

Make the punishment fit the crime, folks.

I'm such a Twit(ter)

2009-01-22T07:12:00.001-06:00

Since I have (a) unlimited text and (b) a vast amount of angry "why haven't you blogged lately" friends, I have decided to become a Twit(ter). I don't know how well I'll keep it up (aaaaahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa) but hey, it's worth a shot. So, if you're a Twit too, please let me know so I can stalk, er, um follow you......... Look for me on Twitter as, wouldn't you know it, aproka425.

Ch-ch-changes....... turn the beat around!

2009-01-20T21:05:00.000-06:00

How does that song go?

So, in the last millennium since I've blogged, a lot has changed.

My perfect child has turned 15.

My husband has gone and returned on his long awaited for Colorado Elk Hunt.

I took a mini-vacation.

I've had an erection.

MWH found a real, paying job.

Miss Whineyhiney competed in her first, second and third MHS Swim Meet.

I've found a new (old) job.

Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years came and Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years went......

And our nation has elected a biracial man as Commander in Chief. I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit on that one.

You all hear November 4th and think "election day" but no, not in my house. November 4th is my daughter's birthday. It used to be my mom's birthday but in 1993 it stopped being HER birthday and became Miss Whineyhiney's. My mother will remain 38. Forever.

MWH got a Chi flat iron from her 'rents. She's in flat haired heaven. We also let her have a party at the local Holiday Inn Express where she could invite all of her wonderful friends plus One. One knows who he is 'cause he's the token male. Actually, he's hilarious and I'm glad he's in her life. One's girlfriend couldn't come to the party though so it was a little odd, but we all had a great time (no he did NOT spend the night, he went home at a decent hour). The hotel party was insane. The girls ran on the tread mill until their feet were smooth as a baby's butt. Seriously, they were all checking the smoothness of their feet the next day. Ah, kids......

Bob went to Colorado with a co-worker and friends. He stayed in a little cabin that was probably nice in the 1960's but now, well, not so much. They didn't even have telephones. He didn't have cell service either. He called home twice, collect. The bill for those two calls alone was $92.50. That was JUST. FOR. THE. TWO. COLLECT. CALLS. Seriously people. Never call me collect. Even if you're dead, I'm not going to accept. Ever.

So the erection bit is about Bob's new shop. While he was in Colorado, we had a building erected. When I say we, I mean I. It took three men seven hours to put the shop up and while there was a great deal of drama about it all afterwards, it was still a seven hour erection. Yes, a lot of hilarity ensued when I told people I had an erection while my hubby was hundreds of miles West of me hunting for elk. Ah, good times......

I also went back to the ol' BossLady. I don't mean she's OLD, I mean she's my former employer, that kind of ol'. So glad to be back, so glad to be doing bankruptcies again. Such a stress reliever to be away from my old job and the drama.

Lastly, (I know I'm forgetting something though) I need to chime in on the whole Obama thing. I voted for McCain. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I didn't want the big O in the office simply because he was inexperienced. I stand by that to this day. I don't think he has a clue about the big pile of steaming shit he's stepped into. The media elected this man by way of a marathon of infomercials. He's in, I'm fine with that, whatever, but I'm chapped at how everyone talks about how he's black. Hello, his mother is white, he was raised by his maternal *white* grandparents. It's wrong to call him black. I do find it hilarious though how the government is trying to downplay his Hussein though...... At the inauguration, he was first introduced as Barrack Hussein Obama, then Barrack H. Obama, then Barrack Obama. What next? The big B.O.? Haaaaaa haaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaa.

I'm not slamming the president, I hope he does a good job, I just don't think he's experienced enough to do it. I do think his wife is interesting though. I like how she has continued to keep one foot stuck in reality, such as wearing J Crew gloves at the inauguration.

My sister and many of my friends have asked, texted and threatened me about blogging so here you go, it's not perfect but it's me.

Photobloggery

2008-10-12T11:30:00.000-05:00

Here's a picture of our Breast Cancer Race for the Cure walk.

Isn't my daughter beautiful????????????

What to say?

2008-10-02T17:57:00.002-05:00

Good grief there is just no time to blog. No time to whine. No time to breathe. No time.

Here's a brief accounting of what's been happening in and around my world since my last post......

Miss Whineyhiney is doing well. Her GPA has hovered between a 3.86 and a 4.0. Both of which are phenomenal if you ask me considering that she's taking Pre-Advanced Placement classes. I'm so damned proud of that kid.

She's also joined the MHS Swim Team. We don't have a school pool, they'll be using the one at the local Junior College as soon as it's repaired from the July, 2007, flood (supposedly this month). They've been having practive at the 5 Mile Children's Camp until the NEO pool opens. Only one of the five team members has ever actually had any swim training but hey, who cares!! She'll even get Physical Education credit for it so she won't have to take a PE class next year! WOO HOO! She missed out on the Drivers' Ed class they had but there's another one coming next month so hopefully we'll get in that while the gettin's good.

MWH also got her ears repierced. Yes, RE (as in again) pierced. I've spent nearly $60 putting holes in my kids head. Parent of the year, I am. Her birthday (OMG! 15!!) is coming up soon and she wanted to do it for her b'day but I told her to do it now so that she can get the BL!NG for her big day. I'm always lookin' out for her like that.....

I know there's more to type about my perfect kid but I'll let the rest go for now.... I don't want to bore ya.

As for Bob, he's been a pretty happy man lately. His hard work is paying off. He's so excited about what's been happening lately! First, he's chompin' at the bit for his COLORADO elk hunting trip! I'm so excited for him, he's been wanting to go again for so long and it's FINALLY HAPPENING!!!!!!! WHOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Second, we're getting his new shop built now too and that should be done about the same time as his elk hunt. I get the old (small) attached garage to house my Jeeeeeeep and I'm tickled about that! BRING ON THE SNOW, I'm ready for winter!

A new shop, an elk hunting trip in Colorado..... Hmm, how can I top that for Christmas? Um, that won't be happening. LOL

My wonderful sister (not to be confused with the two others who won't even take a fucking kidney if they're dying....... ) brought my two amazing nephews down for their birthday last month. Danny has asthma (like me :-( poor baby) and he's been pretty sick lately. I hate it when kids are sick....... Joey has been doing well though and he's excelling at school (I KNEW HE COULD DO IT!!). Sis got a part time job as a bartender and I'm so freakin' jealous! I wish I could do that but I know it just wouldn't fly around my house. Bob can't sleep if I'm not home and I can't do that to him, he's such a difficult (light) sleeper as it is.

Last month I went to Tulsa for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure Breast Cancer Walk (whew, my fingers are tired from typin' all that!). I had a pretty good time and we went to Woodland Hills afterwards (hence the above-mentioned piercing) and had a truly lovely family day out. I raised $175 in donations for breast cancer research and I'm pretty proud of that fact.

I went to play BINGO with my mom last weekend (no rest for the wicked) and had a blast. I really do like my mom, she's dingy as all get out but she knows how to crack me up like no one else.

Fall is here and I'm oooooh sooooooo happppppppppy. I love me a good frost. Love it when it's cold out and you can see the steam come off your house. That is heaven to me. Lows in the 40's, not freezing yet but there's hope.

My dear, sweet, bitchy friend T lost her job last month. Her boss came in one day and gave her the boot after TEN years. Helloooooooooo. How shitty is that? She was fired for scouting law schools! THAT SUCKS! Oh well, she's found a new part time gig (within walking distance to her house!!) and her new boss supports her going to law school so that turned out wonderful for her.

I know there's more to say but I'm thinkin' that's about all I have in me right now.

I wish...

2008-08-24T18:41:00.005-05:00

... I had the ability to pause time.

... my family and I had no debt. None. Nada. Zip.

... that I had sent my sister a card or something grand for her birthday.

... the piano was something that I could play.

... that I knew what tomorrow holds.

... I had more time.

... there were more flowers in my flower bed.

... that I had more friends like Angie.

... our movie theater played a wider variety of movies.

... there were protein rather than calories in Reese's Pieces.

... corn didn't get stuck in my teeth as often.

... Princess Dianna were still alive.

... my writing skills were better.

... I were treated like the others and not like a step child.

... my daughter would join the swim team.

... it weren't so damned cold in my house.

... that damned mouse in my closet wall would find a new home.

***********************************************************

Friday I had a bad day. When I say bad day, I seriously mean it. Bad. Day. Stop. Re-evaulate breathing. Questioning everything. The all knowing, all loving. Heart and soul, mind and body, spiritual stuff. Nothing at all made sense. Nothing was what it seemed. I have nothing. I was no where. I am no where. There was no hope and it was just time. Time I didn't have.

And then there was Angie.

She says that God sent me to her a few months ago. I question that. She needed something and I was the link to her means to an end. God. And then there was a psychic in Atlantic City. I can see the psychic. But God? Who knows. Either way, she thinks I helped her. Imagine that, me, but I know the truth. She has no clue. None. I'm so unworthy of her ...... There are no words....... Yes, I know there is but it's so far beyond me.

Nausea, Mecca and Accomplishments! Oh, my!

2008-08-13T20:31:00.000-05:00

Nausea

It's amazing to me how hypocritical some people are. You back stab, lie, manipulate, spread hate and yet still find the time to visit vacation bible school, Sunday services and or church camp and fill that empty, cold, lifeless heart of yours with God's word and receive His forgiveness. Amazing that you still know how to ask for forgiveness. Who am I kidding?!?!?!?! You've had years of practice, how dare I think you'd get it right! hahahaaaaaaaa Shame on me, folks, shame on me!

Mecca

I have found the Red Box. It is divine. I can walk up to it and find what I want. There is no attitude, no gum chewing, lip peirced, pink-haired, eye rolling, sarcastic ass asking me to verify my mother's maiden name.

Accomplishments

I am OK with the fact that I'm the mother of a FRESHMAN. That's an amazing accomplishment. Tomorrow will be the first day of school and I'm dreading it but I think I'll survive. I think.................

Thoughts for the Day

2008-06-17T07:10:00.000-05:00

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES:
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS:
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

********************************************************
OPEC sells oil for $136.00 a barrel.
OPEC nations buy U.S. grain at $7.00 a bushel.
Solution: Sell grain for $136.00 a bushel.
Can't buy it?? Tough!?? Eat your oil! It ought to go well with a nice thick grilled filet of camel rump!!!

********************************************************

only to appease the mass(es)

2008-06-10T21:40:00.000-05:00

Apparently a few folks miss me. I don't know how boring your life is but it's gotta be pretty high on the boredom scale to be asking ME to blog, but hey, who am I to judge? LOL

Alrighty then...... let's see........ what's been going on........

Ah, Vegas.

My mother took me to Las Vegas for my 36th birthday. My birthday was (is) April 25th, which was on a Friday this year. We actually left the Sunday before and returned the Thursday before so that I'd still be home for my family on my actual birthday because, well, that's just how things are. Our flight was scheduled to depart at 3:00 p.m. so of course we left the house shortly after 8:00 a.m. My dear, sweet, gambling addicted mother wanted to make a pit stop at Cherokee Casino in Tulsa before we went to the air port. I, of course, was on vacation so I did not care what was going on, I was just out to have FUN. We both played a little and we both lost what little we played. Mom's a smoker and that particular casino has "no smoking" areas and the lines are a little blurred on where exactly the boundaries are so Mom asked a casino employee if this one particular section was smoking or non-smoking and she was told that it was smoking so she lit one up. Dang near immediately, three gamblers verbally assaulted my mother and treated her like a freaking lepper. We spent a minimal amount of time and money in that casino and headed off for the Tulsa International Airport.

The TIA is pretty big. Lots of gates, lots of restaurants, lots of bathrooms....... However, amongst the lots and lots, there is only ONE smoking area. My poor, poor mother had to go outside to smoke. So sad..... Hmmmmm, I have no pity for her. LOL

We got to the TIA oodles of hours early to guarantee that we'd be seated on the plane together. It worked. We were seated together, the only problem was that we were in the farkin' absolute rear of the plane and I couldn't hear anything. We sat next to a real estate agent who lived in the Las Vegas area. She was in Tulsa to handle her father's business. She talked my ear off. Oh, how I wished I had an MP3 player....... seriously. I just wanted to sit and relax, but she had tons of legal questions. Damn, why did I tell her I worked for an attorney?

So, we land and the views are amazing. You can see the tarmac and the Luxor pyramid and the mountains and palm trees and so much more!! So beautiful, so much to take in. We take our shuttle to the MGM Grand and oh my was it amazing!! The MGM Grand lobby was phenomenal. You walk in the doors and the scent of the most amazing roses just envelopes you. It's a virtual assault on both your eyes and your nose. Truly amazing. Our room was on the 20th floor. Sadly, we didn't have a view of the strip, we could see the monorail train though. Our room was plush. Very plush. We had the most divine beds! They were so soft and cushioney and the pillows were wonderful! Our bathroom was marble and HUGE!!!!!!! I love it.

We didn't spend too much time in the room at first. We had the strip to explore and did we ever! We went to New York, NY, M&M World, Tropicana, Flamingo, Belagio, Treasure Island, Planet Hollywood and more...... so many more! We walked until after midnight. I think we ate dinner at Panda Express, a quickie Chinese restaurant, on the strip. We were just overwhelmed with all the options.

Monday we shopped and gambled and explored and made plans to go to the Hoover Dam. It was an amazing day!! We had so much fun! The casinos have some of the same games as our local haunts do but there are a lot of different ones too. One thing I didn't like was how you had to hit the "bet" button each time before you hit "spin" or whatever. It was rather annoying. Their machines don't pay out as well as these do either. Oh well, I was there to shop, not gamble.

Tuesday we went to the Hoover Dam and took the whole damn tour. hehehe Or was it the whole dam tour? I had a ton of damn dam jokes.....

After the dam tour, I had plans to go to Trader Joe's. I had spoken with the Concierge at MGM Grand and mapped my route. I was told the taxi would cost me around $40 each way. I was prepared. I wanted to go to Trader Joe's. So, we leave the dam and stop at heaven, er, um, Ethel M's Chocolate Factory in Henderson, Nevada. Henderson, Nevada. A good 20 minutes from Las Vegas. I load up on $3 chocolate bars and walk through the factory like I own the place. Oh god the aroma was amazing....... Sadly it was a short stop and we were back on the bus within minutes. Then, about 5 minutes later we were approaching an intersection and I looked up and saw Trader Joe's! The bus driver had just said we didn't have to depart at our hotels, he'd drop us off where ever we wanted as long as it was on his route. I quickly asked him if I could get off HERE, HERE, HERE at Trader Joe's and he slowed down some because there was a traffic light and I hopped off the moving bus. After I walked across the street it hit me. I was only about 15 minutes from the dam. The dam was a good 40 minutes from the hotel. SHIT. I wasn't at the Trader Joe's in Las Vegas, I WAS STILL IN HENDERSON!!!!!!!!!!! SHIT!

So I'll spare you all my panic but basically a I had a melt down in the check out line and a very nice Realtor who promised me she wasn't an ax murderer drove me back to Las Vegas. She dropped me off at the Hard Rock Cafe and Casino which was where I wanted to go. Major screw up folks, major. But hey, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Tuesday night mom got sick. Very sick. She didn't eat breakfast that morning and then since we separated I didn't make her eat lunch and even though I told her to she didn't so when she did eat she ate too fast and made herself sick. Sick like puking up bile while we were in the elevator. Then stopping on the 19th floor and puking like nobody's business. Then back in the elevator and puking in the 20th floor elevator lobby area. All across the marble floors....... there was no escaping her vomit volcano. Nasty.........

She spent all of Wednesday in bed. I, of course, went shopping after I made sure she had plenty of water, soup, Pepto Bismol and anything else she wanted. All she wanted though was to sleep and have quiet. She wanted me to go but be available if she needed anything and I was happy to oblige. I toured Ceasar's Palace, the Forum Shops, the Belagio Hotel, the Miracle Mile, the outlet mall, oh, I did sooooooo much and had so much fun ALONE!!!!!!! It was amazing!!!!!!!

Mom got better and Thursday we had a wonderful early breakfast and headed off to the airport for the ride back home. I came home with $50. Not broke but nothing to blog about.

Since I've been home lots has happened but I've been a terrible shit and haven't shared anything. I'll try to keep up better now that I've posted this.

Here are a few of the highlights:

Miss Whineyhiney had her 8th grade promotion, she will be a Freshman in the fall..... oh my god!!!!!

Miss Whineyhiney also had a speaking part in the National Junior Honor Society induction program, I'm so proud of her!!

Bob was transferred from production to a different department, service, at work.

Then they laid off 15 people and he was transferred back to hell, er, production. FOR ONE FUCKING DAY. After one day, they "lent" him back to service.

Then they opened up his old (new) service job for bidding again and he re-bid for it.

Then he spent a miserable weekend worrying that he didn't get the service job again because he was "bidder 3" for the 2 open spots.

BUT ALAS HE DID GET IT! WOO HOO! So now he's happy, today.......

He's had it, lost it, had it, lost it so many times I don't know for sure but as of today he's still there.

I'm done with PTSO.

We bought a pop-up camper and we're ready to camp, as long as the weather holds up and the ATV's run...... nope, we haven't used it yet. LOL

We did get our "stimulus check". Then the Jeep broke down and the there went the stimulus check.

Mother's Day weekend, Bob got sick, went to the ER twice in one day, ended up being admitted and he spent Mother's Day and our 18th wedding anniversary in the hospital.

Also Mother's Day weekend, my best friend had a stroke and I spent the majority of the weekend with her in the ER and hospital.

And, also on the Saturday before Mother's Day, an EF-4 tornado wiped out nearly half of the city of Picher, Oklahoma. Sadly, there were lives lost....... I can't write any more on that topic.

Gas is $3.859 around here. Bob put in $93.xx+ yesterday and I cried........

Again, I know there's more but I'm brain dead. Stay tuned, I'll try to post pics in a few days.

I started this post on May 10th, I'm ending it on June 10th...... so sad.

Out of the loooooooooooop

2008-04-19T06:37:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow I leave for vacation. MY vacation. No kid, no husband. Just me. Ok, my mother is going with me, I'm supposed to be her chaperone, but hey, she's a big girl. There will be a pool and shopping and a spa. I will be there, who the hell knows where she'll be?

Yesterday, I had a wonderful spa pedicure, it was their deluxe kind..... don't ask me what that means, I have no idea. I think the deluxe is when they dip your feet in hot wax AND you get an extended massage. Sweeeeeeeeeeeet. Either way, I had a coupon, I was goin' for broke. LOL

So I'm all packed and ready to go. I've just got to wait another 25 more hours or so...... sheesh, who said time flies?

complete and utter randomness

2008-03-26T10:25:00.004-05:00

I just put an Atomic Fireball in my mouth. Soooooo stupid of me. I can't talk. I should have known better. Sometimes my lack of self control amazes myself. Idiot.

Miss Whineyhiney had a Rotary Club luncheon yesterday where she received an award for being in the top 10% of her class. I am so damned proud of her it's insane. She's such a remarkable young woman. There were only 15 students there, she's wicked smart. I don't know where it comes from.

I have two amazingly adorable nephews who have a super-fantastic mother who sends me the most freakin' adorable pictures and little cell phone videos of them. She rocks. My youngest adorable nephew, Danny, has a strong resemblence to Uncle Fester on the Addams Family. He's too cute for words. I just know that someday he'll dress up in a mink coat and put a light bulb in his mouth. I just hope it's for Halloween or for money, not merely for my personal pleasure and enjoyment. LOL Here's the latest and greatest pic of this little mischevious cutiepatootie.

There are only 3 weeks and 4 days left until I depart for VEGAS. I'm so freakin' excited! WOO HOO! Anyone care to send me some money to gamble on? I'll split my winnin's with ya!

Bob is making plans. Plans to build a garage. Plans to remodel the back part of our house. Our laundry room and my pantry will be converted to a 3/4 bath, my new pantry will be about 4 feet wide and go from floor to ceiling. My laundry room will be moved to where my back door is now. The back door will be where one of the windows is now and we'll add on a nice, large deck. And, here's the kicker, I'll get a new kitchen too. Sweeeeeeeeeeet. And, if that ain't wonderful enough, Bob even said he'd try to put down tile in all of the remodeled area. Holy shit. He wants something....... *tap, tap, tap, chews on end of pencil* What could it be? Oh, yeah, he's getting a garage. First.

Our friends, Cruella & the ol' Cody Coyote will not be joining us for our usual April rondevouz. Bob is leaving for a turkey hunting trip during the time that they come down. I won't get to see them until CHRISTMAS! Dammit!! I miss my friends........

I know there's more to write about but I'm starting to lose the Atomic Fireball heat in my mouth so I think I'll go get myself some coffee.

Lesson of the Day

2008-03-07T12:09:00.004-06:00

Sale vs. Sell

Do you know the difference between SALE and SELL?

Sale is when an item being sold. For sale is just for sale. On sale is on sale. Cheaper than the normal selling price. An item can be on sale and for sale but never, ever, ever can it be for sell. You can sell your sale items for sale while they're onsale (it's called a mark down) but just because something is for sale does not make it ON sale. UGH. Sell if usually past or future tense rather than present tense.

Sale is pronounced like sail, bail, frail, pail, rail.
Sell is pronounced like bell, fell, tell, spell, hell.

There is a difference between HELL and HAIL just as their is a difference between SELL and SALE.

I'm not going to get into the sail and cell issue here.

Also, there are 2 (TWO) "D"'s in didn't. It's not pronounced as dent or din'nt. DID'NT. not DIN'NT. not DIN'T.

Someone please, find the grammar police and send them to my life!

snippits from hell

2008-03-04T20:53:00.003-06:00

It's not Whiney Wednesday but I really don't give a fuck so tough.

On December 28th my DISH receiver went out. It's the dual tuner one in my bedroom and DISH has tried to resolve the sitation but they suck ass and now, nearly 10 weeks later, I still don't have a replacement receiver. They UPS'd me one and left it on my door step in January. I don't know what happened to it but I didn't get it. They shipped another but it was a single tuner so I shipped that sucker back. Now they're charging me $199 for the "missing" January box so I'm seriously having words with Punjab from India and his inbred sister/supervisor Aiyana. They now officially have one week or I'll find alternative satellite service.

For the past 2 weeks or so I've blown my nose at least 3,841,947 times. At least. The majority of those times though, I've snotted all over my hand. Please tell me how you do that? I've had a Kleenex every fucking time! How does my nose miss the damned thing?

My sister got a new roof and some amazingly beautiful new windows put into her lovely home. I want so badly to go to Illinois to see her but the reality is WHEN? I have one week of vacation time and I'm using it in April when I go to Las Vegas with my mother. Hellooooooooo. What was I thinking? Can someone please call my therapist and tell them to UP THE DRUGS!

Does anyone know where you can buy fanny packs anymore? I'm needing to buy 2 of them for the Vegas trip but I haven't been able to find one locally. Ebay has several but none of them have "jumped" out at me yet. Weird......

Do you know of anyone who's ever been proposed to by text message? Nope? Hmmm, wish I could say the same. Sad part is I know the proposee and the proposer! So sad...... He soooooooo doesn't deserve her and thank GOD and all that is holy she had the brains to not show up!

Miss Whineyhiney has pre-enrolled for high school. *picks up self off floor* HIGH SCHOOL. I am the mother of an 8th grader. In 3 short months, I will be the mother of a Freshman. What's up with THAT? Hellooooooo, am I really that old?

Girl Scout cookies are almost done. I have 4 orders to deliver still and 2 orders to ship out. Let's hope I can do that this week...... who am I kidding? Let's hope I can do that before MWH is a Sophomore!

blah, blah, blah

2008-02-05T16:01:00.000-06:00

There's so much to post and say but this isn't the right forum for it....... It's personal and NOT blog material. Sorry. Get your own life and get out of mine if you're that needy. LOL

Miss Whineyhiney is doing fine. Her eye has healed well. The girl who punched her got a mere 3 days of suspension. I am sooooooooooo not pleased with that little disciplinary action. Her parents refused to meet with us so we've turned it all over to Juvenile Services and the District Attorney - who have not contacted me back yet....... ugh

Bob & MWH went with me last Friday to the Rick Springfield concert at Buffalo Run. For an old fart, he puts on one hell of a show! I was thouroughly impressed. I *heart* The Human Touch. Although I didn't like how he sang it. He came out in the crowd and it just didn't sound right. Rick was literally 2 feet in front of me. I could have reached out and touched him if I'd wanted to. Way cool.

Saturday night we went to a bar/restaraunt in Joplin that has cajun food, Bob's fave. While we were there, I got some Mardi Gras beads and didn't even have to show my boobs. LOL Very cool. I really love me some good gater meat......... Can't beat that. AND, if gator meat ain't cool enough for ya, I saw one of the cast members of Trick My Truck there!! Bob didn't believe it was him but I asked our waitress AND I WAS RIGHT! (as if there were any doubts..... *scoffs*)

If you're not my sister, stop reading here. The rest ain't none of your business. If you ARE my sister, keep reading.

Thanks for being there. Thanks for listening to me ramble. Thanks for calling me just to say "hi" and tell me that you love me. Thanks for sending me video clips of my too adorable, too cute, two nephews. Thanks for being you.

2007 vs 2008

2008-01-28T16:41:00.000-06:00

I thought (there's the first sign there'll be a problem) that 2007 sucked ass and that 2008 would be the relief I needed to get past such a sorry fucking year.

But damn how I was wrong.

In December, due to the ice storm we had no electricity for 9, NINE, days. We had a small generator running the heat but we couldn't run anything else really. Heat and the bathroom light for 9 days. My life sucked. I didn't put up a Christmas tree. I didn't do anything to decorate. I could barely muster up enough strength to do anything. Our house suffered some damage too. A tree branch poked a hole the size of my head above our bedroom. Another tree branch brought down part of our chain link fence. We had limbs down everywhere and we only have 3 trees in our entire yard. It looked like a warzone. We lost everything in our deep freeze, refrigerator and top freezer. Nearly $1,000 worth of meat (Bob had gotten a deer and I had bought a ton of hamburger over the summer).

(I'm home now, hello Jose, my new name is Margarita)

So, ice storm, no electricity, no tv, no nothing but heat and a light in the shitter. Yeah, fun. NOT. I'm a true 80's child so SIKE or PSYCH is completely acceptable language here. Whatever. More margarita please........ Alrighty then....... Hey, Martha Stewart is funny......... oh, where was I? OK, no power, no Christmas tree, no money for gifts, yeah, life sucked. Anyway, Christmas comes and goes. Let's don't and say we did. And now it's 2008 and, well, it still sucks. The ice damage has to be fixed. We have yet another severe windstorm and my roof is shot. I have 3 layers of shingles ON TOP OF FUCKING WOOD SHAKES. Hello, KY Jelly, please send me a dozen or so cases of your shit cause I'm about to take it up the ass in a big way.

The roofers come, two if by land, three if by sea (more margarita please) and give quotes. Bob and I weight options of faking our death for the measley $25K of life insurance (more margarita please) vs taking out a loan to get the fucking roof fixed (WTF is wrong with my glass?, MORE MARGARITA PLEASE!!!!!!!!) Margarita salt...in my nose....... how did that happen.... just what is that stuff? Do you need to adhere it with lime or will water work? Oh, yeah..... roofers. Ew, some of them seriously need to bathe. And have dental work. Yeah, we pick a roofer who soedsnt' need his teeth sandblasted and who is licensed and bonded. His crew takes only 4 days to annialate my roof and throw the new one on. Amazing. Damn, thank God I have a backspace key to fix typos........ Mark Barone..... ya think he's a little light in the loafers? (still watching Martha Stewart) (more margarita please) New roof in 4 days. Ok, I forgot what I was saying.

Oh, the trauma of my life that could have brought me to tears last week (or was it the week before?) well, it's temporarily resolved. For now. We'll see what happens in a few weeks. Shit could hit the fan still but for now I won't be altering my life.

Hey, have you thought about putting those stupid, ugly, insanely expensive light bulbs in your sockets yet? I have. I've got 8 bulbs changed so far and all I have left is my damned ceiling fans and those are the expensive ones..... like $4 each bulb and there are 4 bulbs needed per freaking fan. Martha's over, now it's Jon & Kate plus 8, also known as the poster parents for birth control.

I forgot what I was talking about........

MARGARITA

Oh, roofers...... roof's done, damn good job, highly recommend. Broke, never be able to afford toilet paper again.......

I have more to discuss about the drama at school last Thursday regarding my precious, amazing, light-of-my-life, wonderful, perfect, amazing kid getting assaulted at school. Can't type now at all, the Jose Cuervo is kicking in too well but it's one hell of a story.

Hey, where's my glass...... is it immature to drink margaritas from a Shrek glass you got from McDonald's?

Life's Challenges

2008-01-15T07:10:00.000-06:00

I'm not going into details here because it's not technically MY drama, it's a family members but I need to vent and I need to post here so here goes.

Every 2nd Monday of the month, I try to go to Owasso to a support group. It's for people who have had WLS but I joke that it's for AA. It's really for WLS people though so if I see you and tell you I was at an AA meeting, don't believe me. Three or four of us carpool down there to Owasso. It's in a wonderful, clean, pristine, new hospital there that is a great facility to have it at BUT it's in the middle of nowhere. The shortest way there is to exit at Claremore and drive about 25 miles on back roads. By the time we get down there it's dark and the roads are windy and I don't know where the hell I'm going so I'm ever so grateful to have my friends with me to tell me where to go so if/when we get lost it's not entirely my fault (I drive my friend's van). BUT, after my day this weekend, things changed.

We had a major upset at home and while I'm not going into details let's just say it's life altering.

So, I needed to get out. I needed the fellowship of my friends and I seriously planned on going SOMEWHERE. I did really want to go to Tulsa, the drive would have been very refreshing, but the location of the facility is hard for me and I found out that my other friends probably weren't going to be going. One was but the other wasn't and we take her van (one of the ladies who goes may be too large to fit in my Jeep). The hospital is not in an area I'm familiar with and I didn't want to end up in a ditch or hit a deer and be completely alone. So I didn't go. I should have gone but I didn't.

I had planned on leaving work early to help my daughter sell Girl Scout cookies but I didn't. I was too upset. I called her school and had them send her a note that asked her to go home with a friend for a little while. Bob had to work over (THANK GOD!) so I had the house to myself for a full 90 minutes. I sat down and cried. I started dinner. I cried. I went over my bills. I cried. I paid bills that should have been paid last week and the week before (I'm ahead, they weren't past due) but I didn't have time to do it. I cried. I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher. I cried. I washed the towels. I cried. I folded 3 loads of laundry that was left on the couch. I cried. My last chore was to climb a ladder and replace 5 incandescent light bulbs with the new energy effecient yet terribly expensive flourescent ones. You have to know though that I'm deathly afraid of heights. I'm 5'5" and I'm too tall if you ask me. If I fall it hurts. I should be shorter but I'm not. I should be swaddled in bubble wrap every morning before I set foot out of bed. So, after more tears, I climbed that damned step ladder and replaced bulbs. Once, twice, three times...... finally, on the fourth time I didn't need to hold onto a wall. The fifth one didn't get replaced because it was time for me to go get MWH but it's fine. I did it. I was up there at my own free will and by God I did it. I can do this. I am strong. No matter what happens in this situation, I'll be ok. We'll be ok. I can tackle that little blue step ladder and anything that comes my way.

Happy Belated Thanksgiving!

2007-11-27T13:01:00.001-06:00

The Thanksgiving holiday is behind us, or under our belt (ha ha, puns intended!) and I'm so glad that Christmas is coming! I'm ready for the cold weather that we're experiencing and simply can't wait for snow! December looks to be a rabid month. I have Christmas parades, my office party, Bob's work party, a trip to Kansas City to see an old grade school friend and to go shopping, a Girl's Night Out with my bestest and oldest friend from 3rd grade AND I have plans to go dress shopping with another friend! Dress shopping!? Seriously!!!!!!!!! Ok, maybe I won't get a dress but I will be getting something festive! I've got two holiday parties to go to so by God I'm going shopping!

Like an idiot, I did the Black Friday shopping in Joplin. The sales weren't great but I did get a few decent buys and I'm glad to have gone. Too bad Mrs. Coach wasn't with me or Zale's would be short one pair of 5/8 carat earrings. Maybe next year.......

Friday afternoon I got to see my amazingly funny sister, her super nice husband and their fantasticly awesome boys (MY NEPHEWS!!!!!!!!!). We had a wonderful visit and I really do hope we can make it to St. Louis for Christmas! I keep saying that and it never works out but dammit I'm going to try again!

Thursday, Miss Whineyhiney is getting her braces put on. That sounds scarey but so wonderful! It took me almost eighteen months but I got the money saved up for it and it's finally a reality! Sadly though, her trip to Washinton, DC, has been cancelled. I'm going to lose almost $200 in that fucking ordeal and I'm sooooooooooooo not happy about it. I'm so angry right now that words just can not express my fury. That's a lot of money and my refund won't be here before Christmas so I can't even use that money for the holidays! DAMMIT!

This weekend we went to Fayetteville and Rogers, Arkansas to go shopping. I am sooooo happy that we went! I found TWO new shopping centers that I freakin' adore and can't wait to go back to! First we hit the Northwest Arkansas Mall in Fayetteville. Which is a traditional indoor mall. We didn't get to crawl the whole mall but we did make a nice dent! I can't wait to go back and hit the other half! The second we hit was Pinnacle Hills Promenade in Rogers. This one is an open air, outdoor mall like the Branson Landing! They have a Williams-Sonoma and a PF Chang's!!!!!! YUM!!!!!!!!

This weekend, with any luck, I may be going back to Tulsa and I want to hit Utica Square! We'll see...... the parade is Saturday night so I'm not sure if we'll make it or not.

I have more to write, more to say, more to do but unfortunately no time.

Dreaded Sounds

2007-11-09T10:05:00.000-06:00

This morning at 3:18am, I awoke to an unfamiliar sound. My daughter woke me up with the sounds of her wretching. She had never puked in her life prior to this morning. Seriously. She gagged once, but real vomiting had never happened before. I got her cleaned up and tucked her back into bed and about 15 minutes later she was making a bee line for the toilet again. Sadly however, she missed. She vomited every 30 to 45 minutes after that until around 6:00 am when, bless her heart, she passed out from sheer exhaustion.

I had lots of stuff to do at work today too..... Clients coming in to see me. Specific people I was supposed to call back this morning. Two divorces to fine tune and finish...... None of it will be happening now though.

My baby girl needs me......

Popular Demand (and bribery)

2007-11-08T14:20:00.000-06:00

My sister (the one who will kindly accept my kidney) has brought it to my attention that I haven't been blogging lately.

I don't have much time so I'll do some quick pictoral updating.

Here's me and my new friend Jason at the Murder Mystery. Jason was drunk, his girlfriend was with him the whole night, but we had a wonderful time despite her. LOL No, nothing happened, it was just hilarious! I love drunk people.

Here's me and my co-workers at my boss's Halloween Party.

My wonderful sister (yes, the one who will STILL accept my kidney or other live saving, vital organ) sent me some pictures of the two Bestest Nephews Ever but for some reason Blogger isn't cooperating with me on putting their pictures up.

So, what else have I done lately?

*My kid has turned 14. Let me say that again........ f o u r t e e e e e e e e n. It just rolls off the tongue. She had a sleep over and a separate "family" party. Tons of fun, really.

*I ~~was dragged by~~ chaperoned 4 teens to the Right Choices Corn Maze (yeah, I'm stupid).

*Bob went hunting in the Kiamichi Mountains (no, Bigfoot did not eat him)

*I had 5 days of peace and quiet while he was gone - OK, who am I kidding, all I did was run around like a raving lunatic and HAVE FUN!!!!!!

*I ~~was dragged by~~ chaperoned 4 teens to yet another Coleman Mystery Tour (yeah, I'm still stupid).

*I had two Pampered Chef parties and have booked 2 more!!

I know there are lots more things I have to blog about but I'm too damned busy, maybe later though, maybe later........

No, no, no, no, no, no!!!!!!!!

2007-09-26T09:26:00.000-05:00

The Jeep is in the shop. They're replacing rear end parts that they replaced last year.

I saw a ginormous slug this morning as I was getting into Bob's truck to come to work. Slugs, they scare the snot out of me......

My printer at work is broken and Dell is sending me a new one. It'll be here Friday but now I have to use someone else's printer to print envelopes and labels.

I just burned my lip on my coffee. Ouch.

I just found my nephew's birthday card. His birthday party was Saturday. Shit. Happy (belated) Birthday Danny, Aunt April is a ditz who doesn't know how to put a sticker on an envelope and drop it in a slot.

Bob's truck is out of gas so I get to do that during my lunch hour. Joy, thy name is April.

Miss Whineyhiney has a math project on probabilities due tomorrow. Guess who'll be hot gluing dice and cards tonight WHILE cooking dinner.

Speaking of dinner, I had a brain fart this weekend and bought a waffle maker so we're having waffles. Why did I do that? Pizza Hut delivers perfectly good pizzas, sandwiches and salads, why did I bring in such labor intensive devices into my home?

Ok, I have to go now. I have a date with destiny. Watch for my full name to be mentioned on the noon news, you know, how they say "John Wayne Gacy" or "Orenthal James Simpson".

Yeah, today may be the day I snap. LOL Why couldn't I have just had ebola or some other disease that would have kept me in bed all day?

Vacation, baby!

2007-09-02T19:19:00.000-05:00

I'm home from Wyoming. We left Thursday, August 23rd I think. I know it was a Thursday. Bob's been sick for the past week and it's been very bad, very bad...... I can't tell you how bad. He missed work Tuesday, I thought we were going to have to go to the ER. We didn't but he missed work Tuesday, took off early Wednesday for an MRA (which I think they ended up giving him an MRI instead but we'll figure that out later) and he wasn't any better Thursday so he stayed home again. He should NOT have went on vacation but he did. He's ok now, sort of. This illness is weird, we don't know what sets it off or what helps it, it just hits, debilitates him and then as magically and mysteriously as it reared it's head it disappears.

So, here's a run down of our trip:

THURSDAY:
Bob didn't go to work again today, he was sick again so he rested and tried to sleep. Sleep is very hard for him, he can't unwind. Thankfully he was feeling not so sick by about 3:00 so I took off at 4:00 and we departed Miami at 4:30pm. I was smart and loaded the Jeep Wednesday night. This ain't my first rodeo ya know...... The drive across Kansas is nothing less than boring. Boring..... I hate Kansas (I'm from Kansas, born and raised there). We spent the night in Concordia, KS, I think. We should have driven on to York, NE, but for some reason we stopped.... Weird.

FRIDAY:
More driving...... Nebraska has little to offer in the scenery department. We stopped in Sidney at the Cabela's store. Bob was in heaven. MWH was in awe (again) at the mounted elephant they have in there, it really is cool. We all love the stuffed animals in the store, beautiful. We had lunch in the deli there at Cabela's and Bob had elk. Yummmmm. Back on the road, I got us lost near the Nebraska/Wyoming border. Ok, we weren't lost, we were on a road that was running WITH the road we wanted but at some point in time the roads split and I didn't notice. Both roads ended up at the same place but one was better and one sucked. We were on the sucky one. Bob yelled. I sighed. MWH just read her books. LOL We lost about an hour of time due to my little navigational glitch but we still got there. We crossed Wyoming in record time and arrived in Cody at 8:30 pm. What did we do when we got to Cody? Cruella and I went to Wal-Mart. Yep, I drove 1,100 miles to go to Wal-Mart. LOL Actually, their WM isn't all that bad, they've got more things than our store does and the tax is only 5% so it rocks. Tax was only 4% last year but they're putting in a pool in Meeteetse (about 25 miles south of Cody) and they raised the tax county-wide. Hmph, politicks.

SATURDAY:
We got up bright and early and headed to the main drag and for shopping! I went to the Wyoming Buffalo Company for some jerky for my office homies. LOL I got some souvenirs for myself too, I rarely ever do that...... I even got myself a beautiful sterling silver anklet at Greg and Sue's B-Dazzled... Again. Greg and Sue are friends of friends of ours (we went to a 4th of July party at their house a few years ago too so I guess they are OUR friends too and Greg resized my rings last year for free so he must really like me) and Greg just lost his leg in a motorcycle accident a few weeks ago. His son, Shawn, is watching the shop, he's a great jeweler too. I feel so bad for Greg..... he's such a sweet, sweet man.

After I bought the souvenirs, I mailed a care package to the office and we went to lunch at the Willow Fence Tea Room. Beautiful, elegant and very refined...... It's pretty much reservations only and it's off the beaten path so you've got to know about it. You don't just drive by and see it. The lady sells a million different kinds of loose tea and oh my god it's all so good! She has the best scones and devonshire cream! TO DIE FOR!!!! I wanted to bring back Butter Bells for my friends but she didn't have all the colors I wanted and I wanted a discount off the price because I was buying so many. I can get them online for less but I do like Loretta and wanted to support her but damn, I didn't want to be treated like a freakin' tourist! I didn't buy the bells there but I did find two different kinds (one marble one and one porcelain one) at Love's (a wicked cool kitchen store) and some mini crock ones at a store in Powell. I wish they had the bigger ones in Powell because they were exactly what I wanted to bring back...... but they were sold out. My luck! UGH!

SUNDAY:
Cruella & the ol' Coyote went to church so Bob and MWH and I went to town for breakfast at the quarter coffee shop (remind me not to go there again, it was ok, but not repeat worthy). We trinky dinked around town and drove out to the east gate at Yellowstone. Cody is about an hour from the park and the drive is beautiful. It's pretty much all Shoshone (translated: stinking water) National Forest and you're pretty much guaranteed to see some wild life. Sometimes black tailed deer, sometimes antelope, sometimes elk or moose and we even saw some big horn sheep once! Way kewl!!!!! We stopped at the Pahaska gift shop at the gate and looked around a bit, they have some boxer shorts that I'm seriously eyeballing.... Very funny drawers. This road goes through this town called Wapiti, I love saying Wapiti, I say it fast, three times. It cracks me up. Yeah, it doesn't take much. LOL

MONDAY:
Cruella and I headed north to Montana, big sky country. Billings, Montana, about 2 hours due north of Cody. The boys took the ATV's to Shell (about 2 hours away too but in a slightly different direction, northeast). Cruella, MWH and I hit the big city in due time. If you've never been to a Costco, it's an experience unlike any other. They are similar to Sam's Club but are a slightly cheaper on some things, their stock isn't quite as good as Sam's but they sell a few items that Sam's doesn't carry, like coffins. Yeah, when I die, could someone please run to Costco (there's one in Kansas City I think) and buy me a coffin so a particular local mortician who shall remain nameless doesn't defile me? LOL Actually, I'm totally joking, I want to be cremated.

Montana has no sales tax so people buy things in bulk. Major bulk. I kid you not I saw one family loading toilet paper and basic necessities in the back of a campered truck, when I first noticed them by there were about 7 flat bed carts full of merchandise (staple things like cereals, paper goods, two coolers, charcoal...), the man loading was deep in the bed of the truck, when I saw them again, all but one of the flat beds were empty and the man was standing outside the truck bed.

We went to Costco, Office Depot, Shopko, Target, Best Buy, Big K, Wal-Mart and I don't know where else. I did find me one super bargain I couldn't resist. I found two microSD cards for my and Bob's cell phones. Now we can download more ringtones and take more pictures and we can save them to the SD cards rather than bluetooth them. Sometimes I can't get the camera kiosk at Wal-Mart to accept the bluetooth, now I can save it to the SD card and be done with it! The cards are between $25 and $30 and I got them for $13 each! I love me a good bargain!! I loved Shopko, I wish we had one of those stores here! They are like an upscale Target, they have LEI (junior's jeans) and nicer stuff but at truly decent prices. I was impressed!! I also love, love, love the fact that Montana has no sales tax! Even Wal-Mart is OK if you don't have sales tax! LOL Actually, the Wal-Mart stores up here carry a lot of different things so it's really like a whole different store, sorta.

We got home and went to Zapatas for dinner, yummooooooooo! They have some mighty fine beans! I normally don't like beans but these were good!

TUESDAY:
We just hung around town and shopped, ah, to relax on vacation..... that's the good life!

WEDNESDAY & THURSDAY:
Wednesday night when we checked in to the Old Faithful Inn at Yellowstone, we heard someone say something about NBC's Tom Brokaw being there. Then, later, Robert and I went to the bar and this half Australian half Swiss man was cracking me up telling me (and Robert) jokes and he too said that Tom Brokaw was there at the Inn shooting footage for the Today Show. Robert and I walked around for a while looking for him but we never saw him.

We get up to leave the Inn Thursday morning, we were circling the parking lot so I could take a picture of the Inn from a distance and I said out loud "Darn it, I wish we could have seen Tom Brokaw!" and I kid you not THERE HE WAS!!!!! Not 15 feet from us!

So, big mouth me, I yell out of the window, "Hey Tom! May I take your picture?" (yeah, I asked and said "may I"). He replied back "I'd rather you not, once the cameras start for the day they never end" and he kind of sighed. I said back to him "Thank you anyway, I was just getting ready to take a picture of the Inn" and he said "Just tell all your friends we talked". There were a few other sentences of banter but that was the jist of it. He was very nice but looked like the park had kicked his butt already that morning. It was barely 8:00 am, if then, he looked rough. So, I did NOT take his picture then but as I was taking pictures of the Inn (which was truly my intent to begin with) I did get his back side. I have four other witnesses who can vouch for me, this truly is Tom Brokaw (he's got the orange parka and the tan pants). Tom looked very, very tired. He didn't have any make up on and his face was very blotchy (he had super red cheeks like me). He didn't look like he had a good night at all.

FRIDAY:
Sadly, this was our last day of Cody. Of Cruella & the ol' Coyote..... so sad.

We were on the road shortly after dawn. Yawning and gassed up, we headed south towards Colorado. The drive home was long and challenging. Colorado kicked my ass. Denver, Colorado Springs..... damn. I could write about it but I'm exhausted and it's just not going to happen. LOL

SATURDAY:
We hit home around 10:00 pm and wow were we exhausted. We drove through Dodge City and Wichita today, a very long day. I'm glad to be home.

Photoblogging

2007-08-16T07:35:00.000-05:00

Here are some pics of me in my younger years. The red ball pic is me at about 18 months, the red vest is about age 4 and the God awful brown dress pic is about age 5, kindergarten I think.

I figured I'd post these myself rather than some tabloid in the future, you know, after I win Publisher's Clearing House or become famous for mass murder.

Yeah, don't think I haven't considered it.

Beauty Is As Beauty Does, Precious Peace, Blissful Baking, Pampered Chef Parties, Sadness Via Cell Phone and Painted Prettiness!

2007-08-12T21:06:00.000-05:00

BEAUTY IS AS BEAUTY DOES
Miss Whineyhiney is a normal 13 year old girl who loves her hair. She has beautiful hair and I don't know where in the hell it came from. Blonde and straight with just a slight wave...... I'm so fucking jealous of her...... UGH! Anyway, Friday she got highlights and lowlights and damn it put 2 years on her. She looks so mature, so freakin' scary. Eighth grade is going to kick my ass. I know there will be boys, it's going to be a long, long year. I don't know how much highlights and lowlights normally cost because we go to the beauty college but let me tell you if it were much more expensive I'd have to sell one of my kidneys! OUCH!

PRECIOUS PEACE
Miss Whineyhiney has two best friends. One goes to her dad's house in Washinton for the summer, they stay in touch via email and cell phones. Her other best friend stays here but she is active in dance and has a different sleep schedule than MWH so they don't see each other either. She also stays in touch via email and cell phones even though she's less than a mile away. Ah, technology. Well, the Washinton girl got home last week and so this Friday night the girls got together and had their summer Girls' Night Out, their last big bash before school starts. FUN. So after the beauty shop makeover I dropped her off at her friends' house for their GNO. It does my heart good to see her happy, it's so nice that she has friends like that....

And, if my kid being happy (and gone) isn't enough, my husband went to Springfield on a little trip of his own. Yes, I was alone for an entire evening...... A L O N E Ahhhh, the words just roll off my tongue like.......like.......oh hell, there are no words.

BLISSFUL BAKING
So, no kid, no husband, what should I do? I baked. My 4th Pampered Chef party was Saturday and I was going to be demonstrating a warm chocolate cup cake recipe so I decided to make the recipe Friday evening so I wouldn't look like a complete and total idiot. It was so nice to have the house to myself, to be able to do what I wanted, when I wanted, where I wanted. To fart in peace with no one telling me to spray something........ Ah, heaven.

The cupcakes turned out beautifully and were to die for. I took some over to the girls, called a friend and had some foiled up for her and her son to take home and when Bob did get home he ate one or two (or three). They were good. Rich, chocolate, coffee and cream...... Have mercy!

PAMPERED CHEF PARTIES
Thursday I closed my third party, a catalog show, and Saturday I did my fourth show, a cooking show. I get entirely too excited about these stupid shows. I drag every Pampered Chef thing I own to them and I'm thinking that my Jeep just isn't big enough. I really do have a great time though, it's just so damned fun! I would LOVE to do it full time but I don't sell well, I just love to do it. LOL I know it's expensive, but I love the gadgets, I just do it for me and no one else. My goal is 2 shows a month and I've met my goal this month already so I guess I'm done. We'll see though...... I do have one scheduled for September and one for October already so I am booking up fast!! WOO HOO!

SADNESS VIA CELL PHONE
Mrs. Coach's precious grandma is having some major health concerns. Mrs. C has been texting me all weekend keeping me informed about her status. It ain't good people, if you believe in God, please, please pray. Pray for Grandma and pray for Mrs. C and her family. They're good people, I hate that she's feelin' pain.

PAINTED PRETTINESS
It's taken two months but my office is finally complete! Bob hung my shelf today so I could move the book case and other furniture around and I love it! WOO HOO! He finished the painting behind the book case and took down the ugly blinds so now my office is beautiful and done! I think I'll find some pretty art work and maybe a mirror or a clock for decorations but the major stuff is done! Finally! It's all mine and I love it!!!!!!

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Tomorrow starts the new week and I'm not sure this weekend was long enough. Actually I'm positive it wasn't long enough. I can't complain though because I did what I wanted to, I just wanted to do more than what I had time for. Ah, life.

Mystery Blogger suggests Joke Of The Day

2007-08-07T08:06:00.000-05:00

A man, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to his wife, "I feel horrible, I look fat, ugly and out of shape. Pay me a compliment."

The wife replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

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Thank you Mystery Blogger, you know how to start a day off RIGHT!

Serious

2007-08-06T06:27:00.000-05:00

Two things this weekend are blog worthy......

First, my mother, who is 51, bought a new car. A 2007 Dodge Caliber. It's white and a very nice car and I'm soooooooo proud of her because it's her first new car that she's ever owned. Her last car, a boat, a 2001 (I think) Mercury Marquis, was dying. The air conditioning went out of it and she was having all sorts of problems with it. She's been wanting something else, something that gets about 30 miles per gallon (or more) but she's just unsure of herself and didn't have the nerve to go out and do it. Well last week I took her out to the local Dodge dealer and had her drive a Caliber. She loved it. We took her to the Chevy lot and she drove an Aveo and she hated it. She really liked the feel and the looks of the Caliber and I do too. I was not prepared though for her to call me Friday night and tell me she had BOUGHT one though.

My mom is bipolar and I worry about her. She takes her meds but she still has episodes where she's manic (high) or depressed (low) and right now she's high. Manic. Her mannerisms are wild, her speech is fast, her mind is racing........ I can barely keep up with her. She's going 90 to nothing fast.

She needs sleep. She's worried about money (who isn't?) and about getting her new car tagged.

I'm worried about her being unable to take care of herself...... Why am I the responsible one? Why does it all fall on me? Why?

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On another front, Curie died. My friend, Cruella, is crushed. She loved her little kitty. It's so sad. She had a stroke while Cruella was out of town and Cruella feels so bad that Curie suffered alone. I feel bad because she feels bad...... Sucks.

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Friday started the "Back to School" tax break sales here in my neck of the woods. School supplies and clothes are exempt from State taxes. So Saturday we loaded up the Jeep and headed to Springfield, Missouri for some BTS shopping. MWH got some goodies at JC Penney's, Vanity (possibly her new favorite store), Steve & Barry's and I don't even remember where else. LOL I had to stop at Build-A-Bear because I freakin' love BABW. We shopped, we ate, we peed, we walked, we shopped........ My feet hurt, my back ached, my head throbbed....... But we did it. BTS shopping is now over and I'm done. WOO HOO!!!!!!!

Or. So. I. Thought.

Sunday morning after I cooked pancakes for breakfast and after I read my Joplin Globe and Miami News-Record papers, I took the tags off MWH's clothes to wash them only to discover that the idiot clerk at JC Penney's failed to remove one of the anti theft buttons from a pair of LEI jeans. FUCK! I tried to call Springfield's JC Penney's store but they didn't open until 11:00 so I had to wait. I don't wait well. Finally I got ahold of a live human being and here's the conversation:

CLERK: "oooooooooh, it happens all the time........ giggle, tee hee, just bring them back, we'll fix ya right up!"

ME: "But I am in Oklahoma, you're in Springfield, I don't WANT to drive 100 miles for a pair of pants........."

CLERK: "Why did you come here?"

ME: "Does it matter? Look, I just want this damn button OFF these jeans, how do I get it off? I'm NOT driving back to Springfield unless you give me gas money and something for my time, cause it's gonna take me 4 hours for the round trip!"

CLERK: "Oh, well I can offer you a $5 gift card....... um, why don't you go to Joplin's store, they can take off the button. Why didn't you just go there to begin with?"

ME: "Just mail me the damned card...."

So, Sunday, after a breakfast of champions, after enlightening myself with the local news and oodles of sale ads, and after a check up call to my mother to see if she is ok, we headed to Joplin to go back to the mall to get the jeans dealt with.

We hit the mall running....... got the jeans anti theft button removed, stopped at Vanity, Rue 21, DEB, Sears and God knows where else...... Again, I was beat! I swear I'm never going to get to rest. We headed home and went to Wal-Mart for groceries and by the time we got home it was after 4:00 and I was spent. Stick a fork in me, I am done!!

Also, on Saturday, if going to Springfield wasn't enough, we went to The Swimmin' Hole in Joplin for their late night swim. I'm too thin to swim at night anymore. I just can't do it. I froze my ass off. When I was heavier I could do it, but now that I'm not as fat (I'm still overweight, obese even, according to my BMI). I'm too cold now, all the time........ Being thinner has advantages and disadvantages, I'll take them all though, good and bad. Thinner........ That freakin' rocks!

conversations with my child

2007-08-03T16:27:00.000-05:00

Miss Whineyhiney: Mom, can an oxymoron be a compound word?

Me (mom): Um, sure. (thinking to myself, hello, it's August, school doesn't start for 2 more weeks, WHY are you thinking about this shit?)

Miss Whineyhiney: Well, can you think of any examples?

Me: Ummmmmmm (pause) no. Why, in all that is Holy, are you thinking about this NOW?

Miss Whineyhiney: 'Cause school starts in just 14 days!!!!

Me: OOOOOOOh, how I know kid, how I know......

In addition to oxymorons (which are NOT bleached idiots) we also discussed hyperboles (which are pronounced high-per-bah-lee-s NOT high-per-bowls) and other English topics.

I can't believe my kid will be in 8th grade. Eighth grade. I can barely type it, I still can't say it out loud. She's going to be an office aid this year and she's totally freakin' excited about it too! She is going to take Pre Advanced Placement classes for math, science and English. She'll be pushing it but I think she can do it. I just know she can! I'm so damned proud of her, she's such a great kid!

Thought for the day...

2007-08-02T11:28:00.000-05:00

Handle every situation like a canine:

If you can't eat it, play with it, or screw it,

Piss on it and walk away.

Introduce Yourself, a meme

2007-07-30T15:52:00.000-05:00

1. Ever punch someone in the face? Yes, yes I have

2. How old are you? 35 and I'm not ashamed to admit it

3. Are you single or taken? I'm married, 17 years. Y.E.A.R.S.

4. Eat with your hands or utensils? Both, depends on what I'm eating!

5. Do you dream at night? rarely, I hate to dream, the good ones don't come true.....

6. Ever seen a corpse? Yes, but they've all been embalmed

7. Have you ever wished someone dead? Yes, who hasn't?

8. Do you like Bush, the president? He's the president, I respect him for that. I don't know him personally so I can't say whether or not I actually like him.

9. Whats your philosophy on life and death? Life..... um, well, life is what you make of it. Good, bad or indifferent. Death, it's gonna happen to all of us so why fear it? Live. Die. Go 'bout your business.

10. What do you think about Paris Hilton? She should be put on public display in some form of mid-evil torture device for the entire world to view.

11. Do you trust the police? Trust isn't the word I'd use......

12. Do you like country music? Yeah, it's ok

13. What is your fondest memory of a birthday? I don't really remember birthdays...... obviously none were worth remembering.

14. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be? I'd be filthy rich.

15. Would you be a willing participant in an "Indecent Proposal"? For a million bucks? Sure!

16. What do you wear to sleep? A t-shirt and 'jama bottoms, usually fleece 'cause they're warm......

17. Have you ever peed in a pool? Yes and if you say no I know you're LYING!

18. Would you hide evidence for me if your best friend asked you to? In a heartbeat!

19. If you only had one day to live, what would you want to do? Fly to NY City with my kid and see the sights!

20. What is your favorite thing about work? The paycheck!

21. Do you think you are attractive? Um, no.......

22. What's your favorite color? Purple

23. If you could bring back anyone that has passed, who would it be? JFK

24. Tell me one interesting/odd fact about you? I can bend my fingers in a weird way.

25. Would you ever participate in a reality type of TV show like Survivor or American Idol? Not on your life!

Weeeeeeekend bliss

2007-07-24T15:00:00.000-05:00

First off, I gotta shout to the world that MY BABY IS HOME!!!!!!

She spent a week at Girl Scout camp doing the CAP thing (working) and loving it. She could live at camp, any camp, if we'd let her and honestly I'd probably let her but I'd miss her too much.

Bob and I spent the week at home. Alone. It was a typical week for the two of us. Those of you who know us know exactly what we did all week, those of you who don't know Bob, well, it wasn't pretty, I won't bore you with the details.

There isn't much to blog about for the week other than I've had a bitch of a fucking headache since the whole tick/stomach virus weekend. Mrs. Coach seems to think I had (and may still have) botulism. Yeah, lovely. How fucking exciting is it to be me?????

So, Saturday was my first Pampered Chef show. I had it at my friend Tess's house. She's wonderful, simply wonderful. There were over 20 people there and we had a fabulous time! I handled the questions like a pro and made a few new friends. A lot of the girls there were also WLS patients that I know online and now I can put a face with a name (or an email address). It's so nice to be able to do that!! The show was a smashing success, we did over $600 in commissionable sales. Most excellent! No one scheduled any parties off Tess's show but there are several ladies who did want to but they needed to get back with me later on dates, that is fine with me! I demonstrated a chicken enchillada ring, which was totally new to me, and it turned out soooooooooo amazingly good. I swear I'm a natural cook! LOL Ok, I'm an idiot who can follow a recipe but still it was spectacular!

After the party we sat in the hot tub and talked and relaxed. I freakin' loved it, I gotta get me one of those........

Sunday Bob and I went to pick up MWH and that was glorious. I don't know what I'll do without that kid....... she can't grow up. I just don't know what I'll do when she turns 18 and becomes independent. She's 13 and I know it's coming. I've tried to get her to start smoking, I've heard it stunts growth, but she's too damned smart.

She got the new Harry Potter book too and she was in H.E.A.V.E.N. Absolute heaven. She has been reading it slowly...... very slowly. Savoring every page. I haven't read anything past the second book so I'm way behind but oh well, that's life.

I did find a new author I've been reading, Mary Kay Andrews, and she's a riot. Very witty and an excellent source of simple chick lit. I love fluff. I don't want to think when I read. I won't be reading any Stephen King or John Grisham anytime soon........ I guarantee you of that. Jodi Picoult, Mary Kay Andrews, Billie Letts, those are my kind of authors.

I hope you all are enjoying the new "joke of the day" posts. I'll try to keep them up as long as people keep sending them to me.

Little Joe and the mortgage

2007-07-24T14:57:00.000-05:00

For his birthday, little Joe asked for a 10-speed bicycle.

His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw little Joe heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"

Little Joe told him; "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage & no bike.

Poor Baby....

2007-07-23T06:13:00.000-05:00

Minutes after a woman gave birth to her baby, her doctor stood solemnly at her bedside and said: "I have something I must tell you about your baby."

"What's wrong?," the alarmed mother asked.

"Your baby is a hermaphrodite."

"What's that?"

"It means your baby has both male and female parts."

"Oh, my goodness, that's wonderful!," the woman exclaimed. "You mean it has a penis and a brain? That doesn't happen often, does it?!"

High School Musical

2007-07-19T19:21:00.000-05:00

Ok, stole this from Mrs. Coach who I'm sure stole it from someone else who got it from someone else. You know how it works. It's a meme, should be pronounced me-me because it's well, all about me but however you say, here it is:

1. Who was your best friend? Hmmmmm, which school do I want to meme about? I went to two. In Baxter, it was Terra, always Terra. I ran with a lot of different crowds, Darren, Brad, Heather, Laura, Pebble, AnnMarie........ But my true friend was always Terra. Her dad was an alcoholic, my dad was (and still is) a sorry son of a bitch mother fucker, so we never spent the night at each other's houses and we really didn't run around with each other much outside of school, but we were buds and we still are to this day. In Quapaw, I didn't really have a "best" friend, just lots of different people. I was with Tish when I met Randy and his crew, I liked Angie a lot but her boyfriend frowned on her having any friends other than him so it was hard to be friends with her.

2. What sports did you play? Um, does quarters count? I rocked at quarters....... yeah, rocked.

3. What kind of car did you drive? My first car was a 1975 Chevy Monte Carlo, it was awesome, you didn't need a key, it idled at 15 to 20 miles per hour and could climb hills. It died and I had a 1982 Chevy Impala (totally hated it), a 1969 Dodge Coronet and then a 1978 Datsun B210. I loved the Datsun. LOVED!!!!!! It was a total piece of shit but it got great gas mileage (I know you remember getting 78 cents of gas and it actually got you somewhere!!) and I could scratch in any gear.

4. It's Friday Night, where were you? At a football game or in Miami draggin' Main. Sometimes both. Always, though, always, I was having a great time and I pretty much always had alcohol.

5. Were you a party animal? Yep, been there, done that.

6. Were you considered a flirt? No, I wasn't. I was the girl you told your girlfriend that you were going out and I was always the "reason" for the break up but in reality it wasn't true. I was the one who had the condoms or would make the rubber run but I just didn't want to be involved with anyone. I had my crushes and they were safe and right there and I just kept my distance......

7. Were you in band, orchestra or choir? At Baxter I wasn't in anything, at Quapaw I was in band. I always wanted to play the sax...... ah, the smooth sound....... thanks for those memories Brad....... but I didn't have the money to play an instrument. At Quapaw though I was in the band, I played cymbals *hence the nickname of Clash* and the bass drum. I was usually the only sober person at parades so I'd be the one carrying the big bass drum around.

8. Were you a nerd? Nope. Not. One. Bit.

9. Did you get expelled or suspended? Yeah, does that matter? Why do you think I went to two different high schools?

10. Can you sing the fight song? Sing it, ummmm I don't recall ever having one at either school!

11. Who was your favorite teacher? In Baxter it was probably Mr. Dillon, he just knew things...... Maybe Mrs. Binns too, she was amazingly narcoleptic (sp?). At Quapaw, I liked our science teacher, something Mrs. B..... Barrett maybe....... damn, my brain hurts. I liked Mrs. Rhodes (shhhh, don't tell anyone, she was a real bitch). Oh and I ADORED Mrs. Chrisman, she freakin' rocked!

12. What was your school mascot? Baxter Lions (red and white) and Quapaw Wildcats (green and white)

13. Did you go to the prom? My freshman or sophmore year I went to Riverton's prom, big freakin' nightmare. My Junior year I went to Miami and Quapaw and then my Senior year I didn't get invited. Looooooong story.

14. If you could go back and do it over again would you? Yeah, I would. In a New York minute.

15. What do you remember most about graduation? Wearing heels and worrying about tripping over the electrical cords. How fucking hot it was. How they refused to move me to the "C" section rather than keep me in the "R" section, dammit, I was married now!

16. Where were you on Senior Skip day? Um, skipping........ I skipped a lot. I actually skipped my entire second semester my senior year so every day was Senior Skip day to me!

17. Did you have a job Senior year? I worked at McD's but I cut my hand (at home, not at work) and I couldn't work for a while so I quit. Then after Christmas I did work because I was out of school and it was expected of me.... damn reality of life.

18. Where did you go most for lunch? The Quapaw Express or Dallas' Dairyette. Yumooooooo!

19. Have you gained weight since then? Gained and lost. I'm about 10 pounds heavier than I was when I left Baxter.

20. What did you do after graduation? Went home and got drunk, I was married and could do whatever I wanted to. Sort of. LOL

21. When did you graduate? May of 1990, I don't remember the date.

22. Who was your Senior prom date? I didn't go. I didn't get invited. I don't wanna talk about it.

23. Are you going/did you go to your 10th reunion? Didn't go, didn't have one.

24. Who was your homeroom teacher? We didn't have homeroom, there were only 40 or so of us at Quapaw, if you weren't there everyone already knew it and why. LOL

25. Who will repost this? YOU! Go ahead, just do it!

Not dead

2007-07-17T06:47:00.000-05:00

Damn near wish I were though.

Life's shit.

Wish I could enter the witness protection agency or something, start fresh.

I need a vacation.

I need a break from reality.

I need something.

Panic attacks are happening again, can't make the pong stop.

Work is the only thing keeping me sane.

Friday

2007-07-13T11:02:00.000-05:00

It's Friday and I wish I could tell you I'm better but I'm not.

I'm still

*weak
*tired
*sore
*achey
*suffering from a headache
*miserable

and 14 other things that I don't feel like writing right now.

I am at work though, have been since Thursday (yesterday) and will be again Monday as long as the blood remains inside my body.

Bob and MWH are both fine, this must not be contageous 'cause they ain't got it. I wonder if I did get tick bit. How? Where? Will I die? Soon?

Last night, I should have gone to bed immediately after work but I didn't. I took my precious, wonderful teen child to see the new Harry Potter movie. Yeah, stupid. My body ached and I froze during the whole movie. A kid, nay, a hell spawn in the form on a blonde toddler, was tormenting me the entire movie. I caught myself no less than 3 times licking my fingers hoping to touch the little demon brat in hopes that he or she (I have no idea, damn shape shifting children) would become violently ill from this mystery illness I have been subjected to. My plan didn't work, the damn little monster never got close enough........

I will be sleeping all weekend though. Check back Monday to see if I'm dead or not.

tick born illness, virus or what?

2007-07-10T11:12:00.000-05:00

Last Wednesday, the 4th of July, we went to the Woods house for some good old fashioned beer drinkin', weiner roastin', beer drinkin', story tellin, beer drinkin', swimmin', beer drinkin' and fire work shootin'. And, oh, I nearly forgot. Did I mention beer? I personally am not a beer person, but you give me a Parrot Bay drink and blink it'll be in. my. belly. Out of about 50 people there, only two of us had to work the next day, me and the host. He was drunk before sunset, I was sippin' on my libations all night, wanting to keep my composure.

The kids swam and swatted skeeters, the adults discussed floods and insurance companies, the women discussed and devoured the Pampered Chef guacamole dip and the guys shot fireworks with their bare hands. Yeah, we're married to grown men who have no common sense. One of the women there though is a labor and delivery nurse so she could have probably stopped the bleeding if they'd actually done any damage. LOL

I did have a great time, so glad to have good friends.

Thursday though, I could tell something was wrong. My head hurt. I'd only had two and a half drinks and I didn't get drunk so I knew it wasn't a hang over. My stomach also hurt. I blew it off, figured it was just the alcohol and the late night and the guacamole. Friday it was worse. We had plans with the Woods crew again for the post holiday weekend so I took off work early Friday. Nothing was going to stop me from having fun. Or so I thought.

Friday night I tried to put up the tent with Bob, I couldn't do it. I tried to stand erect, I couldn't do that either. I went to bed. I sweated, I froze, I shivered, I swear I died at least twice. The boys shot fireworks just feet from my head and I did nothing. Saturday morning I woke up and took two steps from the bed and a putrid, green slime slid down my leg and pooled around my foot. I froze. It. Came. From. Me.

I won't disgust you with more details here but I did get cleaned up and back to camp. I tried to lay down again but I was offered to sleep in a friends' air conditioned camper so I took them up on it. I slept the whole day away. Bob made me get up around 8pm or so and I did get up but not for long. I went back to our tent shortly to go back to bed. More fireworks, more head ache, more misery and agony for me...... At midnight I woke up again and, let me tell you without going into specific details, I had to go home. We were over an hour from home, I totally didn't want to ruin everyone's weekend, there was no time to break down the tent and all though.

We made it home and I think I showered again and went to bed. I know I was freezing cold and shaking by the time I got into bed. I didn't get out of bed Sunday other than bathroom runs. Saturday I ate about a third of a container of sugar free jello, Sunday I ate some unsalted saltines. Monday I went to the AM clinic and got nowhere. It might be a virus, it might be a tick bite (no tick bites on me though that we can find). My upper abdomen still hurts, my head still hurts and I'm still uber tired. I do have my voice back though.

I'm off work until at least Thursday per the doc, my bed is killing me and my guilt for missing work is immense. Calgon, take me away!!!!!!

Flood

2007-07-06T06:50:00.000-05:00

I don't have time to go into major details here but all is good.

The Clarks (that's my lil family here) are all high and dry. No, we're not coke'd up and in clean Pampers but we are out of the path of the flood. Not. By. Much.

I believe it was less than 1 full block away at it's highest point. I refused to go down there to actually look at it.

Other than the flood damage we also have mosquitos from hell, demon mosquitos that mean fucking business. Miss Whineyhiney has 15 bites on her ankles alone and she hasn't been anywhere near the flood. And, if mutant mosquitos weren't enough, the smell is enough to make a mortician gag. Literally. Bring on the dead bodies, I'd much rather smell that..... The mushroom farm ain't got nothin' on the Neosho river when it overflows it's banks.

Here's a pic I took with my KRZR of Okie Burger, which is on G Street and Steve Owens. It's in water but not too bad. I'm not sure if OB was flooded in '86 or not but it was this time.

blah, blah, blah

2007-06-27T20:52:00.000-05:00

What do I have to talk about tonight? Hmmmm, let me think.

Miss Whineyhiney is at Girl Scout camp. She's in the While You Were Out unit and they are doing a makeover in the Camp Director's private quarters. MWH was very excited when we dropped her off. She even gets to go again as a CAP. When she read the CAP paperwork, it talked about her duties and how she was going to get to ride on the back of the trailer and deliver the other campers' luggage. That is soooooo kewl if you ask her.

Mrs. Coach called me last night with some SUPER FANTASTIC NEWS. I don't want to give it away because she has her own blog to brag on but let me tell you it's GREAT! WOO HOO!

I have booked my first Pampered Chef party. I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm scared..... I've got tons of emotions running through me. I hope I can do this, I really hope I can do this. If you wanna check out my site, here's the link.

Last weekend we went camping at Elk River Floats and had a blast!!!!!! We made some new friends, drank a ton or two of beer and got some sun to boot! I didn't even get burned! That's sweeeeeeeet!!!!! We've even got plans to go back in a few weeks!

Work is crazy. C.R.A.Z.Y. I've moved to the back to be a legal secretary. They've hired a new receptionist to take my old job and so I'm running back and forth trying to help and train her. I'm trying to set up my desk and get my system going. I've also got a wicked, killer, totally kick ass, brand spankin' new Dell computer with a truly amazing 22" flat screen monitor that I'm soooooooo insanely in love with. My printer is one of those all in one jobs too but I haven't got it figured out yet. Yesterday I was looking everywhere for the Adobe program 'cause I like Adobe but I couldn't find it and in desperation I said (loudly) to the new girl as she walked past my office "I'd give BOTH my nipples for a copy of Adobe" and unbeknownst to me there was another attorney out in the lobby who heard me and laughed so hard hair almost grew from his bald head. Yeah, really, it was hilarious.

This weekend we're supposed to have yet another garage sale. I don't know if it will happen or not because of the weather, but I sure hope it does happen. If it doesn't happen, I may drown in the mountains of clothing stored in my shed. Thank GOD that it's been cool lately because I'm seriously concerned about my shed spontaneously combusting due to the crap we've got in there stored for the garage sale. LOL

Saturday evening I've got a birthday party to go to. A friend's foster kiddo is turning 1 and we're all going to hoooooooop and holler and help her blow out her candle. She's such a sweet baby, it'll be lots of fun!

My own precious teenaged (baby) comes home Friday night and I'm so ready for her to be here. I miss her so much........

My meds are kickin' in and I can barely keep my eyes open, I'm outta here.

Mystery Blogger

2007-06-21T12:03:00.000-05:00

Several of my friends have told me stories lately that are sooooooooo blog worthy but they either are NON bloggers, don't know how to do the private blogging in MySpace or are afraid to put them on their own blog for fear of public humiliation.

Here is the first of, I hope, many mystery blog posts:

Mystery Blog Post

Welcome to Aprils blog, today your post comes to you from a guest Mystery blogger. I can’t post on my own site because my dear readers would be appalled and shocked and more importantly they would blab it all over the place. I figure since April doesn’t live anywhere near me, I would post on her site hoping that my readers aren’t her readers.

Several weeks ago I met this guy that I cannot get out of my head. The chemistry is there, you can almost feel it in the air. It’s electrifying and it frankly scares the hell out of me. Under different circumstances (like oh say, if I wasn’t married) it would be one of those hot Harlequin romance novel plots. The tall, dark and handsome guy sweeps the heroine off her feet and steals her away in the darkness. (Pardon me a moment while I get my blood pressure back under control). The curse or the cure of the whole thing is that he lives a few hours away and our paths don’t cross very often. I’m sure it will wear off in time but for now it’s all consuming. Emails and phone calls between are the only link we’ve got right now. There’s been no sex but it still feels wrong. Yet oh so right. I’m pathetic, I know it.

I know I’m playing with fire, I’m usually the first one to make snarky comments about others who mess around. In fact I made one today and then stopped to think about what I was saying, nothing like throwing stones in glass houses……

This “thing” is so totally out of my character it scares me. I love my child(ren) and my husband. He drives me freaking insane but it’s because I let him, I cater to his every need and want. Is it just the thrill of the chase I’m enjoying? Maybe it’s the extra attention, someone who finds me attractive and tells me about it? Could it be that I’ve hit the age that I could use a little reinforcement and I’m just latching onto whatever I can get? A wise friend asked me to think about whether it was worth losing my family over, the answer is no. I know the answer in my heart, it’s just my damned head that can’t figure it out. I’m so confused. I want to stop it and move on one minute and the other minute I’m thinking of how I can talk to him, see him, hear him laugh, watch him move. I just figured once he was out of the picture for a couple of days my life would be back to normal and I’d forget all about him. I’m still waiting.

The one good thing to come of this: the guilt sex is amazing! Much better than makeup sex. Heck, the husband may encourage it if he knew it was what was getting him so happy! Nah, I don’t think I can justify it like that either, but it was worth a shot to think of it like that.

Please don’t rip me a new one, I know I’m making a mistake. I also know it won’t go any further than it already has. I just have to get it out of my system and move on. I’ll keep you updated. Thanks for letting me butt in at butfirst….

So, if you, or someone you know, has a story they'd like to share with the free world but are unable for whatever reason to put it on their own blog then please feel free to email me at aproka@sbcglobal.net.

Friends

2007-06-19T21:04:00.000-05:00

At what point do you let a friend go?

What is the pivotal point where you just don't bother with them anymore?

I love her dearly, but she's just not the same person anymore. Maybe it's me, maybe I'm not the same person anymore. She doesn't return my phone calls, doesn't remember things she tells me (or thinks she's told me things when she hasn't), only comes over if she wants/needs something.... I could go on. When do I decide that I've had enough? Is it wrong of me to want more from her?

She didn't even come over to see my new curtains until I practically cornered her...... so sad.

***********************************

My new friend, Dr. T, is simply amazing. I simply can't say enough great things about her. She's wicked smart about damn near everything. She knows pretty much everything there is to know about medicine, she has insight and amazing skills and she's just hilarious to be around. I swear she gets me like no one else.

I'm truly lucky to know her, to call her friend.

***********************************

Another of my friends, who shall remain anonymous, is turning into a a high class trollop. She's desperately horny and her little rabbit friend just isn't enough. Granted, it's gotta be hard being single and horny, but gimme a break! LOL She's been doing the internet dating thing and bless her heart she's meeting men and getting out there. I'm so proud of her that she's trying. I wish I had her drive and motivation. She wants a man for sex but not much of anything else. The guys she's been dating are in shock that she really only wants sex. Sex her up and find the door, really, get the fuck out. Her stories are hilarious, her escapades are to die for and her friendship is simply divine!

**********************************

Here's another question for you...... What kind of friend gives a creditor your cell phone number and defaults on a loan? Helloooooooo, don't they realize that the creditor is going to call you to get you to try to get your friend to pay their bills? I was speechless, I was waiting for Punk'd to knock on my door during the entire call!

Alrighty, I've bitched, I've whined, I've vented and now I'm outta here. I sure hope I have friends left tomorrow. LOL

call me Grace

2007-06-17T14:36:00.000-05:00

It seems like Sundays are the only time I can get to blog. Sucks, but true.

On Monday, my new cell phone came in. I got a Motorola KRZR and it's AWESOME!!!!!!! I love it, there are so many new features I don't know how I'll ever learn them all but they are way kewl! I'd link it but I'm too lazy right now. LOL

After work I went to Tulsa to my support group meeting. We had a trade show and I helped Dr. T with her products. I earned enough dough to buy myself one of those really sharp looking medical alert ID bracelets. It's custom designed, custom fit to my wrist, sterling silver and very pretty. I am so glad I was able to afford it! I'll be sure to post a pic once I get it next month.

Tuesday I should have gone to Joplin to see my favorite sister (ok, she's the only one who knows I'm alive, but I'll take it) but due to the freak flooding in Joplin and the rain that was coming down we decided to pass the visit to her next trip in August. I sure do miss her though, those boys (MY NEPHEWS!!!!!!!) too. Oh well, that's life. Sucks though. Since I didn't go see her, I decided to wade through the rest of my Pampered Chef stuff that came in and wow, that stuff is fun to play with! I had 7 boxes come in between Friday and Tuesday it was like Christmas!!!!!! Tuesday night I unloaded and separated orders and put MY stuff away. I had empty boxes coming out of my ears and the trash was full so I decided to load the empties in Bob's truck and take them to a dumpster downtown. Unfortunately I shouldn't be allowed to walk and breathe at the same time and I literally fell, head first, off my back porch. My head missed the front bumper of the truck by inches. I scraped up and bruised my right knee, left knee, shin and ankle and my left forearm and batwing (the jiggly part under the arm). I look like I've been dragged through hell.

Bob panicked and MWH just stared. I just knew my ankle was broken but I hopped right up, dusted the grass and dirt off and climbed up the stairs back into the house. I had to be strong. Bob was wiggin' out on me. LOL

I sat around for a while so the blood could clot. Took a bath to soak and clean the wounds. Drove the truck to town and hauled off the empty boxes and the trash. I was so stupid. LOL When I went to bed I was in so much pain it wasn't funny. I woke up around 1:00 am and was freezing cold and shaking I was hurting so bad. I took a pain pill and that didn't help. I was up all night. Miserable.

Wednesday and Thursday everyone was amazed that I came to work and was walking on it. My ankle looked horrible. It was 3 times the size it should have been, HUGE!!!!! Thursday my left foot turned black all the way around the heel and along the long part of my foot. Everyone kept telling me it was broken but I just kept saying that I didn't think so, I could walk on it and it didn't hurt more than just a simple sprain.

Friday morning I had to take MWH to the doctor to get her camp physical so I let the physician's assistant who I keep saying I won't go back to look at it and he, of course, ordered x-rays.

The x-ray tech moved my leg and foot, poked and proded and I wanted to bitch slap her 'cause she was just being a total bitch. We got the films and took them back down to the PA and he decided that it wasn't broken.

Hellooooooo, I've been saying that all along! Only now I'm $75 poorer and the sympathy train I had planned on riding out for the weekend has totally derailed! UGH! I'm still in pain, still limping, still swollen and STILL being called "Trip". Yeah, life sucks sometimes. LOL I also got a tetanus shot and it's been well over 48 hours now and my arm still fucking hurts like hell.

Saturday we went to Joplin and I faced one of my many fears. Shoe Carnival. I hate clowns (and birds) and that place is just NOT one of the chosen stores I consider shopping at a lot but I heard they were having a big sale and money trumps all so I went in. Granted, I was on high alert for the red nosed fuckers but I didn't see any so it was worth it! I got a pair of Sketchers for $17.50 and fully consider the trip to have been worth it! I love pure white shoes, no color, and I couldn't believe my eyes when I found a pair on sale! They're even the little petite kind that I wanted, I'm so happy! WOO HOO! We went to Sears, Bath & Body Works, Old Navy, Rue 21 and a few other stores while there. We had lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings and I wasn't impressed. One place I don't care to go back to....... Then we went to Acadamy where MWH got a new snorkel and mask, my water baby loves her pool toys.

Today is Father's Day and we don't have any plans. Bob is NOT my father so I'm not doing anything for him. I did call my adopted dad, the ol' Cody Coyote, to tell him Happy Father's Day. I think I surprised him. LOL

If you are a dad and are reading this, HAPPY DAD'S DAY TO YOU!!!!!!

Sooooooo much of life

2007-06-10T20:12:00.000-05:00

It's Sunday night and I don't have Desperate Housewives or Brothers and Sisters to watch. I don't have any DVD's waiting to be viewed before I take them back. And there are no urgent things in my life so I find myself here, blogging.

Last weekend was in-fucking-tense.

Saturday I had a Pampered Chef party and even though my house wasn't dirty it wasn't clean. Bob took Miss Whineyhiney to Silver Dollar City at first light and I sat there, alone, in an empty house....... grinning ear to ear like the Cheshire cat.

I had made plans with my mom to come over and help me finish the cleaning. We bleached, we mopped, we folded, we vacuumed (with the Rainbow) and we crashed. I went to Wal-Mart for groceries for the recipe I had chosen, Spicy Shrimp Ceviche Cups, and for paper goods and what not for the party. Oh my gawd was I excited!! The last party I had thrown, a House of Lloyd party, had not turned out well and I was seriously doubting my sanity. (Seriously, the last party I had, the consultant FORGOT about me and she even called me the night before to remind me! UGH! So I sat there with a house full of people ready to buy shit and no seller..... oh yeah, a real fucking nightmare!!) Mom and I had the house cleaned and candles burning and oh it smelled yummy. The air conditioner was going so the house was almost too cold. I had my new trifle bowl on the table with ice in it (very creative if you ask me). I had cookies and cheese its, sodas and tea. I was ready. My table cloth was coordinated to match my cups, plates and napkins. I was ready! The consultant showed up at 4:00 as promised and things went well, very well. I had room for everyone who showed and I think we had a great time! I had one come late, two leave early and everyone else just stayed and had a few laughs, some good ceviche cups and a few laughs. I really was surprised. For a small party I don't think I did too bad, I had nearly $600 in sales and to me, that was awesome! I've even decided to become a Pampered Chef consultant. Yeah, I know, that is a big step, but hey, I might like it and if I don't I'll still have some really cool cooking gadgets that are all mine to play with!

I really liked my ceviche recipe, I can see me making those with other fillings. Very yummy, the pan is in the consultant kit that should be here Monday. Sweeeet.

After the party my new friend Dr. T invited me to go to the Stables with her. I'd been cleaning all day and really needed to get out so I decided to take her up on it. We had barely sat down and T hit $1,500.00 on a quarter machine. I nearly fell out of my chair I was so excited for her! She decided that we needed to celebrate so we headed to the bar and well, that's where my night gets a bit blurry. I had 2 glasses of wine and got completely drunk. I hadn't eaten dinner and that is a bad thing for someone like me. LOL

We'd only been at the casino for about 45 minutes when we decided to leave but Bob and MWH were home and I was drunk and it was not a warm homecoming. LOL Bob had never (in 17 years of marriage) seen me that drunk. I went straight to bed, I didn't give a rats ass about himor anything else. I had such a fantastic day and NOTHING was going to get me down. I woke up Sunday morning with a hang over. I hadn't had a hang over since I was about 15 or so, that is a weird feeling.

Bob wasn't too upset with me Sunday and considering we had a kitchen window to replace and he wanted my help he was pretty darn nice to me. LOL

It took forever, but he (we) got it in and it looks great. I even made curtains for it Tuesday (see previous post) and they still look great if you ask me!

The week at work went well. Busy, busy busy. I'm getting a new job soon and I'm terribly nervous. I'm going from the front reception desk to a desk in the back. I'll be a legal secretary again and I'm nervous and excited about it. I've been with this firm for a year this month and wow has time flown by!!!!!

Friday after work I went to babysit for a friend of mine. She fosters kids and the baby she has now is absolutely adorable. She is a chunk and giggles a lot. She's so spoiled but she's starting to get used to me....... finally.

We had made plans to go camping this weekend and it was after 9:00 before I met up with Bob and MWH at the dam. I'm so lucky, they got there early and set up the tent and it was all good to go. Sweet.

We woke up early Saturday morning to the sound of birds calling and other nature sounds, it was so refreshing. I slept so well Friday night. Bob had a nice fire going so I cooked catastrophe on the open fire in my cast iron dutch oven. It was amazing. I didn't burn it and everything tasted so yummy. After breakfast we all donned on our safety gear and loaded onto the ATV's and headed out to the wild blue yonder. The dam was still wet and muddy and we slid around like nobody's business. I ruined my Nikes (ok, I deliberately wore them so I would get them dirty and have an excuse to buy new shoes) in the mud and I giggled like an idiot when Bob slid around in the loose mud going up hill. We truly had a great morning. We headed back in to town to get some lunch and to buy some meat for dinner. We ate lunch at this little Mexican place and I had the best carne asada sandwich. I couldn't tell you the name of what I had but it was soooooooo yummy. Bob had crispy tacos and MWH had soft tacos, we all decided that place was definitely one to go back to! We bought cheesey hot dogs for dinner and headed back to camp to put our groceries in the cooler and change into our swim suits. We drove by Little Blue but it looked crowded so we headed over to the state park to swim. Holy shit the water was cold. Nipple hardening cold. It took me forever to wade out to where the water was up to my neck, I kept moving around for warm spots, obviously Bob wasn't peeing enough. LOL

We swam for about an hour and the beach seemed to triple with beachcomers so we headed back to camp to clean up. Our camp has hot showers and man that felt good!!!!! We cooked hot dogs and sat around the camp fire and read. Bob and MWH went for a ride and I read some more. I went and laid down in the tent and read until I fell asleep. It was heaven, pure heaven. They came back and we all went for another ride. The sky was blue, the air was cool and the wind was blowing perfectly. Every now and then though we'd see a bolt of lightening off in the distance....... giving us a hint of what was to come. We ignored the threats and rode on. I was riding with Bob and MWH was riding alone and grinning from ear to ear. A perfect day. We got to the end of our path and headed back and it started sprinkling. We were riding in the rain, smiling, enjoying the cool breezes and boom, it started pouring. I hopped off our ATV and got on with MWH while Bob raced back to camp to close the flaps on our tent. MWH and I rode back in the pouring rain and she was so happy. She just couldn't get enough. Bob came back and met up with us and we all rode in to camp together, parked the ATV's and hopped into the dry Jeep to towel off and laugh like hyenas!!!!!!!! That was sooooooooo much fun!

We went into town and had ice cream at Sonic and waited for the storm to blow over. It took about an hour but it did. The rain didn't get inside the tent and our beds were dry so we went to bed and had a good nights sleep (ok, maybe not Bob, but I sure as hell did). I'd had a great day, lots of good food, a great book, fresh air, a nice ride and my kid grinning from ear to ear on that last ride...... perfect.

Sunday we packed up and headed home. We were home and unpacked by 10:00 and Bob took a nap and I read my Sunday papers. Ah, heaven. I sorted through the first 3 boxes of my Pampered Chef orders and got them ready for delivery. MWH and I did loads and loads of laundry. And I fondled over items I should have bought but ran out of money before I could. LOL

The afternoon was also good, a typical Sunday Wal-Mart run for groceries followed by relaxation. We even decided to go to an afternoon movie. MWH saw Surf's Up while Bob and I saw Knocked Up.

It sounds like the storm is getting stronger, I think I'm going to get off here for now but I will be back, it may be a few days but I'll be back........

I am sew not scared

2007-06-05T21:43:00.001-05:00

I do promise a weekend update later, right now though I have to BRAG!

Bob put in my kitchen window this weekend (major story behind that). I didn't want to put up another mini blind so I measured and headed to, where else, Wal-Mart in search of a kitchen curtain to suit my eclectic taste. I found a lovely ivy tier set that was affordable and bought it but the panel was too long, way too long. I didn't really want to sew it to fit so I decided that if I was going to have to sew anything I was going to sew what I wanted so I went BACK to Wal-Mart in search of ......

brace yourself......

fabric.

Yes. I vowed to make curtains.

To sew.

No, crack was not involved.

I purchased fabric. I purchased thread. I broke out in a sweat. I second guessed myself. I questioned my sanity. I pinched myself repeatedly to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

The patern I chose was a lovely green based polka dotted patern with bright white daisy's with little yellow centers. There's a wide border at the base that says "All Things Grow With Love".

Still, no crack.

I measured, I pondered, I sweat some more. And yes, I cut.

I cut into the fabric with vigor and enthusiasm.

I prepared my sewing machine and ironing board. I wound a new bobbin and tested it. It was wound wrong so I had to start again..... ugh. The second time was the charm and my stitches looked great and pretty much, to my surprise, were straight! I sewed with passion and determination. I sewed and ironed and made it look good. I got the bottom and the top of my first panel just perfectly. I was so proud. Ah, I was so stupid. You gotta do the sides first......

Ok, my second panel though turned out fabulously. I did the sides first and then the bottom. I went onto the second panel before I finished the top of the first panel and I swear I looked like I knew what I was doing yet I did not! I amazed myself with my wisdom!!!!! There's nothing I can't do if I just try!

So, now my curtains are done and I'm so proud! Here are some pics, I'm truly tickled with how well they turned out!

quickly

2007-06-05T16:55:00.000-05:00

I had to go to the courthouse this morning for work.

My "job" was to go to the 3rd floor and find a judge and to file some papers. It was at the same time as the arraignments so it was full of people who are "innocent until proven guilty" and let me tell you it was FULL. Standing. Room. Only.

So, I run around and get my papers signed and filed and I go to leave and as I'm leaving a man taps me on the shoulder. I turned around and he said he'd followed me down from the 3rd floor and wanted to ask me out for a cup of coffee.

I smiled at the man and kindly said no. First, I work for a law firm and I know that the only people her at the courthouse at this time are people who are being arraigned and unless you've got a bar card it probably wasn't going to happen. Second, my husband of 17 years frowns on me dating. And, third, Jimmy, I've known you since I was 12. You're my cousin's cousin.

All he could say was shit.

I love being thinner, no one recognizes me anymore.

Oy vey, I'm alive!

2007-05-29T20:22:00.000-05:00

Goooooooood grief it's been too long since I've had the time to blog.

In the past few weeks I've been runnink amok. Amok. Amok. Amok.

I've presided over my last PTSO meeting of the school year. I've had my nails done. Twice. I've had my toes done. I've coordinated an 8th grade graduation. I've emcee'd an awards ceremony. I've had a yard sale. I've drank. I've used my garage sale proceeds to purchase a tank of gas in both Bob's truck and my Jeep as well as a fine, greasy dinner from Long John Silvers. I've seen Shrek the Third or whatever it is. I've seen my beautiful, amazing child mature from a 7th grader into an 8th grader. I've developed not one but two zits on my face. I've been mosquito bit 7 times. I've even received a promotion of some sorts at work.

This is just the tip of the ice berg. I know there is more. Lots more.

Let me think....... nah, I don't wanna.

This weekend was my garage sale. I had so much shit it was amazing. I sold clothes like you would not believe. My God was I fat. I put on a pair of my old shorts. Shorts that were tight on me. And I nearly fell over getting them off! My kid climbed in with me too and they were still too big! It was hilarious!

Looking back it's hard to remember being that big. I still feel like I'm there but I know I'm not. I can cross my legs. I can sit in a theater seat. I don't need a seat belt extender for my vehicles (or airplanes or whatever). I can ride a rollercoaster. I can walk around a theme park and enjoy myself. I can buy clothes in the misses section. I can do so much now that I thought I could do before but I was only fooling myself. I was half assing so much while, in reality, I was double assing it. So sad....... I was so sad.

This weekend I'm having a Pampered Chef party. I'm nervous and excited. Anxious and eager. Ok, I'm a total wreck. The last party I had totally sucked. The consultant lady freakin' FORGOT about my party and had to reschedule it! I had a house full of people who I had bribed with fancy little finger foods and alcohol and she forgets about me. That is just wrong. I do think this will be fun though, lots of fun!!!!!!!

I've spent a lot of time watching movies lately. Here's what I can remember off the top of my head:

Shrek III - not as good as the first 2 but Mike Myers rocks and you simply have to see it. HAVE TO. The babies don't come in until the end and that depressed me but I loved the dragon/donkey babies. So freakin' adorable. The princesses cracked me up, very funny.

Music & Lyrics - excellent, very sweet and romantic. I loved it. Drew Barrymore is just the perfect romantic lead. She owned that part. I loved Hugh Grant too. He's dopey yet adorable. Classic yet quirky. Definitely gotta watch it again.

Catch & Release - This movie was one I really wanted to see. I thought it was a romantic comedy and it was sort of. The male lead, Timothy Olyphant, was Seth Bullock in Deadwood and let me tell you he was definitely a reason to watch Deadwood. I'm also a big fan of Jennifer Garner, she's so perky and beautiful, so sweet and just nice. The movie wasn't as good as I expected, or really just wasn't what I expected. It was good, but just not what I thought.......

The Departed - Leo DiCaprio is someone that I've watched for a very long time. Not because I wanted to, but because he's been in a lot of shows. I remember him as a little boy in Growing Pains, he wasn't Boner, but he was in the cast. Then I watched him in What's Eating Gilbert Grape and Titanic and soooooo many other movies. He's never really impressed me although he is good. My old Bosslady really liked him and so at her urging I watched him in The Aviator and Catch Me If You Can. Again, good movies, just not something that grabbed me. Now, this movie, The Departed, that grabbed me. He was mature and total eye candy. Mark Walberg is also eye candy, ok, not so much in this, but still. Matt Damon, helloooooooo eye candy!!!!!!! I love a good mob movie and this was good, I'll probably buy it I liked it so much.

Because I Said So - This was excellent. One to watch with your mother if you and your mother are close and if you're not it'll embarrass the snot out of her and make you feel good. LOL Definitely one I'll want to buy once the price goes down!!

This weekend looks to be a fair one. We're going camping and I'm having a Pampered Chef party. I have to clean my house some more and buy goodies for the party, oh joy. I have to wonder if I'm on crack sometimes.......

Week in Review

2007-05-17T21:29:00.000-05:00

It's ~~Thursday~~ Friday and I've had no time to share, no time to blog, no time to do anything.

Saturday was the 17th anniversary of my wedding. Yes, I've been married for 17 long years. I don't know how we've managed to stay together this long but we have. Go figure. My mom came over and watched MWH while Bob and I went out. We had a fantastic dinner at the restaraunt at the new casino in Wyandotte, I think it's called Twin Rivers. The portions are huge and the prices are decent. Slightly high, but who isn't anymore? I wish they'd lower the portion size AND the price too but oh well. We had a nice time out but I'm glad I only have 1 anniversary a year.

Sunday was Mother's Day and I did NOT get to sleep in. How fucking hard is it to NOT wake me up? 'nuf said

MWH and I spent the day baking. We baked a birthday cake for one of the attorneys I work with and then we baked little rounds for my mom and for me and MWH. They were sooooooo yummy. I made home made butter cream icing and we had fresh strawberries and ooooooooh my goodness, YUMOOOOOO!

Monday I took off work early so I could go to Tulsa with a new friend of mine, T, to go to a WLS support group meeting. I met some really nice folks and we all went out to eat at Cheddar's afterwards. I didn't get home until midnight but it was fantastic!

I took Tuesday off because I had a day coming since I worked on my birthday last month so I stayed home and did little to nothing. Ok, I lied. I watched "Because I Said So" on DVD and I slept. I did a little laundry and I slept. I cried and I slept. I did get out the ol' Rainbow and vacuumed the whole house. God my carpets are filthy. I need a new everyday vacuum.......

Wednesday I went to lunch with my new friend, T, and one of her not so new friends, B. These ladies like to play the ponies and I sooooooo did not know what was going on. I fear that I could learn it though. LOL I always thought you had to bet big on horses but oy vey was I wrong! They were betting $2 and $3 on a race and having a hoot and a half! I never did get enough guts to do it but maybe next time...... maybe.

Thursday evening MWH was inducted into the National Junior Honor Society. I am so extremely proud of her!!!!!!!!!!! I asked a work client's son if he was going to be in NJHS and he said no, he wasn't being abducted. I nearly fell out of my chair. His dad slapped him up the head and said INducted, boy, NOT ABducted!! Then he muttered, no wonder.......... LOL HILARIOUS!!!!!!! After the induction we went out to dinner at my fav Mexican place and it didn't taste right so I threw it up 30 minutes later. Ah, life is good. LOL

I got home in time to watch the season finale of Grey's Anatomy and oh how I wish my life were like that. Who would I be most like? Ok, none of them, I have no desire to be that smart or skilled or talented. Who am I fooling?

Today Bob called me to tell me gas is up to $3.29 at Murphy USA. Hello, WTF? We will NOT be eating out this week. Not. One. Single. Time. PERIOD. Why is gas so high? Don't we have control in Iraq?????????

Well my lunch hour is almost over and I'm angry about the price of gas so I guess I'll get off here before I really get pissed off.

utter exhaustion

2007-05-11T05:19:00.000-05:00

that is my definition of ME this week

utterly

completely

exhausted

Monday night, at 12:32 am, Bob woke me up to take him to the emergency room. He'd been throwing up since about 30 minutes after dinner at the Mexican place I hate (MWH picked the place, I just can't deny my kid). If you want to know which place, just walk a 1/2 block east of my office and you'll see it. LOL

So I throw on my sweats and take him to the hospital and the healing ensues. Bob has thrown up at least 20 times. He's cold, clammy, sweaty, tired, achey, sore and miserable. I'm just tired. They draw some blood and then put an IV in his arm and walk away, finally about 45 minutes later they hook him up to the IV fluids. Sheesh...... At 1:30 or so, Bob tells me to go home and check on MWH. He kept my cell so he could call me when he was ready to go home. The doctor said it would only be another hour or two so when I do get home I didn't go to sleep. I figured a few minutes of sleep would be more of a problem than no sleep. I don't know if I was right or wrong. LOL I dozed off around 3:45 or so and he calls me at 4:30 to come get him. He walked out all my himself, that was impressive considering he pretty much crawled in carrying a puke bucket. My alarm goes off at 6:00 and Bob had to call in to work at 6:30 so another short nap happened. Life is hell sometimes. Theree 45 minute cat naps can kill you. LOL

Tuesday morning after mere minutes of sleep over the past 12 hours I had to go BACK to the hospital to do my bloodwork so I had been fasting. Being up all night unable to eat (ok, not really a problem for me) or drink (that was a HUGE problem) is hard!!!!!!! Wicked hard! The whole bloodwork fiasco was insane. The first lab was missing one of the countless vials I needed so I had to go over to the hospital to actually draw my labs. Once the needle was inserted, the phlebotomist (sp?) informed me that my $1000 labs would be cheaper if I had a DLO req rather than an Access req so, in the rain, I made countless trips between the hospital lab and the doctor's office center lab and my primary doctor's office..... In. The. Rain. ~~Tired.~~ Hungry. Thirsty. Cold. Wet.

I did finally make it to work and all was well. I was exhausted and felt like shit but work never stops and I love it. It kept me going all day. Granted, I was dragging ass but I was going.

MWH had her spring chorus concert at the Coleman Tuesday night so still couldn't get any rest but I did have some super fab conversation with Brady's Mom and her hubby who sat next to me. She's so nice and I'm so proud of her finishing her schooling!

I had the 8th grade promotion last night and I'll have to discuss that later...... I just can't bring myself to do it right now. LOL

This weekend looks to be full and there will be no rest yet again. Oh well, I'll die someday and there will be plenty of time to sleep!

Fun!!!!!!!

2007-05-10T06:51:00.001-05:00

This weekend was incredible for me. Mrs. Coach and I took our girls to Branson. We. Had. Fun. No men, no responsibilities, no regret! LOL

Mrs. C picked me and Miss Whineyhiney up first thing and we hit the road with both feet running. The girls were in a great mood, we were chatty and happy and the weather was outstanding! Our first stop was Silver Dollar City (as we all have season passes) and actually, the traffic wasn't too bad, just the last 3 miles or so was slow, not nearly as bad as when I chaperoned the chorus trip though! We entered the park and headed towards the Wildfire ride and Nati got stung by a bee. Poor child, she's allergic! Mrs. C comforted her and I sprang into first aid mode and asked a restaraunt for a food serving glove full of ice. Nati cried a bit but was fine after all the attention and ice and we went on, nothing was going to stop us from having a great day! We had honey sticks and walked and talked and made it to Wildfire. Mrs. C and I had never ridden it before, Mrs. C because she usually had to stay with the kiddos and me because I was too fat, so we left the girls to fend for themselves and we rode it together. Wildfire virgins we are not! That was soooooooo much fun, never had I ridden one like that before! WOW!!!!!!!! After our wild ride, Mrs. C rode it again with MWH so I could take a gander at the gift shop. I bet Nati will be tall enough next year though...... Although, there were kids smaller than her riding it, I just don't understand why parents are so freakin' stupid. Helloooooo, there is a minimum height requirement!

After plunging off of Wildfire and getting that milestone out of the way we walked more and headed over to the exposition area which is mostly for kids. We rode the kiddie swings and that was pretty much it for me. I'm so afraid of heights it's not even funny. I am OK if I'll die from the fall but if I'm just gonna get hurt and break something I don't want any part of it. I did NOT like those little kiddie swings at all. Nope. Not at all. MWH was next to me and I kept kicking her seat, the ride operator had to come over and show me how to put my seat thing on and it nearly embarrassed me but hell, I was having so much fun! I fit into the seat, the first time in about 20 years!!!!!!! He teased me about kicking MWH and said I'd better behave or he'd kick me off the ride. LOL That would have been right up my alley....... LOL

After the swings, I'd had enough of being lifted off the ground for a while so Mrs. C and I sat back and enjoyed the sun and the cool, spring breezes. We also gawked at the idiots around us and enjoyed our girls entertaining each other. That is such a great feeling, being able to sit and chat while your kids are safe, happy and having fun. Loved that part......

The girls rode tons of rides in the expo area and I cried. Ok, so I didn't cry but my eyes looked like I did. I had put on a ton of sun block and it was running down into my eyes and tearing me up. I kept washing my eyes but it wasn't helping. Mrs. C said it was probably the bushes around me and I think she was right. They smelled like body odor, NASTY!!!!!!!

Again we walked and talked and hit a few shops. Mrs. C found the mill and bought Mr. Coach some freshly milled flour and baking stuff so she can do some kitchen magic for him. The mill was really neat, they showed how they do it all and the girls thought it was neat! It smelled soooooooo good in there! YUM!

We had lunch at Mary's Springhouse, a little Italian eatery and it really was good. The food is really expensive but the portions were plenty big enough that MWH and I shared and still threw a lot away, I'm so glad we didn't get two meals! Actually, one dish would have probably served all 4 of us if we'd really thought about it. LOL

Next I think we went to the Lost River. We were in line for about 15 minutes or so and a ton of people in front of us left. They were all muttering that the ride was closed or that it was going to be a 2 to 3 hour wait. Mrs. C said they'd done that last time too and it wasn't that long...... so we waited. Poor Mrs. C and her ankle....... The line did seem to go on forever, we waited for right at an hour and finally did make it up to the raft. Just us 4, no one else, that was nice. Mrs. C and I got freakin' soaked, the girls, not so much..... Why is that? LOL They wanted it, we didn't!! LOL Ah, kids! Here is a pic of the girls on the rocks while we were waiting in line for the Lost River.

After that we did some more shopping and walking and bought some fresh pork rinds and talked more. We decided to hit the candy store and make our way out of the park. It was such a great day!!!!!!

It's hilarious too though how you run into people you know when you're on vacation. Mrs. C ran into a relative of hers, I know her from Girl Scouts and she's also a Mary Kay rep. I ran into a guy I went to grade school with, Brandy Williams, and his family. MHS's chorus and WRMS band was there so MWH saw lots of her friends. And I ran into Angie and her family as we were heading out!! Lots of people out and about, you just can't go anywhere anymore! LOL

We left the park and went to the Settle Inn to check into our room and unload before we hit the Landing. We were VERY impressed with our room, not bad for $59.98 plus tax! Here are some pics of the girls with the midevil statues.

We went to the Branson Landing for dinner at Waxy O'Shea's and it was simply divine!! We walked and talked and saw a beautiful water and light show which is simply amazing. We did a little shopping, I can't say no to a Build-A-Bear store....... ever. I swear we have 5 animals (or is it 6 now?) and enough clothes to clothe a 3rd world nation. MWH's almost too big for BABW stuff but I'll never outgrow it! LOL

The girls were exhausted and ready to swim so we headed back to the castle, er um hotel, and swam a little. Mrs. C got the cutest swim suit! I'm so jealous. She's proportioned right and doesn't have all the lumps like me....... if I didn't like her so much I'd have given her dirty, go to hell looks and splashed her 'cause I'm mean like that........ LOL

I don't remember what time we crashed but let me tell you we all went to sleep fast, it didn't take long at all, everyone had spent every bit of energy we had running around all day!

Sunday we had the continental breakfast at the hotel lobby and I kid you not we were the youngest people in the room. There was a seriously tacky Elvis impersonator singing gospel and he was seriously not good. Seriously.

The Settle Inn has lots of theme rooms and Mrs. C wants to stay in the Gone With The Wind room so we asked the front desk to show us some of the theme rooms and that was entirely awesome! The GWTW room was booked so we didn't see it but I do believe we'll get a theme room the next time we go!

Our next stop was at the Amish store where we indulged in chocolate milk mix lots of other yummies. We headed back to the Landing so we could Ride the Ducks and finish up our shopping. The girls got to play "Captain". Here's MWH in the captain's seat! (I'm sure Mrs. C will put up Nati's pic too.)

We ate lunch at Famous Dave's and had the best freakin' BBQ I've had in years! YUMMOOOOOOO! Mrs. Coach and Nati sure do know how to pick 'em!

If you still haven't been to the Branson Landing you're really missing something. You've simply got to go. All I can say is that it's brought Branson into the 21st century. They have shops, REAL shops, not outlets. It has atmosphere and style. It's just very modern yet comfortable.

I know there was more that I wanted to share but it's Thursday and I've been working on this one single fucking post since Monday so I'm done.

serious thoughs

2007-05-02T21:50:00.000-05:00

I'm having serious thoughts of deleting my blog.

Who has time to post anymore? Not me..... I'm too busy LIVING life, I barely have time to pee let alone post about whether my tp is single ply or quilted or what. Hellooooooo, who really gives a fuck anyway?

Tomorrow marks my 1 year anniversary from having my surgery. As of this moment, I'm 136 pounds lighter than I was 1 year ago. That's a lot of weight. A lot. I keep getting asked how much more I want to lose and I still don't have an answer. I just want to be healthy. I'm still 40 pounds or so away from a "healthy" BMI. I don't know if I want to be that thin or not..... I have a lot of thinking to do. I like where I'm at now, would I like less of me more?

I have a major project that I'm involved in and I don't like it. I'm in over my head and wish I weren't involved. The shoes I was left to fill are tremendous and there's no way that I can fill them. I know someone is going to run me down after it's all said and done but I just don't care anymore. No one else wanted to even try...... Bite me.

I'm seriously thinking of telling someone off. I'm not sure if it's truly necessary, that they deserve it, or if I'm just being bitchy. I'll probably just let it all slide...... who knows. I just know I can't take much more of it.

Before I log off, I need to say good night to someone...... They know who they are. (((HUG)))

lots - o - random crap

2007-04-29T18:32:00.000-05:00

Hear ye, hear ye, this is my first "official" post since I've turned 35. A normal person would think that I turned 35 at the stroke of midnight on the day of my birth however my mother has always informed me that I don't "turn" a year older until 6:15 pm. So, I am officially 35 now and it's been painless so far.

My birthday didn't bring much in the loot department. Actually, the only "gifts" I got that day were the two lovely floral arrangements I posted about earlier. I brought the flowers home and oh man my house smells so good from my sisters hyacinths. I don't know if you plant those suckers outside or if you keep them inside...... gotta figure that one out soon though....... either way thugh my house smells so nice.

(UPDATE!!!!!!!! While I didn't get much loot the day OF my birthday, I did receive lots of loot before and after my birthday! My wonderful friend Cruella got me some snazzy jewelry and other trinkets earlier in the month and she mailed me the sweeeeeeetest hand made card with a Build-A-Bear coupon and some spendin' money and my dear, fantastic, multitalented, amazingly awesome friend Mrs. Coach gave me a much needed, incredibly wonderful vanilla scented candle that says, appropriately, Happy Birthday!)

Bob gave me a very nice card with some extra money in it for my upcoming Branson weekend. MWH gave me a card too but she also gave me a "coupon" good for one free ear piercing. I really want to get my ears pierced again. Bob thinks it's a bad idea, he doesn't think I need another hole in my head..... whatever.

After work Wednesday, Bob and I hit the casinos for my birthday free play. It wasn't a spectacular night, nothing really stands out now, but I did come home with more money than I left with and I bought dinner and gave Bob cash to gamble on. Not bad night but not a 1099 night either. LOL

******************************************
Saturday MWH and I hit a few garage sales. Again, nothing spectacular, but anytime I spend with my kid is time well spent. I did ruin a perfectly good pair of pants, which totally chaps my ass, but oh well, live and learn. I can NOT eat and drive at the same time. LOL I was eating a breakfast burrito from Braums while driving and got grease all over my pants right in the lap area. Granted, a year ago my big, fat gut would have collected the greasy drippings but not that my gut isn't what it used to be, the drippings fell into my lap and landed on my Wardog sweats. I've washed them but the stains are still there........ I guess I'll try one more time and then they're going into the garage sale box.

After changing clothes, MWH and I went to Joplin to get our ears pierced. Did you know that Wal-Mart, Claire's and Icing are the ONLY places to get your ears pierced? I do not find this good. Not at all. While I don't want a doctor to pierce my ear, I do want someone who has been trained a little better at piercing flesh than some 19 year old who has no experience in life or anything relevent let alone who learned to pierce ears from a computer training session.

In the end, MWH decided to NOT get hear ears pierced and since I wanted to do it together, a mother/daughter bonding thing, we both are now unpierced. It's all good though, we may do it next weekend.

*****************************************
Today we went to a birthday luncheon in honor the birthdays of both Bob and myself. You gotta love great friends who cook spectacular meals for you just 'cause they love you. I made a damned near sugar free trifle and it was OUTSTANDING if I do say so myself. I do not like the seeds in the blackberries but next time I'll just leave those little fuckers out.

After our delicious lunch and hours of mind boggling chatter, MWH and I went to see Disturbia at the local theater. I must admit it was very good. Shia Lebouf is growing up and he really looks good. David Morse, who I adored in The Green Mile, was sooooooo deviant, I LOVED IT! OK, I just love movies. Really, I do....... I wish I had the eye to know how to shoot scenes and stuff like that. It would be so awesome to be gifted like that.

My weekend is nearly over and I didn't do half of what I planned to. Why can't I figure out how to stop time? I just want to finish a few things....... When did finishing just ONE thing get so hard? Today I looked at my calendar for May and nearly fell over. I desperately need to be cloned. I don't know how I'm going to get it all done.

Mrs. Coach and I have a trip planned next weekend with out precious girls to go to Branson and Silver Dollar City. I'm sooooooo freakin' excited. I don't really have the TIME to go but dammit I'm going anyway!!!!!!! I'm going to get my hand made into a candle and ride on the rides I didn't get to ride on last week. WOO HOO!!!!!!! Silver Dollar City, HERE I COME!!!!!!!

Birthday WISHES!!!!

2007-04-25T14:25:00.001-05:00

WOW!!!!!!!!!!! I had no idea I was so loved! Everyone has called and emailed and came up to see me today to tell me to have a GREAT BIRTHDAY! So far, I am!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! You've all made my day!

My sister and her two adorable boys, my favorite little nephews, sent me a beautiful arrangement of purplish pink hyacinths (they smell soooooooooooooooo incredible) and my friend Susan, her son Kasey and her mom, Sue, sent me three yellow roses in a really neat red glass cube that I can put ink pens or whatever in later!

Both of you are super thoughful and that just made my day! THANKS!!!!!!! I have even received some birthday cards in the mail this week too, thanks Cruella! YOU ROCK!

The girls here in the office gave me a really sweet card with some cold, hard cash in it, nothing beats CASH!!!!! So, a quick thanks for the birthday wishes to Cruella, Tara, Terra, Jean, Sheila, Lora, Tera, Cyndi, Doreen, Lisa, Kim, Cean, The Real Kid, and I know I'm missing a few folks out there....... major brain block here. LOL

Ok, I'm at work and it's starting to get busy again so I'd better get off here. Thanks again though, really, it means soooooooooooooo much!

brain farts

2007-04-24T20:45:00.000-05:00

my brain is hurting

aching

throbbing

ive had oodles of thoughts and ideas and topics to discuss but i just can't

i can't even use caps

not even punctuation

im tired

tomorrow i turn 35

im not feeling old
really i'm not

im just tired
really tired

ok to the good news (yeah there is some)

1 the dance is over
we made a profit *giggle like a girl*
miss whineyhiney had a great time as did her friends

2 branson is over
i had a blast
i did not huff and puff and turn all red like i did last time i was there
i did not pass out from the continuous uphill trek that is known as silver dollar city
i did not cuss or bitch because i was too fat and desperately wanted to rent an electric wheelchair to get around
i did get sunburned on my neck ouch
miss whineyhiney had a super fantastic wonderful time as did her friends

3 tomorrow is my birthday
tomorrow is all about me
nothing will bring me down
it's all going to be gooooooooooooood

4 tomorrow is also administrative professionals day
this means that my bossmen are taking me out for lunch
this means that i can be more lippy than usual (hehehe)
this means that i can enjoy the day which is also my birthday

**************************************************

if you get a chance, head over to mrs coach and tell her how she freakin rawks

she practically aced a test and let me tell you that is no small feat

shes a full time adult
shes got a full time paying job, two young kids and a husband in need of constant supervision and two dogs and a grandma who all challenge her sanity on a daily basis

i swear to god and all that is holy this woman is not allowed time to pee at home let alone time to do homework

i simply don't know how she does it

she is my hero *bow to the queen*

********************************************

ok now to tell you about the latest april

i was asked to chaperone the branson trip in december

i have been asking who and what and when and why and where for four months

i have been ignored

finally i did find out that my ticket into silver dollar city would be paid for and that i just had to watch over a small group of teens

i would not be responsible for driving or for much other than myself

this i could do

so i show up at 6am for roll call

~~i was exhausted from the previous nights dance~~i was exhausted from the previous months mayhem

at roll call i discover that there are oodles of parents who are chaperoning oodles oodles is a lot where were these oodles of parents when i needed chaperones for the previous nights dance ooooooooodles

so many parents in fact that i who was asked to chaperone a mere four months prior was omitted from the divy of the children list

not a problem

i went and had a great day and felt it was my duty to watch over all the children running amok in wardog t shirts

life is good

tomorrow is my 35th birthday as well as secretarys day as well as hump day as well as natinal dna day a day that only mrs coach celebrates as well as national zucchini bread day and natinal denim day

and on that note i think i'll proceed with my branson story

i took enough money with me to turn in our school purchased yet student earned daily silver dollar city tickets into season tickets for me and miss whineyhiney

unfortunately though i discovered our tickets were only worth $16 which leaves a $50 balance due for each season pass

i was not amused with this information

i moped, i bitched, i wrinkled my nose

and then i had a brain fart

i walked up to some complete strangers and asked them if they were leaving the park and they were

i asked them if they would give me their tickets into the park so i could trade them in for season passes

they did

my friend nearly fell over

we i did it three more times

i got enough tickets for me, miss whineyhiney and bob to all have season tickets and it cost me $69 which is pretty much how much one season pass costs

rock on

i also shared my wealth and my friend who nearly fell over also got season tickets for her family too

overall i think i had a fantastic weekend

spring weather, Don Imus, Anna Nicole Smith and more

2007-04-14T21:36:00.000-05:00

OK, first, let's talk about the weather here in Oklahoma. Hello, it's April. April as in the month, not April as in me. April as in rain and wind and spring and Easter. Well, this April we have had rain, wind, spring and Easter as well as snow, hail and sleet. Yeah, fun. I love winter weather, really I do, but winter weather should end when spring starts.

Now onto Don Imus. Never in my life have I watched Don Imus on his show nor did I ever listen to him on the radio. I've seen his picture and snippets of his show during commercials, but I don't watch news shows like that and I especially hate shock jocks so that type of show has never appealed to me. Having said that though, the nappy headed ho's comment irked me. Not the nappy headed part but the ho's part. Hellooooooo, that is wrong. Most of these women DID have nappy hair so how is that an insult? Maybe to the 2 white girls on the team, but hello, not the whole team. LOL

I watched a youtube clip of the infamous discussion and what I heard is not being discussed on any of the talk shows so I don't know if I heard something that had been adlibbed or what but the clip I heard had two voices, Imus and someone else. I heard Imus clear as day make his insult, then someone else started talking and said something about the girls being "jigaboos" and I nearly fell out of my chair! That was NOT Imus talking and I'm sorry but "jigaboo" is really racist comment. Why aren't they talking about THAT on all the talk shows?

Anna Nicole Smith's daughter, Danielynn's father is Larry Burkhead. Mystery solved. Now we can resume our lives in peace. Wait, no we can't, the saga about Marshall's estate has to be resolved and we have to find out if this kid gets his millions...... sheesh, no wonder all the daytime soaps are dying off, real life is so much better.

*************************

Bob is gone, he's been planning a trip down to the Kiamichi mountains to go turkey hunting. Bigfoot beware. He left Friday morning while I was at work and the drama has ensued ever since. LOL MWH had to be in Joplin by 8:00pm Friday night for a Girl Scout trip. So we had dinner and went to Joplin in the pouring rain. We hydroplaned and I was crawling on I-44. I hate driving in the rain..... So, we get to the Girl Scout Council to drop off my precious child and to my surprise they had cancelled the trip! Yes, cancelled. Part of me was upset because I had made plans for the weekend WITHOUT a husband AND a child but the other part was happy 'cause the weather was bad but then when I got thinking about it I was upset because we had to drive in this nasty crap when all they had to do was call and say, hey, don't come at 8:00, call first, we may cancel. They were taking a charter bus to Hutchinson, Kansas to a cosmosphere for a really cool workshop. The charter bus wasn't going to leave until 5:30 am so there was plenty of time to call people.

MWH was super excited, she'd made plans with her friends but changed them when this trip came up. I was elated 'cause I had a drunk planned. Now we're both disappointed 'cause neither of us got what we'd planned but it's turning out ok, we needed this quiet weekend.

Anyway, we got to Joplin with enough time to hit Kohl's and Target and did a little clearance shopping. I had found a swim suit when I was at Target a few weeks ago but even on clearance it wasn't cheap enough for me. Well, when we went back Friday night it was marked down yet again so I bought it! WHOO HOO!! I got a brand new swim suit for less than $10, it was normally $40!!!!!! I love Target!!!!!!! I really like it too, it has a halter top that ties around the neck so the straps won't fall down and my boobs won't fall down!! Sweeeeeet! Now I can't wait for the pool to open!

Ok, here's the drama I went through last night. Bob left on his trip Friday morning while I was at work. He told me a week or so ago that he'd leave his truck here in the back yard (where he normally parks). So, I get home, run to Joplin, get back home and decide to run out to High Winds to get my $13 Friday the 13th free play and glance over to the back yard and there's not a truck in my back yard. Helloooooo, panic ensues. Bob is in the boonies, he has no cell reception until he gets into a town, he only goes to town once a day, usually for dinner. I don't know who he's with down there, I don't know where they live at to see if his truck is at their house, I don't know whether or not I should call the police and file a stolen truck report, I just don't know. So what do I do? I order a few cosmos and clear my head. Bob did finally call me tonight and the truck is in Wyandotte at his friends' house, it's safe and secure and I panicked for nothing. Oh well, that's life.

Today MWH and I went to the new theater to see Blades of Glory. I really didn't know what to think, I like the actors in it, but I wasn't sure if it would be funny or just stupid. I hate to waste $12 of hard earned money on stupid. I'd much rather rent stupid...... But it was funny, maybe not necassarily $12 funny, but it was worth it to spend the time with my kid and do something different. We can't wait until the new Shrek movie comes out!!

I know there was more that I was going to post but it's been days now and the moment has passed....... sorry. LOL

one, two, three...... thoughts from me

2007-04-08T19:10:00.000-05:00

The rule of this meme is simple, answer each thing on the list with no more and no less than three words:

01. Where is your cell phone? on the charger
02. Boyfriend/girlfriend? husband, 17 years
03. Hair? short, curly, graying
04. Your mother? far, far away
05. Your father? so not worthy
06. Your favorite item(s)? Kaitlyn, laptop, Jeep
07. Your dream last night? snakes, water, ice skates
08. Your favorite drink? Baileys and cream
09. Your dream guy/girl? not going there
10. The room you are in? great family room
11. Your fear? birds, clowns, debt
12. What do you want to be in 10 years? me, myself, I
13. Who did you hang out with last night? Bob, MWH, family
14. What are you not? rich, rich, rich
15. Are you in love? sometimes I am
16. One of your wish list items? big diamond ring
17. What time is it? prime time TV
18. The last thing you did? went to bathtroom
19. What are you wearing? pajama pants, t-shirt
20. Your favorite book? anything Jodi Picoult
21. The last thing you ate? spaghetti with mushrooms
22. Your life? mine, all mine
23. Your mood? like ugh whatever
24. Your friends? few but great
25. What are you thinking about right now? wonderful, warm tea
26. Your car? fantastic Jeep Liberty
27. What are you doing at this moment? taking this survey
28. Your summer? hopeful, optimistic, promising
29. Your relationship status? married too long
30. What is on your TV screen? Extreme Home Makeover
31. When is the last time you laughed? I don't remember
32. Last time you cried? not your business
33. School? 29 college hours

Turn back time

2007-04-05T12:38:00.000-05:00

Last Wednesday evening about 9:00pm my friends from the northwest came barreling in. They left Cody, WY on Tuesday morning and ran into engine problems Wednesday around noon. They were making good time, damn good time actually, but then something mechanical happened and it set them back five hours and $400. Not good. I was at Pizza Hut Express when they hit the house so I didn't get to see all the ooooooh's and aaaaaaaah's to the fresh paint and new furniture. Yeah, I was a bit pissed. The people at Pizza Hut Express are totally on my shit list. I'll have to write about that later though.

Ok, positive thoughts......

Thursday morning we got up and went to Joplin, the guys in one vehicle to do man stuff and us girls in another to do some REAL shopping. Cruella and I shopped our asses off and had such a great time. I truly believe that the woman at Sam's Club's jewelry counter will never be the same again. LOL We also made a dent in the inventory at Michael's, Best Buy, JoAnn's, Hobby Lobby, Masterson's........ My mind, it's numb, I can think no more. We also hit every Wal-Mart in the tri-state area in search of an elusive corner rounding stamp that Cruella had seen and had not bought, needless to day we never found it but we did do a nice number on the inventory of four different Wal-Mart stores. LOL Applebee's was our lunch destination and I had the BEST chicken alfredo and spinach salad with shrimp. THE BEST. Hands down. EVER. Cruella's Asian chicken salad was good too, but I love me some good alfredo. Yummmmmmm. After burning up the plastic in Joplin, we came home to Miami and went out for dinner at Milagro's (the ol' Coyote's fave) and again hit Wal-Mart to burn off a few calories and to socialize. Wal-Mart is the modern "water cooler" if you ask me. LOL

Friday we hit Joplin again, more shopping, more jewelry counter raids and more, more, more!!!! We met up with the boys for lunch, again at Applebees and Cruella found glass in her Asian chicken salad and we ALL got our entire meals free. Sweeeeeeeeet. Yes, it was a pretty large piece of glass and she was very upset over it but she wasn't hurt and that's the important thing. Cruella's latest craft obsession is making cards, kinda like scrapbooking but a little different. I have a shit load of craft crap here and I don't know why I don't do anything with it..... Guess I need to change that. Ok, back to the whirlwind I call life. We stopped at Sam's on the way home for some of their wonderful shrimp. I love their shrimp, I love protein. We feasted like kings on Sam's jumbo shrimp and headed off to the ballet at the Coleman Theatre Beautiful for an exciting performance of Cats.

Now, I've never seen Cats and I was really excited to see it. I paid the $9 a head to get in and we got our nosebleed seats in the rear and 15 minutes after the time it SHOULD have started the stage came to life with the cast of Cats. The costumes were fantastic but they were having some technical difficulties with the microphones and this little BRAT behind me kept kicking my fucking chair and saying how she couldn't see over my big head. Hellooooo, I'm not deaf and I still have the sense of touch in my butt so I can feel you kicking me!! After about 20 minutes, I got fed up and found Ms. Snootypants and asked for a refund because of the crap and we left. Yeah, I suck, I should have left my money there, but dammit I'm poor and can't afford to pay for something I don't get to see.

Saturday morning we headed to Tulsa. Again in two separate vehicles, the boys were going to the gun show and we girls were headed to the mall and to find some scrapbook stores. We found the mall. JC Penney's, Zales, Disney, Build-A-Bear...... oh my goodness. There just wasn't enough time to see much more!!!!!!! The boys called and were ready for lunch so we were off to PF Chang's and OH MY GAWD was that food good!! I'd never been to a Chang's before so I was really excited. I was NOT impressed with our waiter or the atmosphere. He was a little too "know it all" for my taste and the restaraunt was entirely too noisey but the food was truly incredible and I'm so glad I got to go. Awesome. One of those things in life you flat out have to do. HAVE TO DO. We ditched the men and headed to another shopping center by the Promenade Mall, we hit Old Navy, Michael's and more. MWH got a great bikini at Old Navy and I got a new shirt that I desperately needed.

Sunday the boys went ATVing and we girls went back to Joplin to find the last bargains we could. A lot of the stores we wanted to visit were closed. Sundays, dammit...... But we made due. LOL We hit paydirt at JC Penney's yet again, I swear, we should have been kicked out of there though. LOL

Sadly though my friends left Monday and left me alone. It's just not the same without them...... I wish I could turn back time and start Thursday all over again, it was so much fun!!!!!!!!

Eternity

2007-04-05T07:52:00.001-05:00

Bob and I have spent the past two months doing lots of dirty, disgusting things. Things like painting, hanging drywall and installing doors. Lots of dirty, dirty, dirty things. My house has been covered in dust and I have cleaned and been pissed off to no end to discover yet more fucking dust.

Bob has about 7 open projects going on right now, they will never end. I'm helpless in most of our remodeling endeavors. The best I can do is hand him a beer and make sure that there is another one chilling in the freezer. Yeah, I'm goooooood.

Having said all that though, one thing is done. We bought new furniture. Profanity was used though trying to get it into the house though, you have to take off the feet, it can't ever just be easy. Oh well, life goes on. Here is a pic of the sofa and loveseat, I also got the chair too, all I need now is the ottoman. Amazingly it looks GREAT in my living room. The scarlet color matches the strip in Bob's blue recliner. I'm so happy this ONE task is COMPLETE!!!!!!!!

Spring Break 2007

2007-03-21T08:37:00.000-05:00

Hello, 4:30 am, my name is Stoopid.

This is Spring Break week and we have little plans.

MWH is on a 4-H trip today, they went to the Sam Noble Museum of Natural History in Norman, OK. I've been up since the butt crack of dawn to get her to her departure destination on time and now I'm at work and have been for the last two hours. It's break time......

I do have so much more to say but so little time right now, more later. Methinks I'm going to nap during my lunch hour. LOL

Pancakes, beer koozies and lunar eclipses, oh my!!

2007-03-19T20:20:00.000-05:00

Saturday morning, March 3rd, we went to our city's annual customer appreciation pancake breakfast. It's so cool how all the city employees are smiling and cheerful on a Saturday morning. I love to be served pancakes by firemen and police officers. There's just something so....... what's the word.... confusing, no, that's not it..... about it. We've been going to this thing for years and we love it. It's a great time to find out just what the people in engineering (and other who gives a crap departments) do, or to get those little toilet tablets that you can put in your tank to detect a leak, or to find out about local services you just didn't know were even available! I don't remember what the engineering lady told me she did and they weren't giving out the little toilet tablets and I really didn't find out about any new services this year but it was still fun and we signed up for all kinds of freebies and got some really neat beer koozies because, well, you just can't have enough beer related paraphernalia.

Later that night, we went to the Coleman Theatre Beautiful for our second Mystery Tour. Bob had never done it and MWH and I talked it up like crazy to get him there. BIG waste of time. The tour guides were the same as last time but they didn't go into detail about the history or anything. I was terribly sad over it all, it just wasn't nearly as good. We didn't get to sit in the balcony because they were cleaning the chandelier and it just sucked, $30 totally wasted. We did get to see the lunar eclipse though and that rocked.

Now, I know this post is old, it's from March 3rd for crying out loud, and I apologize. I just haven't had TIME to blog. We have been doing so much lately, I'm ready for the world to stop spinning, just for a few minutes.

March 10th, my bestest friend from my shitty child hood and I went out. I've known Terra since we were in 3rd grade and let me tell you she rocks. We spent the ENTIRE day having a blast!! We went to Christie's Toy Box and bought some naughty toys. Let me tell you I saw things in there that made me completely blush beyond belief. Terra has been divorced and single for over 3 years, she's got some cobwebs so she was like a kid in a candy store. I was a bit reserved and embarrassed. We did make purchases though and I'm pretty sure all items purchased have been used at least once. LOL Ok, Terra's probaby used more batteries than me, but hey, whatever floats your boat. LOL

After the naughty store, we went to dinner at Mytho's, a Greek restaraunt that I had been dying to go to. It was very good. Terribly expensive, but VERY good. My boss gave me a heads up on what to order and he was right on the money. Terra can't wait to take a real date there and I can't wait to go again to order something different and more Greek than what Terra and I shared.

I gotta tell you, Terra has two fetishes, one is *soooooooo not gonna tell you* and the other is shoes, high heeled shoes. This girl wears a 5 or a 5 1/2 and she wears heels that are just insane. I don't know how she walks in them but she does. We shoe shopped nearly all day. I'm telling you, she's worse than Carrie from Sex and the City!! There were no shoe stores in Joplin safe from her wrath!!!

Next we hit the mall, yeah, boring, but hey, the girl can shop and anytime you get the two of us together NOTHING is boring, NOTHING!! She shopped so much she had to stop and take a break, her little tiny geisha feet were hurting from her high heeled shoes. LOL

Our last stop was at the theater where we saw Nic Cage in Ghost Rider. OH MY GAWD it was good. Ok, a little too comic bookish if you ask me but HELLOOOOOOO it was made from a comic book so I guess I'll just get over it. There were some scarey images and I definitely wouldn't take a kid under 12 to see it, but it was really good and Sam Elliot was in it too so it rawked. I even amazed Terra with my Nic skills when I told her there would be a lizard and low and behold there was a lizard!!! LOL I don't know why the girl doubts me, ever......

This weekend we worked on the house more. Projects, projects, projects, the are just NEVER going to get done!!

Last week I finished up my second week of physical therapy. I'm not sure if it's helping, I'm still in pain, but the pt guy is going on vacation this week and I see my dr. again this week so we'll see what he says. I did have a 50% mobility when I started and I'm up to 68% now so there is improvement, but for my age I should have 70% or better so I'm still behind.... sheesh, will I ever be normal?

In 10 short days my friends from Wyoming will be here. WOO HOO!!!!!! I'm so excited! We've got so many things to do and see!!

I've got much more to write and say but not enough time and a girl's gotta keep some secrets......

um, thank you Bexxie

2007-03-09T12:14:00.000-06:00

UPDATE!!!!!! I've been approved to read Bexxie's blog!! WOO HOO! Thanks again girlie, now I can keep up with my favorite Aussie!!

World's Shortest Fairytale

2007-03-09T12:12:00.000-06:00

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?"

The girl said "No" and she lived happily ever after and went shopping, drank martinis with friends, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had a closet full of shoes and handbags, stayed skinny, and was never farted on.

The End

Pure fucking fiction, it never happens like that.

um, hello Bexxie

2007-03-07T21:20:00.000-06:00

You need to add me to your preferred readers list woman! How will I ever know what's goin' on down under? Hellooooooooo.

All hell broke loose

2007-03-03T11:56:00.000-06:00

That is my feeling for the misery I am in today.

One of my biggest fears in life reared it's ugly head. I don't want to go into detail here but let me tell ya, I am still in shock and dismay over it!! It's so personal and private I'll never blog about it here so don't bother asking, but if I seem a bit different to you, this is why.

How well do you know me, really?

2007-03-01T16:15:00.000-06:00

Create your own Friend Quiz here

Tara stole it, I stole it, who knows who'll do it next.......

G'head I dare ya.

A to Z Meme (stolen from Bexxie)

2007-02-27T20:57:00.000-06:00

A- Available or Single? Um .. TAKEN!! I'll celebrate my 17th wedding anniversary in May
B- Best Friend? Terra, best, longest, oldest
C- Cake or Pie? Peanut butter pie please!!
D- Drink of Choice? Water or Bailey's & Cream
E- Essential Item? Cell phone, it's not that I use it much but I need it for the clock!!
F- Favorite Color? Greeeeeeen
G- Gummi Bears or Worms? ewwwwwww
H- Hometown? Miami, OK
I- Indulgence? Getting my nails done
J- January or February? February, it's shorter and seems to go by faster
K- Kids and names? One girl, Kaitlyn
L- Life is incomplete without…? My kid, she completes me
M- Marriage Date? May 12th, 1990
N- Number of Siblings? 3, half sisters, Kindel, Kelly and Kristi, all K's
O- Oranges or Apples? Either really, I like both
P- Phobias/Fears? Heights, clowns, birds.... yeah, I'm a wus
Q- Favorite Quote? I don't want to think right now......
R- Reasons to smile? Hearing my kid singing to her CD player (she refuses to get an MP3 player)
S- Season? WINTER!!!!!!! SNOW!!!!!!!!
T- Tag 3 people? Tag? ... can I punch instead? (I totally stole that from Bexxie!!)
U- Unknown Fact About Me? Hmmmm, let me get back to you on that one
V- Vegetable You Hate? Beets, are they a vegetable?
W-Worst Habit? Popping my knuckles or gas, not sure which is worse
X- Xrays You’ve Had? Back, shoulders, neck, teeth
Y- Your Favorite Foods? shrimp, scallops, Italian
Z- Zodiac? Taurus

Forever and a day

2007-02-21T12:40:00.000-06:00

That is how long it's been since I posted. Damn near two weeks. A long, long time.

Here's a run down of my boring life for the past two weeks.

The weekend before Valentine's Day, Miss Whineyhiney had a Girl Scout event in Pittsburg, KS. Bob decided to do our Valentine's celebration that weekend since she would be gone and we wouldn't have to worry about her or get a sitter. After we dropped her off at Friendship Fields (remind me to discuss this feeling later), we headed into town for dinner at Jim's Steakhouse. Jim's is an old school type steakhouse. Very expensive and very classic. We had to wait a bit before our table was ready so we retreated to the bar where we had a lot of things to raise our eyebrows at. The gay bartender (not that I have a problem with gays) was very entertaining to watch. I loved his mannerisms and just how he carried himself. Very different than what I'm used to. Amusing....... Entertaining........ The funny part though was when this old fart comes over and puts in his order and I couldn't tell you what he wanted but he specified everything from the type of vodka or gin to how many ice cubes and so forth. Then the barkeep proceeds to look up the recipe for this drink in his Boston's Guide to Bartending or whatever book he had on hand. I watched him (with great jealousy) as he skillfully and painstakingly prepared this delectable thirst quencher. The young barkeep had a brilliant gleam in his eye as he delivered his masterpieces to their table. Unfortunately though, just seconds after delivery, the old rat bastard fart who belted out the orders for his special drink bellied back up to the bar and demanded some other sort of glass for his cocktail. I guess the barkeep put them in a high ball glass when he should have put them in a martini glass. Whatever. I can drink wine out of a coffee cup just as well as I can out of a glass goblet.

After 2 beers for Bob and a Bailey's & Cream for me, we got our table. The menu was, as we'd heard, spendy (that's a Cruella word). Not Cruella spendy, but April spendy. Bob had another beer and we ordered a shrimp coctail. Yummmmmmm. Savory, giant, moist shrimp. Yummmmm. Bob ordered a steak that sounded bigger than my head and baked potato and I ordered an extra set up to share his steak. Our salads were not impressive, there was a beet on it rather than a tomato. A beet. I don't do beets. Our steak and potatoes came and Bob was excited, it smelled so good. I agreed that it looked and smelled good, but I just wasn't impressed. After the meal, the check came and I nearly fell over. We were charged for the sour cream for our baked potatoes, we were charged for the salad dressing on our beet accompanied salads, we were charged a beer tax on our beers. Fuck me. I'm surprised they didn't charge me to dry clean my napkin before and after I used it. Bob was pleased, said it was worth the dead president that it cost. I said, eh, whatever, let's just go. We headed towards home but detoured to one of the not-in-Miami casinos 'cause we never go there cause we always worry about leaving MWH at home. We lost...... I'll never learn.

The next day we went to have breakfast with my sister and her two amazing, adorable boys. I hadn't met my newest nephew Danny yet and I was sooooooo excited!! My sister is perfect, I couldn't ask for a better big sister, ever. My nephew Joey was a little hellion, he was tired and just didn't want to do anything. His pancake just sat there. I gave him his birthday and Christmas gifts and he seemed to warm up a little, but I could tell he was distracted and just didn't want to be there. Danny though, he was all soft and cuddley and cooing and the smell. Oh. My. God. The smell. I can't tell you how good he smelled. I could go on but this is going to be long so I'd better move on. The visit was short but good. I hope I can find the time and money to go to St. Louis this summer, just to do nothing but to get to talk with my sister and to get to know my nephews better (and my brother in law too). Time sucks though and the reality of it is that it won't happen, but God I hope I can figure it out. I deserve it, my sister deserves it and dammit, those boys deserve it.

After the quick breakfast reunion, we headed to Sears and back to Pittsburg to pick up MWH then to the famous sporting goods store so Bob could drool and home again, just in time for MWH to shower and pack for another sleepover away from home. She was going to spend Saturday night with some friends so Bob and I were going to have another childless night. We went to yet another out of town casino, lost our asses again and didn't do much the rest of the evening. MWH came home Sunday afternoon and no one really did much. Ah, the joys of Sunday.

The following week was par for the course, Bob worked over every night but Valentine's Day and MWH and I stayed at home and did chores. Boring. Yeah. Sad. Yep. Bob was off Valentine's Day evening so we did go out as a family and had a nice dinner. We went to the sucky El Mexicano restaraunt in town that always over charges. I hate that place, they should be shut down. Their food is good but the service sucks. I like the other El Mexicano place that is nice and doesn't over charge me until my eyes bleed.

This weekend was another lightning round in the Clark family whirlwind. Don't ask me what we did Friday, I couldn't tell ya. Oh, wait, now I remember!! I went to a Mary Kay party in Neosho with my mother! Before the party, we had dinner at a neat little chinese place that I know I'd never get to go to with Bob and we went to Cato's where I found some clearance pants that I can wear to work!! I actually have two pair of pants that fit me now!!! I even bought one extra pair a size smaller just cause they were so cheap. When we got to the party, we were the only peopole there at first. I figured we were a lock for the door prize but no, one more person showed and that one person freakin' won it. After the party, we went to Grove and gambled and lost our asses.

Saturday night we went to Buffalo Run's Coleman Restaraunt for a birthday dinner for one of my bosses. We had everyone there, the party was supposed to be for a mere 25 folks but it got so big we ended up adding to our table three times. There were a lot of people there. Some of the boss's friends are hilarious, I sat down at the opposite end between a few guys who drank a little too much and let me tell you my sides hurt from all the laughter!! We gambled and lost, drank and peed. Par for the course.

Sunday we got up bright and early and headed for Kansas City. Bob wanted to go to Cabela's and I had talked to one of the boss men and his wife and found some awesome places to go in KC. The boss man told me about The Plaza in old KC. It's like an outdoor mall, I had visions of Branson's Landing in my head, but I was totally wrong. It's bigger and grander and more everything. It's huge and not like a mall but more of an entire shopping and life experience. It was very neat how people were out walking dogs and socializing and just enjoying life. Very metropolitan, I loved it. We had lunch at O'Dowd's Little Dublin and oh. my. gawd. was it ever awesome!! We had the Wicksomething Wonton appetizer and they were fabulously creamy and perfect. Bob had the Bangers and Mash, MWH had Irish Stew and I had the Corned Beef Boxty. It was all amazing, simply fantastic!! I had a few bites of everything!! We walked a tiny portion of the plaza back to the Jeep and just had a great day.

I was off Monday. Off. Alone. No husband, no child. You'd think I'd relax and get to sleep in but you'd be wrong, way wrong. I stayed home and cleaned, ah, hell, who am I kidding, I went to the casino and LOST MY ASS yet again! Ok, now for those of you thinkin' I've got a problem, you're so wrong. LOL My version of losing my ass is losing the $10 or $15 I walked in with. I don't gamble big, I don't lose big, I don't win big. I just lose. Actually, I did do some cleaning, I dusted my entertainment center and my DVD shelves. I alphabetized all my DVD's and straightened up the whole mess I have had there for the past two months. And, if that weren't enough, I vacuumed the living room!! Yeah, I was tired, dawg tired.

Ok, so it's taken me two days to write this and I'm tired.

Happy Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T14:33:00.001-06:00

Another year has passed and I truly never know what to expect on Valentine's Day. Some years I figure I'll get roses or a nice dinner out, other years I figure I'll be served with divorce papers. This year is/was no different.

It was roses.

I got a half a dozen of stunningly beautiful pink roses.

I guess he really does love me after all, or at least half of him does. LOL

**********************

My friend Terra sent me this today and I got a good laugh out of it. It's kinda fitting for Valentine's Day (in an odd, bitter divorcee kinda way).

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got lucky.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of 4.

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

And always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over !!!

T.G.I.F.

2007-02-09T15:17:00.000-06:00

Friday. Ah, let me say it again. F.R.I.D.A.Y.

Yes.......... *sigh*

It's after 3:00, I'm still at work (don't get off until 4:00) but I just had a melt down. LOL I've been working entirely too hard today. Entirely. Part of my job is to enter new (and old) clients into our software (TimeMatters) and to make their new files. Some clients, both old and new, have more than one matter (or case) so they may have more than one file. Generally each client will only have one attorney and since our files are color coded for each attorney, it's a safe bet that all of each client's files will be the same color. Confused? Ok, so I'm sitting here today entering in a new (old) client. This isn't his first rodeo, he's got a lot of files. So, for privacy, let's call him Billy Joe Bob. I enter Billy Joe Bob's info into the contacts and the matters areas. I calender his court date and link everything appropriately. I am waiting to make labels for his file so I just hang on to it cause I do the labels in batches. On Fridays though, I pull all the files for the coming week and I see that Billy Joe Bob needs to be pulled, his file, not anything else. Being the dilligent worker I am I'm confident that I know exactly where his file is and I go on...... I then sit down to finish labels and what not and realize I've got a red Billy Joe Bob file when I should have an orange one. I think I've screwed up because Billy Joe Bob is red and he should be orange or should he? Hmmmmmm, I have no idea. Then I panic and find that there is another orange file for Sammy Joe Bob that is in fact orange and he is in fact the one I should have been pulling all along. Oy vey. I think we should limit ALL clients from now on, one name per client and one client per name. Now that we have a Billy Joe Bob we can NEVER have another client with the name Billy, Joe or Bob.

***********************
On a pleasant note, my (paternal half) sister's (maternal half) sister had her baby Tuesday. (If I say my sister's sister people look at me funny, I do like my sister's sister, she's a great girl, but I can't claim someone who isn't really mine, although, I'll take her if she'll have me cause she's wonderful!) Johnna delivered a beautiful, happy, healthy baby girl. Welcome to the world MADELYN MARIE!!!!!!!!! Little miss cutie pie weighed in at 7 pounds and 4 ounces and was 20.5 inches long. I can't wait to see her!!!!!!!!!

*************************
On that note, the First Bitch just talked to the boss and he is telling us to get the hell out of the office, it's Friday!! Sooooooooooooo I'M OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!!!

Who said romance is dead?

2007-02-07T10:49:00.000-06:00

ROME (Reuters) - Call it the eternal embrace.

Archaeologists in Italy have discovered a couple buried 5,000 to 6,000 years ago, hugging each other.

"It's an extraordinary case," said Elena Menotti, who led the team on their dig near the northern city of Mantova.

"There has not been a double burial found in the Neolithic period, much less two people hugging -- and they really are hugging."

Menotti said she believed the two, almost certainly a man and a woman although that needs to be confirmed, died young because their teeth were mostly intact and not worn down.

"I must say that when we discovered it, we all became very excited. I've been doing this job for 25 years. I've done digs at Pompeii, all the famous sites," she told Reuters.

"But I've never been so moved because this is the discovery of something special."
A laboratory will now try to determine the couple's age at the time of death and how long they had been buried.

************

On the Today Show this morning, they said that they are speculating that the man was killed and the woman was sacrificed. Excuse me, hellooooooooo, I can come up with a much better story!!

I think that their village was attacked by bandits or pirates or whatever and these people were left for dead. In reality though, neither were dead. One of them (I'm guessing the man, I think the report I heard this morning said that woman had a head wound where he had had a chest wound) crawled to the other to comfort them and be with them to the bitter end. This truly sweet, sad but none the less sweet. Now, 6,000 years later, we can see true love. Or stupidity, whatever, it's a tough call.

WTF? @#(*&$)+#@

2007-02-06T12:19:00.000-06:00

Why are some people just fuckers? Why do people say things one day and do the complete opposite the next? Fuck you, I'm sick of it. They ask for a favor or ask for forgiveness or tell you something in confidence and the next day they fuck you over, push you out of their lives, or just flat out spread lies around about you. Lies. I know there are two sides to every story, but come on, why lie so vehemently? If you're going to lie about me, make it something believeable, come on!! Sheesh!!

I love how people come to me to tell me their secrets then lie about me later. HELLOOOOOOOO! Idiots!!!!!!

I'm tired of the petty people out there, the ones who can't make up their mind who they are let alone who you should be to them. I guess I'm just a secret keeper.

Why do people have to be so mean though? What ever happened to courtesy and consideration?
***********

Ok, so now that I've bitched, onward and upward.

Last week was hell. Absolute fucking hell.

Tuesday, MWH calls me from school, she wants me to bring her something for her cold. I ask the school secretary to check her temp and sure enough, fever. I go get her, take her home and she's sick.

Wednesday, she's still sick. My poor beautiful red-eyed, crazy haired, sore throated baby. She's dying because she's missing school and friends and all of that good stuff. The snow comes it's beautiful out but she's miserable 'cause she's stuck inside. Bob and I go to Hell-Mart for meds and stuff and on the way home we get rear ended (and not in a good way) by some teenager from Commerce who's taking his girl friend home to E Street Plaza (low income housing). Luckily, he had insurance. I call the police dept for a police officer to write a report and the lady tries to talk me out of it, the dispatcher, not the E Street Plaza princess. I nearly fell over! Then the cop comes and he tries to talk me out of a report! UGH! HELLOOOOOOOO, do your fucking job! We go back to the police dept to write up the report and it takes freakin' forever. My neck, shoulders and head are starting to hurt...... Not good.

Thursday I take MWH to the AM Clinic where Dr. J. Twin tests her for influenza and sure enough she's pink. Pink means influenza. Lovely, my beautiful, red eyed, achey child is now an Ottawa County statistic. Caring Dr. J Twin tells me to stay home too even though I've had the flu shot, uh, no. LOL I laugh in the face of evil, I work for LAWYERS, man, nothing is keeping ME from work. LOL So I take MWH home, she's fine, pick up Tamiflu for her and Bob (no clue on his state of health, lol) and go back to work. I was feelin' a little achey but I thought it was the flu too but after I got to work and realized all that hurt was my head, neck and shoulders, it hit me that it was the wreck that was causing my pain, not the flu. My regular doc couldn't get me in so I went to the ER after work and had a slew of x-rays and tests done. Fun.

Friday Bob took the Jeep to get the estimate done and there is $1,000.00 worth of damage. DAMN! I love my Jeeeeeeeep, they are soooooooooo fixing it!!

Saturday and Sunday were a blur, I didn't get out of bed until 4:00pm Sunday I was so sore and achey. I still didn't know if it was the flu, a cold or the wreck. My sister and nephews (I'm so excited to see everyone) were supposed to be here this weekend, I haven't heard if they're here or not yet though.

Monday was back to school for MWH. She was soooooooo glad to get back too! For me, it was wild at work, non stop all day. I hurt like hell, I realized it was the wreck. My nose ran all day and I think I did have a little bit of a cold, sore throat, etc, but my pain was all around my neck and shoulders.

Today has been wild again, not as bad as yesterday, but wild none the less. I'm still tired, still achey and still sniffling snot. I'm leery of calling my sister to see if she's made it down from St. Louis, I don't want the kids to get this but damn it I wanna see them!!!!!! I also wanna know if Johnna has had her new baby yet (that's why my sis is here). I'm still tickled shitless that there is still some snow on the ground and they're calling for more this week, maybe.........

Big Cedar

2007-01-29T12:38:00.000-06:00

Thursday, we set off for a weekend of fun, relaxation and bliss. In November, I had purchased one of those $59 "Branson Getaway" packages from Bass Pro where you get 3 days and 2 nights plus $50 in show tickets and a $25 gift card for Bass Pro. Basically you get $75 worth of freebies in addition to the 2 nights in a nice hotel, all they ask in return is for 90 minutes of your time to try to sell you a piece of the time share pie.

Normally they put you up in the Radisson. We stayed there the last time we did it and didn't care for it so we were supposed to stay in the Clarion, but then at the last minute Bluegreen called and said they were putting us up at Big Cedar in the Valley View Lodge. Ok, that seems nice, a little ouf of the way, but nice. All we wanted was an indoor pool and a hot tub and they had that so we were good.

We left for Branson by 5:45, we hit nasty traffic on I-44 in Joplin twice, it took us over an hour to get to the Rangeline exit, which normally takes right at 25 minutes or less. By the time we got to Branson it was after 8:00 and we were beat........ We checked in and crashed. Or tried to. The idiots in the room next to us had their tv blaring all night long, we could hear it over our heat/AC unit running less than 4 feet from our heads. It was loud. Around 1:00am we called down to the front desk and complained, it took them well over an hour to turn it down, no rest for us though, Bob and I were exhausted all day Friday. We did our tour of Big Cedar bright and early Friday morning and I asked them up front, is there a resort in Wyoming, near Cody, 'cause that's where we like to go. They said yes, Cody is very popular!! At the end of our presentation they show us the book and there is nothing in or near Cody, I was interested in joining (a cheap package) but ONLY if there was something in or near Cody. We were pissed 'cause there was nothing. There was a resort up in Montana, but sometimes we don't GO all the way to Montana, that's another few hundred miles........ So, we wasted our time for nothing. Oh well, the hot tub was more than worth it.

We went to Branson Landing for some shopping and lunch at Joe's Crab Shack, yeah, I got crabs....... LOL I love that place! We walked the Landing and shopped like crazy people. MWH found some super fabulous deals at Aeropostale and Claire's while I ooh'd and aah'd at the cute crap at Build-A-Bear Workshop. Yeah, I'm 34 and I still go into Build-A-Bear just 'cause I LIKE IT. I swear when I have grand kids they'll be gettin' a room in total BABW gear! LOL Luckily my friend's daughter was having a birthday party this weekend and I got her a little something from BABW since I was there. They had the most adorable little valentine's there too..... sheesh, I'm too addicted.

Friday evening we went to Lone Star for the best freakin' steak EVER. Both MWH and I had garlic mashed potatoes and Kaitlyn's chopped steak had the most amazing mushrooms!!!!!! I swear, we were all ready to pop after that meal, it was sooooooooooo good!!

We got back to the room and changed into our suit and spent time in the hot tub which was outdoors and it was so neat to be under the stars in the peace and quiet sitting in that relaxing water...... Bob and I both agree we gotta get us one of those. LOL That's an amazing feat, we never agree on anything, but that we did agree on! LOL

We were all tired and ready for bed so you'd think we'd have slept well but again the neighbors with the noise decided to keep us up. UGH! How annoying. We got up early Saturday morning, packed, loaded our gear and ate a great breakfast at Big Cedar and headed over to the pool for one more swim for Miss Whineyhiney. You gotta love that kid.

After that we headed back to Branson for one last drive down 76 and to hit any little shops we missed.

We really didn't do much but it was so nice to get away........ I hope to do it again soon!

Unplugged

2007-01-25T08:38:00.000-06:00

Sometimes when I channel surf I see MTV's Unplugged on the grid and while I've never watched it, I snicker at the title. Just what are those freaks at MTV unplugging? I mean come on, these people brought us Jackass and that real world reality show, what's it called, lemme think, The Real World? Creative geniuses I tell ya, geniuses!! God only knows what they're unplugging or where they find these loosers who have no real world experience to speak of. I'm guessing there is something about these MTV shows that require a release form, a back-up supply of blood and some hair for a DNA sample. Nothing good can come from that, nothing good.

Anyway, today, I am officially unplugged.

Stop reading here if you don't want to know more 'cause lemme tell ya, you don't wanna know more.

Last week I was slightly bitchy, this week I've been way bitchy. It's all because I was full of shit, hence plugged. After some wonderful colace pills, a gallon or two of water, some extreme piratey vulgar language and many, salty tears, I'm no longer plugged. I'm unplugged.

So far, MTV seems to be uninterested in my unplugged story. I have no little dwarf or midget coming at me from the shadows to break my femur or bite my ankle, no one named Stevo appearing in a Tarzan thong to hang some sort of endangered lizard off my ear lobes to test me for pain tolerance and I doubt any bands will want to set up camp on my door step to play their latest and greatest rock song. I guess I'll just have to bear life being an unknown. Oh well, it can't be too hard now that I'm unplugged.

Sheer genius, my kid...

2007-01-19T20:53:00.000-06:00

School has been out all week and Miss Whineyhiney has decided that she is going to learn how to knit. Yeah, she'll be teaching herself using instructions from a book she got from the local public library and from this site I found on the internet.

I've got a talented kid, I really think she can figure it out.

Over the years, I have tried to learn to crochet several times but I just can't get it. I'd love to crochet soft, little baby blankets or warm, fuzzy lap afgans for my friends and family, but that will never happen. I just can't get it.

MWH has been sitting her for an hour and, by George, I just know she's gonna figure it out!!

B.I.T.C.H.

2007-01-18T16:19:00.000-06:00

Don't bug me today. Don't look at me. Don't talk to me. Dont even breathe near me. I just don't want to be left alone. All alone. Completely, utterly, absolutely alone. I'm in a very bitchy mood today.

I'm sore from yesterday's fall on the ice, my left forearm and neck are bruised. My head still hurts and I didn't sleep well at all.

I didn't make it to work early like I'd wanted to this morning (on time, as always, but not early) and that just chaps my ass. I had a big project to do for one of the attorneys and wanted to get it done first thing before anyone else got here simply because it would distract me from my desk and I didn't want to put anyone else out while I was "working". LOL But since I didn't get in early I didn't get it done before everyone got here and, well, it just set me back in my bitchy mood more.

My big project got finished first thing and it turned out beautifully, thank you very much. The attorney was pleased, the judge was impressed and I felt good to get to do it. You'd think that would be enough to make me less bitchy but it didn't.

Maybe tomorrow will be better......... I highly doubt it. LOL

Good News or Bad News???? You make the call

2007-01-17T16:03:00.000-06:00

It's now Wednesday and we've had wicked winter weather since Friday. Ice. Thick. Cold. Hard. Solid. Ice. The weather started coming Friday, we closed the office early. The ice and snow caused school to be closed Monday, Tuesday and again Wednesday. Monday was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and we had made appointments so we planned on working but due to the 4 to 6 inches of ice we didn't.

Monday evening into Tuesday morning there was an overnight low of 4 degrees. That's cold people. Nipple hardening cold. Make me gotta peeeeeeeeeee cold. It hasn't been above freezing for, well, I just don't remember anymore.

I just found out that school has officially been cancelled for the remainder of the week.

And, if that weren't enough news, they're calling for 12 inches of snow Sunday. It's been snowing here this afternoon, big, white, fluffy, magical, sleepy, drifty, beautiful flakes.

I'm not entirely sure if I'm happy with the weather right now. Miss Whineyhiney is driving me insane. This is why I only had one child. If I had more than one I'd probably be locked up in a looney bin by now because of the incessant chants of "Mom, I'm bored....." or "Mom, what time are we leaving" or, oh, hell, just plain old "Mom...". God help us all. LOL

I'd also be poor(er). Do you realize how much a day of daycare is? It's fucking incredible!!!!!!! And, a lot of daycare centers charge you even if you don't bring your kid!! Some close when the schools close so you have no choice but to miss work and stay home with your kids and even if they're closed they expect to be paid anyway! It's a racket I tell ya, a racket! LOL

Believe it or not I did a good thing today. A co-worker lives in Grove and is out of power at her house. She's been living at a Red Cross shelter for a few days and when she heard we had a generator she wanted to borrow it. Well I was going home with her and her hubby to get it and I slid on the ice and knocked myself nearly unconscious. My entire left side is sore, my head and neck are hurting and my pride is seriously bruised. There were three people who were right there when it happened and everyone saw it plain as day. Sooooooooo embarassing! I swear I blacked out for a sec..... I'm still sore but ok and even if I weren't it's not like I'd do anything about it! LOL

So, if you see me in the next few days and I have a wild look in my eyes or I'm bawling like a baby, think nothing of it, just know that things will settle down as soon as the ice is melted away and my kid is back in school....... I hope.

Interpretation

2007-01-15T20:59:00.000-06:00

Due to the 4 to 6 inches of ice blanketing my lovely little Mayberry town, I'm home from work again today. Bob is not happy. Bob had to work today.

I, on the other hand, stayed home, watched movies that I pvr'd on DISH and did laundry and dishes. I did laundry all weekend and then did more today. I did mountains of laundry. So much laundry it made me wonder where the hell we got all the clothes from. Lemme tell ya, my kid is so spoiled, she has way too many clothes.

Luckily I go back to work tomorrow, luckily...... Too bad our computers are still down. UGH!

On a good note, my sister sent me a lovely package Friday. It's so nice to come home to mail during the noon hour!! Especially when you have gifts, that rawks!!!!! She got me the sweetest pewter Sister bracelet and a pair of sterling silver hoop earrings. She also sent MWH her Christmas gift too. I, on the other hand, suck. I haven't mailed out Christmas pictures or sent their gifts. My nephews are younger than MWH and Christmas is for the kids, why do I procrastinate so? I haven't even mailed out Joey's birthday gifts and I bought them in AUGUST!!!!!!! I don't know what's wrong with me......

Ok, so to the title: Interpretation. I've been thinking (ok, nothing good can come from that) and it amazes me how different people interpret the same thing so radically different. I can't give specific details here, I don't want to offend anyone and the guts of my epiphany is from a conversation with fellow blogger, but it just freakin' amazes me.

Please, the next time though you think that something sucks, step back and look at it from someone else's perspective. Think about it from the other side. What if you didn't have your memories, your history, but theirs instead.

I pity some people, feel so sorry for them because of what they do to themselves and to their kids. Granted, I'm no saint, but I don't feed my family chewing gum for dinner either. LOL

I know there is more that I need to do and say but I've got to pee, too much tea today. The dinner dishes are crying out for attention and Bob is ready for bed.

Ice, ice, baby, come on!!

2007-01-12T19:32:00.000-06:00

Lemme tell ya, the weather has hit us again today! We've got at least 2 or 3 inches of ice this evening already. It's not supposed to let up until Sunday! There are all kinds of cancellations on the news crawls already too. The mall in Joplin closed at noon today, the mall! Imagine that!!!

Our office closed early today too. The First Bitch left around 11:00 am, she lives in Grove so I can't blame her. Another lady left for lunch and didn't come back, her ride didn't have to go back to work because of weather so she stayed home, I can't blame her either. LOL Then, after my lunch, we found out the Courthouse was closing early so one of the Wise Men closed our office too so me and the "girl in the middle" headed out too. WOO HOO! I love my job, really I do.

Actually, our computers have been down since noon Thursday so the actual "work" being done at work is limited. I heard an electrical type sizzle walking by one of the offices and just knew we were in trouble. Sadly I was right. The repair man came and checked out our server and thought it was the router, but that wasn't it so now he's thinking it's electrical or something. He's supposed to come fix it Sunday but I'm not holding my breath. Really though, with the weather and the computer situation, we had no reason to be there. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

*****************************

Thursday I went home for lunch and as I was leaving my Jeep wouldn't start. It would turn over, but wouldn't idle. Now I'm not a mechanic, but if I can't put it in gear, that's bad. I had to call the First Bitch for a ride back to work. I spent the majority of my afternoon moping around, fretting that it would cost me a kidney or other vital organ to get it back on the road. With my luck lately it wouldn't surprise me! I tried to call Bob at break to warn him but I didn't get him, luckily he didn't have to work over so he could work on it after work and sure enough he did fix it! We could smell gas and there was a puddle of fluid underneath...... I was stressing. A fuel filter is about $150.00 and I was really not in the mood to spend that kind of money. Luckily, he realized the PCV valve was messed up and that was it! He called one of the parts houses and they actually had one in stock! Bob fixed my Jeep for $5.00!!!!!!! I'm so lucky to be married to a guy who has the skills and abilities to fix stuff like that! WOO HOO!!!!!!

Stupid me though, I get to work and everyone asks me what was wrong with my Jeep. I suck at repeating names and all and then my mind is faster than my mouth and I called the PCV valve a PVC pipe and then a PCP pipe! Yep, Bob replaced the PCP pipe in my Jeep for a mere $5.00! LOL

Empowered

2007-01-11T08:39:00.000-06:00

Yes, I feel empowered. Yes, it feels good, damn good.

I've had one of those self inking XStamper date stamps here since I started, and it's needed inking... Sadly though, inking has never been one of my strong suits. For years I have been plagued with the mystifying inability to re-ink. I break out in a sweat just thinking of the messy task. I fear ink. I'm just not good at stuff like that. I mean, I even have found it challenging to put the dishwasher gel in the dishwasher tray at times. Ok, granted, I may have been drunk and maybe it wasn't dishwasher gel, but I thought it was and that's all that matters.

I often fantasize about my inker being involved in some sort of fatal accident where we'd have to buy a new one rather than just re-ink it. I'm on the 6th floor of a building, you'd think that it might fall out of a window or something, luckily (for the XStamper) our windows don't open up here....

But I digress. I'm sure you're asking yourself how long I can milk this. Did I manage to fill it full of ink without covering myself, the desk, the office and all of downtown Miami in ink????

I have a dear friend who changes all of her ink using machinery wearing gloves, an apron and a baseball cap. I have to admit, the thought of that makes me giggle like a school girl, but damn, deep down I know she's smart and I envy her ability. Mrs. Coach got skills!!!!!!

So, I've been here at this job for over 6 months, 6 months of needing to be re-inked. I break down and tell the First Bitch to order me some ink, I am out. So she does and I'll be damned if Quill doesn't get it here the very. next. fucking. day.

Free overnight shipping is a re-inkers night mare!!!!!!!!

The ink is here. It sits on my desk for weeks because I'm chicken. I'm so scared that I'll make a mess and still be ink less.

Then I have a brain fart and decide to make it my New Years resolution to master re-inking. I mean, come on, it's plastic, I'm 34. I graduated high school. I have 29 hours of junior college. Hell, I was even on the Dean's Honor Roll. It can be done. Trained monkeys could do it. Dammit, I could do it!!

So I look at the unit and it has screws but no place to insert the ink tube things..... I'm deflated. How can I ever do this? I go online to research how to reink it and viola!, like magic, I find the .pdf instructions and print it out but after reading all the fine print I realize that it doesn't discuss MY stamper!

Again with the deflation...... To make a long story short (ok, sorry, too late), I sat here this morning and read. the. fucking. ink. refill. package. and it oddly enough it worked just fine.

I got no ink on meeeeeeeeeeee, no ink on me desk, no ink on my clothes, not even a drop on my fingers!!!! I'm sooooooo excited.

I have met my first New Year's resolution and I lived to tell the world about it.

T.I.R.E.D.

2007-01-08T18:48:00.000-06:00

I am flat out exhausted. Last night I just couldn't go to sleep. I tossed and turned all night. I don't know why, it was just one of those nights, but I knew that something bad was going to happen. Something wicked this way comes, I just knew it!! No matter I guess, it was Monday and I had to put on my big girl panties and face the day. I got up and got dressed and started my day with plenty of room to spare. At 6:40ish though, my cell phone rang. Nothing good can come from a cell phone call before 7:00 am. Nothing. Never. Period.

It was a co-worker telling me she and her kid were sick. She and her kid were staying home in bed. Her and her kid were not coming in to work today.

Okay...... It's not a normal day for her kid to come to the office, but I just had one of those gut feelings that something would be off today, something amiss and by crikey I think this did it! LOL

Since I was dressed and good to go, I took MWH to school early and got to the office early to open files and get ahead before all hell broke loose. It was a good plan, but damn, it didn't work. I was three steps behind all day. By noon I was exhausted and broken. My stride and spirit were so broken and beat.

I don't think it was just me either, the First Bitch was a little off kilter today too. I'm guessing it was just a normal Monday really, but damn, some Mondays just kick your ass!!

Thank GOD there is only 1 Monday in each week! I don't think I could handle two in the same week!

Loser, times two

2007-01-07T15:24:00.000-06:00

Busy, that has been my weekend. Hell, that's been my whole year so far. I had Monday and Tuesday off for New Year's Day and for President Ford's funeral so Wednesday was my first day back to ~~reality~~ work.

The week went by fast, lightning fast. Bob went back to work Tuesday and had to work over so he was beat. He had about 2 weeks off so it was difficult for him to say the least. Poor thing was so tired...... Bless his heart....... Poor thing had to work over again Wednesday and Thursday too.

Friday night I took MWH to the Coleman to see MHS's perfomance of Footloose. The play was really good, but the guy who played Ren just didn't own it. He was good, I mean it was only a small town, high school play, but he was not believable as Ren. He seemed stiff and uncomfortable, akward and too soft. Now, Willard, that is a whole other story. He was awesome. He freakin' rocked. Rusty and Urleen were amazing too. I dont know most of the kids in high school, I know who some of them are, but not really. The one girl I do know, who I went to see, did GREAT as a shadow dancer. She's so talented.....

Saturday morning I was supposed to go take an ATV safety course but the class was cancelled due to a death in the instructor's family. Lovely, I even read the manual for it. LOL See what happens when I prepare? LOL

Saturday afternoon we just sat around and vegged. We watched movies and snuggled on the couch. Funnnnn. I watched A Lot Like Love and I really like that movie. I watched a few other shows I had PVR'd in the past week and it was so nice to sit here and do nothing. We also went to the local furniture store that is supposedly going out of business but they are still too high if you ask me. They're not even knocking much off the prices yet. If you do buy anything it's still 4 to 6 weeks before your stuff will be in, they're not selling the floor merchandise yet.... That's not a sale if you ask me.

Saturday night Bob and I went out to High Winds Casino to see if we could win a Mustang. The revvvvvv up the engine kind, not the hop on into the saddle kind. The casino was packed, I mean fucking packed. I can honestly say that if the fire marshall had come out there he would have shut the place down. It took me 30 minutes to get on a machine. It was insane. They did do the drawing and I didn't win, some woman named Derwin did. Derwin, that was her first name too, weird.

Sunday afternoon was a second car drawing. The big Miami Spend to Win extravaganza.... Whatever. Last year they gave away a recliner and other good prizes, this year the nicest thing was a 20 inch tv. Wen (MWH and I) had over 400 tickets (thanks in part to Mrs. Coach) and we only got close once. We were 1 number off. Sucked. LOL The car winner was Shelly Martin, her daughter goes to school with MWH and I'm so happy for her!!!!!!!

Well, I desperately need to bathe. I need a long, hot, steamy bath. The cold wind has chilled me to me ol' bones.

Four days off

2007-01-02T10:15:00.000-06:00

These four and five day weekends are starting to grow on me. Especially when I get to lay in bed all day watching movies on Lifetime and Lifetime Movie Network. LOL

We really haven't done much this New Year's Eve weekend. Bob got another window put in Friday. I did nothing to help him, I was at work so there wasn't much I could do from 7 blocks away and 6 stories up. I can't think of a single thing we did Saturday. I think it rained all day and we just spent the day being lazy, lazy, lazy. LOL On Sunday, my mom came over to spend the evening with Miss Whineyhiney while Bob and I went out for New Year's Eve.

That's a story, New Year's Eve. A co-worker/friend of mine invited us to a somewhat private party in Grove at a club/bar. Now, keep in mind that this club/bar is literally half a block from where our house was when we lived in Grove and we lived there for 6 years and never went there. We're not into the "party" scene. Having said that though, I wanted to party for the new year so I convinced Bob to take me out, OUT, OUT!!!!!!!!!! We got there around 7:30ish and paid our cover charge. Cover charge, that's a new one for me. LOL We never go places that charge you just to walk in. LOL As luck would have it, our friends are already there so we're off to a great start. Bob orders a Jack & Coke and I just sit and relax. Bob and the boys are shooting pool and telling lies to each other while us girls are giggling and talking about boobs and penis sizes. Life is gooooooooood. There really are some nice people out there, I'm so lucky to have such good friends! I ordered a Bailey's & Cream and the party (for me) started! Yumm, I love Bailey's!! We moved from the karaoke room back to the ballroom and the band started in and so did the dancing!! Not that Bob and I will ever dance, but others did and it was fun to watch. We were there for about 2 hours, just getting to where Bob had a slight buzz, and some fucker came over to us and told Bob he couldn't wear his ball cap in the ballroom. Lovely. Cowboy hats were ok, but not ball caps. Well, fuck. That did it. Bob doesn't wear a cowboy hat and if he did, it's 45 minutes away in MIAMI!!!!!!! So, he takes off his hat and the hurt feelings fly. I could tell just by looking at him he was embarrassed and kind of pissed off. They took our money at the door and he had on the same hat, why didn't anyone say anything then? He'd have taken it off and put it in the Jeep, no, they had to wait until he was having fun and then ruin our evening. Wonderful. I could tell Bob was hurt so I told him if he wanted to leave it was fine, he tried and that was all I needed. About 20 minutes after we left, my friend called me to apologize for the fucker's behavior, which was completely unnecessary, and to let me know that she got our cover charge back. That was so nice, so sweet. I have such good friends.

After that, we left decided to hit a casino a little closer to home. We went to High Winds and decided to try our luck at the machines. With a measley $40 in our pockets, we were destined to come home broke and beaten. In actuality though, $40 was enough for us, we even had drinks, hard drinks, not just beer! I played a Bootlegger machine on $5 for well over an hour. Bob was drinking and watching me play and the guy next to me just couldn't lose his last buck so at 72 cents he got up and asked Bob if he wanted to play it out. Bob sat down and played that 72 cents for a good half hour, maybe longer! We really had a good time. Finally, both out machines crapped out on us and we headed over to the tumbler machines (like Money Bags, Crazy Bill, Red Hot Ruby and Crazy Cherry) 'cause it was nearly midnight and I knew that once it was midnight we'd be outta there like lightning. As midnight approached and we donned our festive hats, I turned my measley $5 into $70 and felt that I was doing good. Midnight came and balloons fell upon us, we blew our little paper horns and drank our horse-piss champagne, Bob even leaned over to kiss me happy new year. Yeah, life is good.

Rest in peace, Mr. President

2006-12-29T19:26:00.000-06:00

Tuesday is a National Day of Mourning in honor of our thirty-eighth United States President, Gerald R. Ford. President Ford is the first President I remember being on TV when I was a kid. Nixon was in office when I was born, but I remember Ford's Presidential Addresses cutting into my cherished TV time occasionally, that's how I remember him. LOL Black and white, fuzzy and with a slight ghost to his righ. LOL

We found out late today that our office is closing for the day Tueseday in honor of this American icon so here is my little tribute to the man of the hour.

Here are some interesting facts about President Ford:
He was born Leslie Lynch King, Jr., after his biological father and later renamed after his adoptive father, Gerald Rudolph Ford, Sr.
Except in formal signature, he signed his name Jerry Ford.
Gerald Ford had two attempts on his life in California during the month of September, 1975. Both attempts were by women.
Ford was once a male model.
He became Vice President and President without being elected to either office.
Ford had another swimming pool dug after he became president because Richard Nixon had had it filled in.
Ford was on the University of Michigan football team from 1931 to 1934. He was offered tryouts by both the Green Bay Packers and the Chicago Bears.
In 1977 he had a hole-in-one at the Memphis Classic.
He was right-handed, but he wrote with his left hand.
Ford was the only president to serve without being chosen in the national election.
When Ford proposed to to his wife, he was wearing one brown & one black shoe.
Ford was the first President to have been an Eagle Scout.
Ford's daughter Susan held her senior prom at the White House.
Ford was the head boxing coach and assistant football coach at Yale University.
Ford was one of the members of the Warren Commission appointed to study the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

When Gerald R. Ford took the oath of office on August 9, 1974, he declared, "I assume the Presidency under extraordinary circumstances.... This is an hour of history that troubles our minds and hurts our hearts."

It was indeed an unprecedented time. He had been the first Vice President chosen under the terms of the Twenty-fifth Amendment and, in the aftermath of the Watergate scandal, was succeeding the first President ever to resign.

Ford was confronted with almost insuperable tasks. There were the challenges of mastering inflation, reviving a depressed economy, solving chronic energy shortages, and trying to ensure world peace.

The President acted to curb the trend toward Government intervention and spending as a means of solving the problems of American society and the economy. In the long run, he believed, this shift would bring a better life for all Americans.

Ford's reputation for integrity and openness had made him popular during his 25 years in Congress. From 1965 to 1973, he was House Minority Leader. Born in Omaha, Nebraska, in 1913, he grew up in Grand Rapids, Michigan. He starred on the University of Michigan football team, then went to Yale, where he served as assistant coach while earning his law degree. During World War II he attained the rank of lieutenant commander in the Navy. After the war he returned to Grand Rapids, where he began the practice of law, and entered Republican politics. A few weeks before his election to Congress in 1948, he married Elizabeth Bloomer. They have four children: Michael, John, Steven, and Susan.

As President, Ford tried to calm earlier controversies by granting former President Nixon a full pardon. His nominee for Vice President, former Governor Nelson Rockefeller of New York, was the second person to fill that office by appointment. Gradually, Ford selected a cabinet of his own.

Ford established his policies during his first year in office, despite opposition from a heavily Democratic Congress. His first goal was to curb inflation. Then, when recession became the Nation's most serious domestic problem, he shifted to measures aimed at stimulating the economy. But, still fearing inflation, Ford vetoed a number of non-military appropriations bills that would have further increased the already heavy budgetary deficit. During his first 14 months as President he vetoed 39 measures. His vetoes were usually sustained.

Ford continued as he had in his Congressional days to view himself as "a moderate in domestic affairs, a conservative in fiscal affairs, and a dyed-in-the-wool internationalist in foreign affairs." A major goal was to help business operate more freely by reducing taxes upon it and easing the controls exercised by regulatory agencies. "We...declared our independence 200 years ago, and we are not about to lose it now to paper shufflers and computers," he said.

In foreign affairs Ford acted vigorously to maintain U. S. power and prestige after the collapse of Cambodia and South Viet Nam. Preventing a new war in the Middle East remained a major objective; by providing aid to both Israel and Egypt, the Ford Administration helped persuade the two countries to accept an interim truce agreement. Detente with the Soviet Union continued. President Ford and Soviet leader Leonid I. Brezhnev set new limitations upon nuclear weapons.

President Ford won the Republican nomination for the Presidency in 1976, but lost the election to his Democratic opponent, former Governor Jimmy Carter of Georgia.

On Inauguration Day, President Carter began his speech: "For myself and for our Nation, I want to thank my predecessor for all he has done to heal our land." A grateful people concurred.

The party is over......

2006-12-28T14:34:00.000-06:00

It's Wednesday, oh, wait, Thursday, and I'm just whooooooooooooped. Tuesday I crapped out and didn't get my final pajamarama picture taken even though I had on 3 separate pairs of pajamas! Really! I slept in one pair, got up and went to Wal-Mart for some clearance crap, came home, showered, put on a fresh pair, went to Joplin for more clearance crap, came home, ate dinner (I think) and then changed into another pair of the warm fuzzy little pants.

I didn't really get much along the lines of Christmas clearance, but Bob found a shit load of duck decoys and stuff. That's good, I guess, whatever makes him happy.

*****************************
Yesterday was sheer hell for my poor, goofy mother. She has spent all year making it to work on time, never missing a single day, never leaving early...... But yesterday, on her way to work she was pulled over for speeding, going 77 in a 60, she was passing some blue haired gummer who didn't have to be at work. Needless to say she got busted and has a $137 ticket to pay. The officer who pulled her over took his sweeeeeeet time and she was 2 minutes late for work, now she'll lose her perfect attendance bonus and all the goodies that come with it. She also lost her driver's license, not lost as in confiscated for speeding, but lost as in he gave it back but now she can't find it. Well after three frantic phone calls from me trying to calm her down she calls me back saying she did find it, she wasn't going to have to take off work again to get a replacement driver's license. Super! There is hope yet!

*****************************
Today I got an email from my eldest half sister. We didn't hook up at Christmas and now we both feel guilty. She has other siblings who live near me so she comes down a lot. I think I've gone to St. Louis three times in the past dozen or so years and it's just not right of me to put all the driving onto her. She's had a pretty rough year this year and she really needs a lot of support. She lost her mom and that has been traumatic for her. She also spent the majority of the year pregnant and that is just difficult no matter what but she was high risk because of her age and other concerns. Luckily, all is good now though. When she did have her second child, a son, he had some health concerns but I think all is good now. One thing you can deal with, but when you start adding up one thing on top of another it's overwhelming and I should have been more supportive. I'm a sucky sister........

*******************************
Before I go, here's a blonde joke.

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

A - Z of Meeeeeeeee (Thanks Bexxie!)

2006-12-27T11:52:00.000-06:00

A - AVAILABLE: Nope, been married for over 16 years
B - BIRTHDAY: April 25th
C - CRUSH: Nope
D - DAD'S NAME: Duh, Dad
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: My kid, she rawks
F - FAVORITE BAND: Aerosmith, until the end of time.....
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Ewwww, chocolate
H - HOMETOWN: I consider Miami my hometown, even though it's not :o(
I - INSTRUMENT: I played the clarinet when I was in 3rd grade, I sucked
J - JUGGLE: just life, not things
K - KILLED SOMEONE: I'm soooooo not answering that
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Farmington, NH to Miami, OK
M - MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Hot Fudge !!
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 3, Kindel, Kelly & Kristi, all older half sisters
O - ONE WISH: To be rich!!!!!!
P - PERSON WHO EMAILED ME LAST: RetroKim asking if I wanted to take a class with her
Q- QUICK FACT: I have a spider bite on my right arm
R - REASON TO SMILE: My kid
S - SONG YOU LAST LISTENED TO: Hinder, Lips of an Angel
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 6:00am
U - UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME: I love to do crafts but I have absolutely no talent
V - VEGETABLE YOU HATE: Beets, they make your pee pink
W - WORST HABIT: Popping my knuckles, rolling through stop signs, need I go on?
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Tummy (gallbladder), teeth, knee.......
Y - YOUR NUMBER OF EMAIL CONTACTS: crap, a lot!!
Z- ZODIAC SIGN: Taurus

Pictures, pictures, PICTURES!!!!!!

2006-12-26T10:40:00.001-06:00

As promised, here are the pics!!

CHRISTMAS DAY!! Monday, Pajama Day: Day 4

2006-12-25T10:36:00.001-06:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

Every year we say we're going to wait until Christmas morning to open our presents, but then every Christmas Eve I can't wait. So last night I decided the kid in me just couldn't wait and we opened the presents early again! Sheesh, I'm such a pushover. LOL

MWH played Santa and I swear she lost 2 pounds carrying all the gifts back and forth to each of us!

She got to open first (as usual, damned kid). When Bob said something about opening, I said yeah, let her, you know, "age before beauty". LOL MWH laughed and then realized what I said and scoweled at me. LOL Kids..... they're so funny! I swear of the first 7 gifts she opened 5 were shoes! She got winter boots, green Mary Jane crocs, American Eagle sneakers, Old Navy house slippers and some Soda waffle stompers. Bob asked me "ARE THERE ANY MORE SHOES!?" I said, I don't think so but hell I really didn't know. She got a tye dye hoodie and pants (with the strong stipulation that she couldn't wear both of them at the same time), lots of Tinkerbelle shirts, a green military jacket, a long, fur lined denim coat, tons of Bath & Body Works and The Body Shop body butters, lots of lipgloss, Aquamarine DVD, a silver phone purse, some glitter blush, the last 2 Charlie Bone books, a ton of other books (you gotta love Books-A-Million!!), two new bras (sooooooo embarrasing) and so much more!

Bob and MWH got me Natinal Treasure on DVD, a beautiful, super soft, deep purple fleece jacket from Bass Pro, some Vent Visors for my Jeep and the most gorgeous Brushed Nickel Wall Mount Pot and Wine Rack. I have no actual pot to hang from it so I think I'll just hang my new Krona pans from Cruella on it. LOL You can hang wine glasses from it too but I haven't done that yet. Bob got his skid plate, some hand guards, lots of DVD's (Slingblade, the X-Men trilogy and Liar, Liar) and some Old Navy shirts which I fully intend to break in for him. LOL

We all went to bed thinking that Christmas was done but oh, was MWH ever wrong!! Bob waited patiently (that's so hard for him) for us to get up and when we did, MWH discovered that Santa had left something in her stocking! Imagine that! She had a manual and a key!! LOOK WHAT SANTA BROUGHT!!!!

Based on the ear to ear grin and the bear hugs here, I'm guessing she really likes it.

MWH was really excited, Bob was tickled shitless that she was so happy and I am just beside myself that she looks so small on it. LOL Is that an ATV or a tank? Good grief!

We spent the afternoon being lazy, watching Slingblade and munched on leftovers for lunch. That ham was sooooooo good!! We had planned on ordering pizza but none of the pizza places were open! When we headed into town, all that was open were gas stations (some, not all), Movie Gallery and Taco Mayo! So, we decided to have Christmas dinner at Taco Mayo with about 40 other families. LOL The drive thru was packed and so was the dinning room, it was hilarious! Everyone was so nice though, laughing and having a good time. It wasn't a normal Taco Mayo experience but more of a Christmassy good tidings type of atmosphere, you could literally feel the Christmas spirit all around you.

After dinner, Bob made duck hunting plans with his friends and napped in his chair while MWH and I watched Aquamarine. Yeah, life is goooooood.

Here's today's pajama shot. This is one of the piles of boxes and wrapping and everything leftover as I was taking it out to the trash. I actually wore these pants Friday and slept in them Sunday night (yes, they were washed in between there) and I stayed in them all day today. Yep, I'm totally lazy. LOL I even wore them to Taco Mayo!

Blogger is seriously fucking me over tonight. My spacing is all wrong and I just don't care. Enjoy and have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

CHRISTMAS EVE!! Sunday, Pajama Day: Day 3

2006-12-24T22:17:00.001-06:00

It's Sunday already and I'm just in shock that my little vacation is going so well!

Tonight we had the annual Christmas with the Horns get together and I'm telling you it was awesome! RetroKim always outdoes herself. Her house is just entirely absolutely the epitome of Christmas. Her dining room is Santa Red and I kid you not it looks like some elves decorated it. She scours resale shops and garage sales and everywhere to find the most amazing decorations, it's just her thing. One of our friends says it's "Christmas on crack" not that any of our friends would know what crack looks like. LOL Basically, they have anywhere from 13 to 20 trees, fully decorated, all over her house. She has trees in each bedroom, even the bathrooms! Theme trees, classic trees, bare trees, tinsel trees....... Oy, you name it, she can do it!

Here's a pic of today's pajamas and my wonderful new water machine!

I spent the afternoon making the traditional greenbean casserole and Rhodes rolls. I was also supposed to make a sugar free dessert so I made a Tiramisu. I found the recipe on splenda.com, you gotta love the internet!

After a magnificent dinner of decadent ham, sweet potato casserole, mashed potatoes and gravy, some kind of fantabulous corn dish, a pistachio salad and more we all retreated to the living room and opened presents. The girls got some awesome gifts, MWH got a purse from Claire's that she absolutely LOVES , Cars DVD and Over the Hedge DVD, as well as a ton of other goodies. Some of my loot was a super soft robe, a night shirt (that actually fits me!!) and some scentual smelling candles. I'm telling you, I have such great friends!! Bob got some new grilling tools and a really neat picture frame with antlers on it!! So kewl!

We all kicked back and enjoyed an array of spectacular desserts and lots of wine while we watched Cars and laughed our asses off at Mater and the other Radiator Springs characters. Did you know that Mater's character was based on an old International that was parked in Galena, KS? Don't believe me? Read this......

TOMORROW IS CHRISTMAS!!!!!! This could only be be better if they were predicting snow!

More Saturday

2006-12-23T18:14:00.000-06:00

Today we had Christmas with my mom. Yes, she's gone back home and all is well now. She'd been here since Wednesday evening, and yes, I had wine. All in all we had a good visit. She's so funny to be around sometimes, she says the silliest but oddest things.... I do think she had a good time though, that's all that matters.

She gave MWH a ton of clothes, as if the kid needed any more, a Phantom Stallion book and some DVD's (Benny and Joon!!). There were a few other little trinky dinks in there too but honestly I was too busy trying to figure out what was in one of my packages to see what MWH got. LOL She also gave her a nice sized wad of cold, hard cash. Now, to a 13 year old, that is amazing. Bob got a reciprocating saw that he's had his eyes on for some time (I tipped her on to that find) and some clothes and more cold, hard cash. I got some nice Isotoner black, leather gloves, a pizza peel, a stainless steel collander, clothes (God knows I need them with as much weight as I've lost) and exactly what I wanted, a hot/cold water dispenser! WOO HOO! I also got some pocket money to spend too. My mom rocks!!

All afternoon we did the kitchen thang. We slow simmered a chicken to make my world's famous chicken and noodles and we made FOUR batches of my fantastic fast fudge too. Two batches of peanut butter and two batches of chocolate peanut butter. I have a stand mixer and wow, that thing is incredible when it comes to making fudge! It really makes it extra creamy and so decadent! Yummmmmmmm.

I'm sitting here now, drinking some wine, and I'm a bit toasted. It's hard to type.... I bought some white zinfandel wine that came in little tiny bottles that is equivalent to 1 glass and I'm thinking that one glass may be too much for me now. LOL Oh well, I'm feelin' fine, just fine......

Saturday, Pajama Day: Day 2

2006-12-23T11:26:00.001-06:00

Here is the pic of DAY 2 of my PAJAMAMAMAMAFEST!!!! Sorry it's blurry, my mom took it and she isn't really good at stuff like that, sometimes the toilet handle is too complicated..... LOL

It's not even noon and I've done way too much for a Saturday!

So far, I've finished wrapping ALL of the gifts, I'm done. YIPPEEEEEEE! I've gone to Wal-Mart and bought groceries for tomorrow night's Dinner with the Horns and for my world famouse chicken and noodles for tonight's dinner. I treated MWH and Mom to breakfast at a local diner. I've even done some laundry today too!

Yesterday, after over three years of heated discussions, I finally convinced my mother to upgrade her cell phone. She has US Cellular and still uses a Nokia 5125. It's a dinosaur phone, the battery is loose and the phone is just not good. I called Cingular and got them to waive the $36 activation and she got a basic phone, the Motorola L2, for free. I think she'll like it, in a few years..... LOL

A dear, wonderful friend called me out of the blue yesterday and invited me out for drinks and dinner. She moved to Tulsa this spring and I don't get to see her much anymore so it was fantastic to hear from her and to get to go out and do something! We went for Mexican and shared a mango margarita, yummmmmm, it was so good! We sat there and talked about kids and men and jobs and life and Christmas and drank and talked about some more stuff. I'm so proud of her for all she's accomplished, she's so brave.

I'm gonna get off here and go make some fudge!! HO HO HO!!!!! Merry Christmas!

Friday, Pajama Day: Day 1

2006-12-22T23:48:00.001-06:00

It's official, it is now DAY 1 of my pajamamamamarama excursion.

Today we slept in, ah, that was nice. After a slow and lazy morning we headed to Joplin but of course we had to make one stop first. One of the greatest little shops here in tow was closing today, On The Corner, a little mom & pop shop that sells school clothing and candles and stuff is now closed for good. The owners also had a frozen custard place but that too has closed down now. So sad.

When we got to Joplin, I had a mission. I was in search of a soundtrack CD for The Preacher's Wife. A friend of mine is looking for it, she can't find her copy and I thought I'd suprise her with it for Christmas, but no luck. I hit Vintage Stock (formerly the Book Barn), Eccentrix (yes, the creepy little man was there again!!), Hastings (even though I'd been there once before), Best Buy, Sam Goody's, Wal-Mart and a few other places. I guess I'll just end up buying one new or hitting ebay, but no luck getting it in time for Christmas...... Oh well, I tried.

We also hit Books-A-Million where I scored like a madman on some great books! Thanks to Cruella for getting me the Millionaire Club card, I saved about $5 today, thanks sooooo much! I went in to get one particular book that I needed for MWH and found not only that one but a table of other teen books on sale! Well, one I found was a "choose your ending" type book and t wasn't on sale but those are awesome so I got it too.

We jaywalked across the street (yes, we're insane) to go to Shoe Carnival where we found absolutely nothing. I hate that damned clown store.......

Our next stop was the Northpark Mall, yes, today's stop made three visits this week, I am soooooo ready for Christmas to be over with. LOL I couldn't tell you all the stores we hit in the mall, I don't want carpal tunnel that much. LOL Let's just say that I did run out of checks. Oh, note to self, order more checks!

We tried to stop for lunch at that Greek place, Mythos, but they were closed for lunch, I guess they only do dinner....... darn it!

I have more to write about, Cingular and my dinner date to name a few things, but it's midnight now and I'm exhausted. More tomorrow folks, more tomorrow....... as if anyone's even reading this. LOL

What's under YOUR Christmas tree?

2006-12-21T23:55:00.000-06:00

*said in my best Capital One "What's in your wallet?" voice*

I have five gifts under my tree. Three are marked with my name or "mom" on them. One from my mom is (I think) a hot/cold water dispenser that I asked for, another is from Bob and I'm pretty sure it's a set of vent visors for my Jeep, which I've been wanting since the day I bought my Jeep, there's a DVD in my stocking, National Treasure I hope, I have a soft, squishy box from MWH that I think is a robe and then the last thing is from my mom and I don't know what the hell it is.

We had our gift exhange at work today and it was rather funny, there are 4 of us girls and we each drew a name out of a cup. I got T, T got me, C got D and D got C. There wasn't much variety this year. LOL T seemed to like the Bath & Body Works body wash I got her. When I bought it though I thought it was lotion. The scents were peppermint, gingerbread and hot chocolate, they all smell sooooooo real. But they were body washes not lotions, I could kick myself sometimes. T got me a neat bath basket and some body wash too. I guess we both think the other stinks. LOL T got D a yummy cake candle with a glass stand and a carton of cigarettes and D got C a purple hat and scarf set, very her, very cute and fun! One of the wise men bought our lunch and entertained us for the hour, he's so funny!!!!!! We even got a pic of him with C's purple hat on, sooooooo hilarious!

Bob has left to One Eye's, it's just me, mom and MWH. We're gonna go shopping tomorrow sinced I don't have to work, woo hoo! Hey, Earthlily, I SUCK! hahahaha I may suck, babe, but YOU are stuck at your desk working...... LOL I'm sorry, that's mean, oh well, that's what best friends are for. Honestly though, I do have the world's greatest bosses, they are truly, absolutely, 100%, undoubtedly amazing! It's all "family" and "fun" and "do your best", you don't find many places like that anymore. I'm truly lucky!!

Oh, a sad thing...... Two of my favorite places ever are closing. J&W Custard and On The Corner. Todd & Missy are closing the doors for good. So sad........

Tonight I have on my flannel striped 'jama bottoms (THANKS CRUELLA!) so I'm all warm and so ready for sleep, good night!

I have the best...

2006-12-21T16:52:00.000-06:00

Friend!!!!!!!!!! My friend Cruella mailed me the bestestestest Christmas package this week! She sent me FOUR pair of the mosty comfortable flannel pajamamama bottoms! For those of you keeping count, I now have 5 pair of flannels and 2 fleece! I'm not getting dressed all holiday weekend! She also sent me GREY'S ANATOMY SEASON 2!!!!!!!! WOO HOO! YIPPEEEEEE! And if that wasn't enough, there was the most adorable little beanie baby and a fabulous holstien cow that just melts your heart! She and the ol' Coyote really outdid themselves this year which brings me to my next I have the best...

BOSSES!!!!!!!! My bosses (and the first bitch) have decided to close our office at noon tomorrow and close both Monday and Friday. Since I was originally told I'd have Friday off though I STILL GET IT OFF! WOO HOO! So I have 5 days off for Christmas, three of which are p.a.i.d. That fucking rocks!

So, I sit here, ready to leave for the extended holiday weekend with optimism and blessings in my heart. Merry Christmas y'all!

Christmas, just a few more days...

2006-12-19T22:08:00.000-06:00

Where has the year gone? We're only 6 days away from Christmas and I still remember January like it was yesterday! Oy, vey!

It's still unclear how much time I'm getting off for Christmas. We were going to just be closed Monday, two of us girls were going to work Friday while the other two took off, then Tuesday the two who were off would work and the two who worked would be off, but now we may have both off, I have no idea, I just want to know one way or the other for sure. LOL

My mom is coming over tomorrow, we're going to do Christmas a little early. Bob is going to One Eye's to go duck hunting and I'll have some alone time. Yeah, with my mom and MWH. I'll need alcohol....... Lots of alcohol. Christmas Eve will be with friends, our annual thing where we sit around and gab, do karaoke and talk about the kids and everything that has happened since the beginning of time, I can't wait for Christmas Eve!

Friday night was the PTSO dance I had to go to. It went well, I really enjoy stuff like that. I had a fair amount of help and I'm so grateful for that! We even had one parent who works for AT&T donate 10 MP3 players and 10 CD players for the door prize give a ways! That was awesome!

Saturday Miss Whineyhiney and I got our hair all done and we looked so nice. I took everyone to Wal-Mart and got the annual family Christmas photo taken, I can't wait until they come in Friday! I actually bought a new frame tonight, I'm really looking forward to it!

After pictures we headed to Grove to Bob's work Christmas party. There were a lot of people there as usual and it was so fun to get out and not have to do anything. I got a few compliments from people I hadn't seen for a while, that rocks.

After work Monday, RetroKim and I headed to Joplin for some last minute shopping. I found what I thought was my last stuff but again I bought something for myself (hahahaha) and realized it was too big so Bob and I went back to Joplin tonight and exchanged my too big pants.
I now have three pair of pajama bottoms, one flannel and two fleece. During my four day holiday I will not be getting dressed. I will be wearing pajama bottoms all holiday. I am boycotting pants and dressing up.

Pajama bottoms every day for meeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

No pics yet

2006-12-18T12:52:00.000-06:00

I am such a slacker! I did get our pics taken Saturday but they won't be in until Friday. I tried to get my family to take my picture because I was all dressed up for the Christmas party and had my hair done and had make up on but nooooooo, no one would take my picture. UGH!

So, Friday the pics will be in. I'll run them to work and scan them in so I can upload them here to share. Sorry for the delay folks, so sorry.

What do they say? The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Hiatus

2006-12-15T05:27:00.000-06:00

It's been ages *over a week!!* since I blogged. So not cool.

Let's see..... what happened in the past 8 days? Well, Friday I took off work to chaperone the chorus kids at WRMS to go to Tulsa to sing Christmas carols at the Promenade Mall. The teacher, the school counselor and me and 45 kids. I was the only parent who went. I had a blast and did a little Christmas shopping. I had lunch at Chic Fil A and I think it's my new favorite place to eat. They have these grilled chicken tenders in the kids meal and they are wonderful. They let you get a fruit cup rather than french fries and that totally rocks too! YUMMMMMMMM!

Friday night was our office Christmas party and had a fucking blast. My bosses are sooooooo cool, truly amazing. I had the best shrimp ever and I even drank a little! I had a little wine and W ordered me a redheaded slut or something like that. My first shot since my surgery. No, I didn't down it in one drink, I broke it up into 3 drinks, but damn it felt gooooood. After dinner and drinks and good company and a little dirty Santa, we gambled a little and went home. My dirty Santa gift was a stunning set of crystal wine glasses. Stunning. W's wife did a fantastic job in buying us girls gifts this year, I think everyone got what they wanted and were very pleased with what we got. When we got home it was midnight and we were flat out exhausted. Bob had to get up at 3:00 am to go to One Eye's to go duck hunting (his new passion). He was probably still drunk when he left but I really don't know because I was completely unconscious. MWH spent the night with a friend so I was alone but I still woke up before 6:00 am! What is up with that? I can NEVER sleep anymore. It was fine though, I laid on the couch and watched the movies that I'd PVR'd all week and hadn't had time to watch. Nice....

After I picked up MWH from her sleepover, I took a nice, long nap. Ahhhhhh. We had plans to go to the Christmas parade and to see Mrs. Coach and her fine family in the Nutcracker. The parade was actually pretty good this year! Usually there are a crap load of fillers and huge gaps between the different entrants, but not this year, they hoofed it and really kept the pace going! We had plenty of time to get over to NEO to see the Nutcracker.

MWH's friend who was in it actually sprained her ankle in the first scene. Oy vey.... Poor kid. Wait, when did I become Jewish? LOL Anyway, she's a trooper and just kept on going. She endured through both Saturday night's performance AND Sunday's matinee. Amazing child....

Sunday we did nothing, absolutely nothing. I was wiped.

Work has been good this week. Busy but good. I had my 6 month evaluation and got a nice, very nice, super sweet wonderful nice raise. I also got told how great I was doing and that means the world to me, the money is nice, ok, damned good, but to hear your boss say good things about you and how you do things is priceless.

I also now am UNDER 200 pounds. That is so fucking awesome. Words just can not say it. I'm wearing a size 16 jean and got called "hot" and "sexy" yesterday. Wow....

Tuesday I felt a little tickle in my throat and my nose, I could tell something was looming. I haven't really broken out into a full fledged anything but if I had stock in Kleenex I'd be loaded right now. My nose is leaking. I'm tired and my back and neck hurts. It's been a few days and it's not progressed into anything major so I think I'm lucky.

Oh, Tuesday I hit it pretty good at the casino. Well, not taxable good, but I put in $5 and walked away with $90. To me that is damned wonderful. Hellooooooo Christmas cash.

Tonight is a dance at MWH's school. PTSO is doing it and since I'm PTSO president it's me doing it. I'm so tired and I feel like I've let the kids down by not doing more. I should have gotten more door prizes and stuff but I didn't. I should have called more parents but I didn't. I'm sick. Bite me.

Bob's Christmas party is Saturday night and MWH and I are getting our hair done. I am hoping to do some pictures that afternoon so I can get someone to stop asking me to update my pic! LOL

Oh, I need some advice. I have Cingular and I want to upgrade my cell. I'm thinking of getting a RAZR or a SLVR. I just don't know how many songs you can put on them and do you have to use iTunes? There's also a couple Sony units that look good too. I want a camera and an MP3 player this time. I don't have to have a flip phone, oh the choices. I'd like a Palm Treo but I can't afford it since I blew all my bonus on diamond earrings and crap. LOL

Well, it's about time to get up and start my day, I'm outta here.

ADVICE!

2006-12-07T10:53:00.000-06:00

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a 'drop off' (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping horse which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is another galloping horse. Both horses are also traveling at the same speed as you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

For the answer click and drag your mouse from star to star.

* Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round. *